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difficulty gaining and accepting myself7 months

I've been struggling. For years of my life I used to long to be at the very least "chubby". I used to watch and rewatch episodes of shows that contained characters gaining weight(example: Family Guy - "Sibling Rivalry"smiley. I was 5 years old when I first started stuffing pillows in my shirt. When I was 7, I was shamed by my parents for doing it, and to this day I'm still embarrassed of who I am.

I know this is who I am. I have forever wanted a big doughy belly and big plump thighs, but I'm afraid of what people I know would think of me. What would they say? I love my friends and family and I don't want to risk turning them away.

This is what I want. My heart yearns to be as big as possible, and as I'm writing this I'm crying my eyes out because I just can't do it. I have been trying and trying for years to gain weight and I'm still around the same weight I was 3 years ago.

I want help, please. I just need to talk to someone. I want to talk to anyone who will let me vent and will provide me with advice. I'm so scared I won't ever be the me I want to be.

Message me here or over kik or you can email me

Kik: lilmsoak

Email: lilmsoak@gmail.com

difficulty gaining and accepting myself7 months

I don't have a kik, so I sent an email (definitely a clunkier way to communicate, but w/e)

difficulty gaining and accepting myself7 months

If you do it slowly enough, your friends and family will barely notice until it's a "oh, you're bigger!" moment. And by then, they'll be used it. Like 10 pounds a year. I know that's slow, but if you've been the same weight for 3 years, at least you'll be working towards your goal.

Tower is right, it's about little changes. A couple extra cookies, a few bites more of dinner...

And also, your family/friends who truly care about you won't be alienated if you gain weight. The ones who love you will say, "Chubbyoak, you look so happy lately!" 😊