Wish I wasn't on a mobile device lol. I'll try to keep it short. It's okay if this is a bigger deal to you than you thought it to be. That doesn't make you a bad person. This is more important to some, than to others, just like any other characteristic. It does mean you have to figure out how to deal with it.
If your girl was okay being bigger and now insisted on dieting and being smaller, why the change? Something they read? Something someone said? Something they randomly thought about and realized something that makes them feel the need to lose weight? Perhaps they suspect you're only "saying it to be nice" or maybe you do like them larger but perhaps they think you'd like them EVEN MORE smaller. Trying to pinpoint what changed and why, might be be helpful and might also be very hard lol.
One friend of mine was chubby and wasn't concerned about losing weight until her sister declared she would never lose weight. That sent her on a mission to prove she could, and she did, by taking extreme measures that had us worried. But, she did.
I think the best idea is to keep human nature in mind. What means the most to your girl, is your approval, support, acceptance and love. Never tie them to one particular thing. That's manipulation.
What I would do, is prove my sincerity in little subtle ways, that will add up over time and hope she reverts to her old ways. She might. She'll want to add to your happiness and she'll want you to enjoy her. Girls don't enjoy dieting and restricting themselves. That's no fun.
So, what would I do? I'd say things remind her how much fun we had before the diet. Subtly remind her what she's missing by dieting. Say positive things about her present while tying to something even better from the past.
"I was just remembering how fun/nice it was to eat out as much as we used to. All the good restaurants and no food to fix or dishes to wash. Pre-diet days, but I have to commend you on how well you've stuck with it. It's obviously important to you."
After something really good gets advertised on TV "Oh wow, did you see that? That's soooo good! Totally not compatible with your diet. Do you have any cheat days coming up?" Or, "Of you ever want to suspend your diet for an evening, let me know and we'll spend an evening discovering if it's as good as it looks"
"Wow, you look amazing in that dress/shirt/swimsuit. Even losing weigh/with as much weight as you've lost, you still look fantastic/hot/sexy". She may not ask, but she will definitely be wondering if you like her better before or now. If she does ask, be honest but don't make a big deal out of it. "Even though you look good now, before is still my favorite, but I'm glad you're accomplishing your goal. You've done well"
What you're doing is planting seeds. At some point in the future, they may start growing and even bare fruit. It's very unlikely - extremely unlikely - that anything you say or do, will change a girl's mind on the spot or over night, if she feels compelled to lose weight. Her mind can change, but it'll be a multi step process that takes time. You can help and encourage but you can't beat her over the head with it. If she suspects you have an agenda, you'll lose credibility. It kinda has to be something she arrives at on her own, but you can definitely help light the path.
Keep your focus on what she needs to feel good about herself, rather than feeling criticized or condemned for not doing what you want. If she was okay with being big in the past, she likely will again, especially if she's with someone who would appreciate and enjoy it too. At some point, she may feel that gives her permission to dump the diet and have fun.
Sorry this was so long and for any typos I missed. I hope it was at least partially helpful and I hope it works out for each of you - and everyone else in the same spot.
8 years
)