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spouse discovers, disgusted with fetish. ends up gaining a lot of weight.2 weeks

Has anyone had a spouse discover your fetish, express disgust. Yet then end up gaining a lot of weight after your interest was revealed?

I find myself in a precarious spot. Though I remember countless feeder/feedee experiences as a teen, like many, I didn’t discover that this was officially “a thing” until much later in life – midway in my marriage. I kept it a secret until my wife stumbled upon content on my phone. Not surprising, my 105lb skinny wife was disgusted. Now in her mid-30’s, she has been skinny her entire life. The conversation essentially ended with her stating “Well I’m never going to be a fucking fat girl, OK! End of story.”

But the moment after she made that "fat girl" statement, it's been a weird, self-fulfilling prophecy. I do all of the cooking in our house and did 100% of the grocery shopping for 12 years. But once my wife took over making the kid’s lunches, she insisted that she wanted to do the shopping to select all of the kid’s items. I had no problem with that; but I was taken aback by how much food she came home with – literally over twice what I would buy. For the first time in our household, we now officially had a “junk food cabinet” which slowly turned into almost 2 full cabinets. The freezer now was chuck full of large bags of pizza rolls, jalapeño poppers, etc.

She insisted it was for the constantly hungry kids and sleepovers. In retrospect, I ironically now remember early on, my wife wanted me to do the shopping because she “always goes to the store hungry and overbuys”.

Her nightly pastime had always been laying around watching Netflix and drinking wine. But it was now Netflix, wine and endlessly snacking. And she became increasingly possessive over which foods were “her snacks” and which were for the kids lunches. And she would throw a mini-fit if the kids had eaten her particular food as it was sabotaging her critical “unplug time”. When I offered I would make a night-run to replace it, she would melt. And it was such a turn on. 3 years ago if I had offered to get her food at night she would say “why, you trying to get me fat like those girls on your phone!”.

A couple years of this and she developed a pretty nice overhanging pot belly. Christmas last year, her interest in craft beer helped pile on another good 30lbs and she was buying a lot of new clothes around that time and I don’t think really ever felt uncomfortable in her clothes. For the Holidays we took some family photos and to me, she looked like a different person. Looked, well, heavy.

My mother-in-law then innocently posted an unflattering family gathering photo to Facebook of my wife eating a piece of cake. Belly hanging out. She looked far larger in the photo than even in real life. This photo threw my wife into an existential crisis. Laying in bed staring at the photo “I’m getting fat, aren’t I? Look at my fucking face. I’m fucking fat.”

She plunged into fitness and dieting for a period to stop her weight gain. Lost a decent amount. She even ran a 5K….only to come to the conclusion that she can never give up the things she loves. And those things are going to make her gain weight. She seemed at a crossroads. She started eating again and the weight piled back on. When friends were over, she started to acknowledge her weight gain in conversation and joke about gaining more weight. Cracking open another 300cal beer she’d remark ”Adulting is going to make me so fat".

Even though she always knew I would appreciate her heavier, once she verbalized her weight gain, it seemed to give herself the peace, acceptance and license to really let herself go, to accept herself as loving food and not being a skinny person any more.

She gave away all of her skinny jeans from 3 years ago to a friend. Seems there's no turning back now in her mind. When we have sex she says she loves her bigger boobs and hips. The whole thing has been kind of a mind fuck for me because she’s still not into this fetish at all.

When we eat out I'll sometimes go into feeder mode and bring up getting a huge appetizer I know she likes. She'll squint her eyes, smirk and give me that look "I know what’s up” and say something like “sounds amazing, just don’t get all horny and freaky on me now”….per usual, I’ll take one bite and let her eat the whole thing to herself.

Most women naturally gain weight w/age due to unavoidable metabolism and hormonal panel changes. So I would imagine there are probably many folks that have been in my same position??

spouse discovers, disgusted with fetish. ends up gaining a lot of weight.2 weeks

My ex gained a lot of weight, but she got mad at me when she saw it turned me on. So, perhaps it is not the weight gain, it's that she does not want you turned on by it.

spouse discovers, disgusted with fetish. ends up gaining a lot of weight.2 weeks

The only reason she even cared about her weight was her perception in the workplace. That dynamic is a whole other chapter in this story. She works for a retail fashion company and therefore is surrounded by attractive, fashion forward, often fit women.

But..that company also happens to be Lane Bryant. So she spends all day staring at photography of bbw women and working on body positive marketing campaigns. This undoubtedly has had a radical transforming effect on her perception over the last few years.

She's started to follow certain bbw models and body positive channels on Instagram.

Recently I described a particular lady that's 250 lbs as overweight and my wife instantly responded "No, I don't think she's overweight".

spouse discovers, disgusted with fetish. ends up gaining a lot of weight.2 weeks

Lane Bryant has seemed to change a lot over the past few years. They always had pictures of thin women in their stores, and said that fat women would not buy clothes modeled on fat women. I have noticed that they are using BBW pictures in the stores, and have more body positive slogans around.