General

Found the bhm of my dreams--while married to someone else.

Oh my God. I am so horribly, horribly conflicted. My entire life I have been an FFA. I tried ignoring it, suppressing it, denying it, which just led to emotional damage. I never found a BHM, nobody. I feel in love with a thin person 8 years ago, and dated them despite not being attracted to their body. I felt like we were soul mates. I completely forsook my needs to cater to them and to relish our extremely strong emotional bond and our love.

We finally tied the knot four months ago.

Then I meet the flipping BHM feedee of my dreams.

We hit it off IMMEDIATELY. We are a perfect match in seemingly every way. He's got all the things about my current partner that I love, and has all the things my current partner lacks. He's confident and exciting. He's everything I ever dreamed of. He's the person I didn't think existed, the person I thought would forever be consigned to my dreams. I thought my FFA side would never, ever be fulfilled, and it was killing me. I longed so badly for it my soul was sick. And then this BHM came into the picture. We've fallen in love very, very rapidly, and last night we made out for hours in my car, totally enraptured. It was heaven, bliss, something I never thought I would get to do, my dream come true. With horror, I have realized that I am in love with him, and I never want to be without him.

Do I leave my mate, whom I've been with for 8 years faithfully? For a man I only just met? I don't know if Mr. BHM wants to commit, but it seems like it in his eyes. I wouldn't just have to break up with my partner, but DIVORCE him! My partner would be beyond devastated; I am his everything. He would not bounce back. But he knows very well my desires of feederism and FA, but he is 100% never going to gain even a couple pounds. He hates fat. I can't live on fantasies my whole life. I can't live without that kind of love. I can't live like this anymore, but how could I leave after all this time, throwing my partner who has stood by me and made life worth living like he's a piece of trash, just for the CHANCE of having something serious with Mr. BHM of my dreams?

I feel like I'm using both of them: using my spouse by lying, and using Mr. BHM of my dreams to have a fling without allowing him the option of getting more serious if he wants to, without allowing him the knowledge that I love him enough to be faithful to only him, without allowing the relationship the opportunity to evolve naturally. I just want to be with him forever. I want him. And I feel like the worst, most amoral person on the planet.
6 years

Found the bhm of my dreams--while married to someone else.

To be blunt - you either need to get a divorce ASAP, or cease all contact with this new guy (and even in the latter case, you should probably come clean with your husband). It sounds like the former is what you actually want.
6 years

Found the bhm of my dreams--while married to someone else.

Having your FFA side activated is no doubt envigorating, but it doesn't necessarily mean that your new friend would be a better long-term partner than your husband. After all, you've just met him - there could be many issues that are no obvious now that turn out to be serious impediments to long-term happiness. My advice would be to slow things down with your new friend so you don't damage your marriage beyond repair before thinking it through.
6 years