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feederism identity and attraction5 months

I have been thinking recently about my personal dichotomous feelings about what is attractive: I think that big, round bellies on other people is the sexiest thing possible, however only find myself attractive when I am losing weight. For a very long time I believed that I was /attracted/ to both body types (very fat people and unhealthily skinny people), but after developing an eating disorder, realized that I am *attracted* to fat people, but want to *be* a 'skinny person'; I don't actually find unnaturally thin people sexually arousing, but I do find them... beautiful.
I understand the concept of mutual gainers, but I now and curious about if people who fall on either the 'feedee' or 'feeder' side have the same opposing beliefs on what is attractive on others and on them, and why. To people on either side, is all fat attractive? Is it only attractive on yourself or others?

feederism identity and attraction5 months

This is something I've also grappled with.

I have the same dichotomous preferences - for myself I only want to be athletic, or quite built, whereas contrastingly I would only want a partner or a woman that I'm seeing to be fat. However I do find slim women 'beautiful', just not deeply attractive or arousing in the same way.

It's taken a lot of confusion and mental health-anguish to work out these preferences - sounds like you may have gone through something similar?

feederism identity and attraction4 months

flingbing1819:
I have been thinking recently about my personal dichotomous feelings about what is attractive: I think that big, round bellies on other people is the sexiest thing possible, however only find myself attractive when I am losing weight. For a very long time I believed that I was /attracted/ to both body types (very fat people and unhealthily skinny people), but after developing an eating disorder, realized that I am *attracted* to fat people, but want to *be* a 'skinny person'; I don't actually find unnaturally thin people sexually arousing, but I do find them... beautiful.
I understand the concept of mutual gainers, but I now and curious about if people who fall on either the 'feedee' or 'feeder' side have the same opposing beliefs on what is attractive on others and on them, and why. To people on either side, is all fat attractive? Is it only attractive on yourself or others?


What the heart wants, we can do little about.

I think that we all have a wider range of attraction than what we give ourselves credit for. I know, for myself, that my longest and most fulfilling relationships have often been based on much more than physical features.

The ability to laugh with someone is sexy as hell.
The ability to talk for hours about all kinds of things is sexy as hell.
The ability to just be silent with someone -- and really feel together -- is sexy as hell.

Oh well, I feel I'm going off topic, but bottom line: I think everyone should give themselves permission to expand their preferences.

feederism identity and attraction4 months

flingbing1819:
I have been thinking recently about my personal dichotomous feelings about what is attractive: I think that big, round bellies on other people is the sexiest thing possible, however only find myself attractive when I am losing weight. For a very long time I believed that I was /attracted/ to both body types (very fat people and unhealthily skinny people), but after developing an eating disorder, realized that I am *attracted* to fat people, but want to *be* a 'skinny person'; I don't actually find unnaturally thin people sexually arousing, but I do find them... beautiful.
I understand the concept of mutual gainers, but I now and curious about if people who fall on either the 'feedee' or 'feeder' side have the same opposing beliefs on what is attractive on others and on them, and why. To people on either side, is all fat attractive? Is it only attractive on yourself or others?


This is spot on how i feel aswell.

feederism identity and attraction4 months

You might find that your opinions on your own body type evolve as you get older. I used to only find fat women attractive and I preferred to stay thin. As the years rolled on, my feeder side started turning inward. I grew a small belly in my late 20s and was disgusted by it at first. After a few years of having it, I began to accept it and like it. Now I want to get bigger.

I guess my point is that our little kink is not so rigid. You may or may not feel the same way in 10 years as you do now.

feederism identity and attraction4 months

Everyone has what they're attracted to, and how they feel about themselves. Often our view of ourselves differs greatly from what we are attracted to.

Women are beautiful regardless of size, even stick skinny women. Of course, I still very much prefer fat women; slightly chubby to extremely obese.

For myself I feel most comfortable with my body at 190-200 pounds. (I'm 6' tall) At 180 I feel too thin, and at 210 I get self conscious about my moobs. However, on other men I see no attractiveness change based on their weight. This could be just because I'm not attracted to men in the first place so I don't really care.

My wife is different though. In her opinion women aren't attractive unless they have a bmi of about 30 or more, and she wants that for herself as well. She was 86 pounds when we met, now 120, (just genetics, she struggles to keep weight on), but she's going for 180 minimum which would give her a bmi of 30.

Her measure of men's attractiveness is a little more liberal than her view of an attractive woman's body. In her opinion im not too skinny until 160 and not too fat until 300.

So, really there's nothing wrong with having differences in how you see yourself and how you want to be verses what you find attractive in others. Everyone is different and the fact that we're all so unique is what makes the human race so beautiful.

feederism identity and attraction3 months

I go crazy with this.
When I was 120 pounds, I didn't think I was sexy, yet I was almost afraid of gaining weight because I was society's ideal. I am way turned on being a fat girl, but get down on myself if I'm with someone who isn't into it, even if they don't complain I'll sometimes wish I was like, anorexic just to make them happy. If it was up to me I'd just be with a feeder and get fatter and love every second of it, never wanting to be thin. . But without the feeder, I get a little too self conscious sometimes.
Other girls, omg.. love all of them, but especially chubby to obese.
Men usually I prefer thin, even scrawny, or muscular. Some rare exceptions of course

feederism identity and attraction3 months

Some men may prefer the anorexic type female, but most guys like "normal" to chubby women with a great many preferring the absolutely massive. I think just as the supermodels are an aberration so is the idea that most men are into supermodel types. I, for one, prefer to have something to hang on to!

feederism identity and attraction3 months

You see, I like seeing chubby women with bellies but I am in no way sexually attracted to females. I consider myself to be vicarious in the way that I don't want to live with the weight, but I do want to be close to another and contribute to their over all gain. The soft pudginess of women's bellies don't compare to males (just my preference) I personally like the way I look when I'm on the thinner side as opposed to when I was larger. I am sexually attracted to toned men, however.

feederism identity and attraction3 months

Trina:
I go crazy with this.
When I was 120 pounds, I didn't think I was sexy, yet I was almost afraid of gaining weight because I was society's ideal. I am way turned on being a fat girl, but get down on myself if I'm with someone who isn't into it, even if they don't complain I'll sometimes wish I was like, anorexic just to make them happy. If it was up to me I'd just be with a feeder and get fatter and love every second of it, never wanting to be thin. . But without the feeder, I get a little too self conscious sometimes.
Other girls, omg.. love all of them, but especially chubby to obese.
Men usually I prefer thin, even scrawny, or muscular. Some rare exceptions of course


It sounds like you have a strong need to please your partner and/or gain their approval. We all do to some extent, some more than others, so it's not a bad thing at all. You also want to be true to yourself and enjoy what you like, so if that is the opposite of what your partner wants, stress and anxiety are the result. You need a partner who wants for you, the same as what you want for yourself, so you can please yourself and him at the same time. That would be a win-win. 🙂

feederism identity and attraction3 months

I find gaining women attractive, but I don't want to gain. I find fat very feminine, and I don't want to be feminine. Also I am older, have HBP and diabetes, so I couldn't gain anyway. If anyone is going to gain, they should do it young.

feederism identity and attraction3 months

I am almost exactly the same, OP. And this is a great thread.

I'm a pansexual feeder/encourager/FA but I am actively trying to lose a large amount of weight myself (and am halfway to that goal). I find all shapes and sizes attractive depending on the person, but big, soft bodies do that much more for me in general.

feederism identity and attraction3 months

Good question, I'll try to give you my point of view. I like to be thin not because I don't like fat but i do sports and like being muscular. And it's not because of some society bull**** but only because it makes me feel good.
Regarding to my partner, I'd rather have a chubby or big girlfriend. I like round shapes and the feels that love handels, fat booty, boobies, etc give you. Moreover I like when the girl is letting herself go because she's happy in the relationship so she does not care about her weight anymore. I think this kind of relationships are fusionnal.
I hope I kind of answered your question although I'm not sure I understand everything you meant.^^
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