Gaining in secrecy

Joined 10 years

Whichever one feels more important.. But if he values you above all else he can accept your fetish and roll with it.

If he doesn't and you still want to gain, it just wasn't in the stars. =/

But this all comes down to what you want.. And sometimes there's a choice.. Talk with him about it and see if he's supportive of your wishes. He knows you have it and that it's purely from your own desire. And sometimes if you love someone enough, even if you aren't crazy about what you are crazy about.. they'll indulge in it.

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

Tate

Joined 9 years

Weight-gain/feeding is not a switch that can just be turned off. It can be postponed for a time but it always rears it's head again. It has ruined more than a few relationships.
Continue to ask for his support, most of the time outsiders have to be eased into feedism. Show him all the positives that we all love about feedism. I.e: ghetto booties, huge racks, something to grab onto, plus there's always food in the house! Haha. There are a lot of things that result from feedism that everyone can enjoy. You also need to support him in his kinks. Show him your commitment and he's more inclined to show you his.
Feedism is a part of you. If he's not at least OKAY with feedism then he doesn't like you, he likes the idea of you. If that's the case then unfortunately your relationship has a "best by" date.
Hope this helps.

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

Bobbyreb

Joined 11 years

Well, as person that was in a relationship where my fetish was "out" but my partner was not into it, I kinda lean toward going with what YOU want.
My desires and feeling never went away. Why would they, they are me!
I think that the same thing might happen with you. Enjoy him as long as you want, and if he is more to you than your desire to gain, keep him as long as he treats you right! But if he treats you wrong because you try and express yourself, he aint worth the time and will bring heart break in the end.

I have been known to be wrong though, so feel free to ignore the advice of this complete stranger!

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

Studmuffintop

Joined 14 years

why be with someone if you cant be yourself? Why would only give them maybe 50% of the real you. Are you going to be happy to lie to yourself and not do what I assume makes you happy.

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

GrowingLoveHandles

Joined 10 years

CharlieInTheBox wrote:
Cards on the table -

You want someone who, when you gain a few pounds, will drop everything, pick you up, carry you to the bed, rip off your clothing and run hot hands over folds and rolls and bulges. As he whispers "Who's my fat girl? Who?" both of you are throbbingly, explosively turned on, and nobody sees or hears from you for 24 hours.

This is not that situation, and never will be.

I do not know what to tell you. Sex is not the only component in a deep relationship, but gaining and having someone to delight in it goes wayyyy down to the soul, to the essence, to the core.

Only you can make that decision to stay or go, or to try and convince this man to be volcanically turned on by your bigger figure.

My last GF was REALLY into backside penetration, obsessed with it, really. I was not into it at all at all, but because she loved and wanted it so much, I gave it a shot. I couldn't even get in there because it didn't turn me on, at all.

Eventually she stopped asking for it, and I felt bad because I knew she really wanted that. But what you gonna do? You can't fake the POW.

I agree with all of this.

But I add...

People change, and sometimes it's their exposure to new ideas ("kinks" or "fetishes" if you like) which help them to change.

Don't give up yet. He may come around.

I think you can look through the forums here and talk to plenty of folks here whose ideas regarding this fetish have changed or "matured" over the years.

Sometimes, it just takes exposure and time.

Best to you!

Zonker

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

Jazzman

Joined 16 years

In a month I will note the end of a 21 year marriage that ended two years ago. A marriage of the"shotgun" variety.
My fetish was a source of conflict for 15 of those years.
Shortly after when I began dating my Feedee Friends
advised that I would fail at relationships with women
who didn't share my views and Desires. Just like my
ex.And they were right.
Our fetish is unique.
Complete transparency is an Absolute Must.
Don't leave anything to chance. Bring everything
out in the open. You will be happier in the long run.
Best wishes.

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

AskDrFeeder

Joined 15 years

Tough call.

If you love each other, and your gaining would kill your sex life*, and your sex life is crucial to your relationship, consider putting the gaining thing aside.

Feedism is great but love is better.

*some men have trouble getting it up for women who are too far from their ideal weight range. Of course he might not even know his own limits in this regard.

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

AskDrFeeder

Joined 15 years

Anyway, I really think you should have a heart-to-heart talk with him about this.

I've noticed that a lot of people go ahead gain without discussing it with their partner and just keep their fingers crossed and hope it works out. It's kind of a crap shoot. Possibilities:

1. The partner never says anything about it and is to be okay with it or even learns to like it.

2. The partner never says anything but is not okay with it. It becomes the elephant in the room.

3. The partner doesn't say anything until the feedee has gained way more than they're comfortable with. The partner demands that the feedee diet--of course that's not always possible or acceptable.

I would say that both people in these relationships are being remiss. Weight issues on are very often hard for people to discuss, regardless of which partner is doing the gaining.

So I understand that it's hard to talk about, but I still don't really get why people don't do it. Can you even enjoy gaining if you're so worried about the consequences?

9 years

Gaining in secrecy

Forcemefatter

Joined 15 years

"This", our desires, will NEVER go away. We can pretend and we can bury it, but then we will never be truly happy. You have to pick your happy.

9 years