General

Good points. I'd say finding a partner that's on the same page is the hardest thing. If only it were as simple as 'she's already fat she'll be thrilled when I suggest I like it and suggest she can eat more and anything they like.' A lot of people have so much stigma built up that even if they're fat they hate themselves just because....that's how society says you should feel and your compliments don't get taken seriously or can even be met with anger (inherently think you can't be serious and just being a dick.

I feel guilty I guess because yes the further it goes the more you're technically encouraging someone to be unhealthy. I myself always stay fairly fit and have no gaining desires and I'm not even much into food myself. But I guess opposites attract and I find BBW who practically love food as much as sex to be irresistible.

I was recently in a relationship where she was already quite fat when we met and put on a bit more throughout. I encouraged her for her looks and her appetite and she actually learned to genuinely love her body, wear more revealing clothes, eat completely freely, etc. But if I go so far as suggesting purposely gaining weight that's where the hard lines start to come in with most people. Many see it as you trying to change them and nobody likes the overbearing feeling of that.

I have never felt ashamed about it. Sometimes one can hear others complaining over fat related things. Show I bang on their orientation? This is something that many people have, and according to my opinion, are programmed with from start. As with everything it needs control though.

That's why I always delete my search history on the internet I guess

I am not ashamed per say... However as I am still stuck in the closet and none of my friends or family know how I feel about growing fatter these past couple years... I can hardly claim to fly my freak flag proudly.

I hide my search history and make sure my bottle of Eatmore natural pills isn't out in open. Hide the heavy whipping cream in the back of my fridge, nobody has ever seen my weight log or measurements spreadsheet.

That doesn't stop me from gaining weight and my friends are aware I can pound down 5 chilli dogs or 2 jacks pizzas in a single sitting. But I never flaunt my true appetite in front of people. If I order a calzone and full hoagie from the pizza place near my parents house I pick it up on my way home rather then have it delivered to their door. Or get one or the other if I am staying for dinner... Is that shameful behavior?

I still intend to weigh 300+ someday and would appreciate any advice from people were honest with their loved ones about wanting to be fat and liking the extra weight.

I wouldn’t say ashamed, but more that I’m not interested in sharing this fact with anyone who isn’t into it as well. There’s a reason I visit this site on “private” mode... don’t need someone borrowing my phone and getting outed by autocomplete based on my history. Even though I don’t think anyone I know would react negatively if they knew (since I cut off the one fat shaming family member I had years ago) it’s really none of their fucking business and I’d feel awkward having that conversation.

I mean, how could you not. As an FA, I feel lucky to find a partner that simply accepts that I find them beautiful. Finding someone turned on by their weight feels literally impossible. So if I'm with someone who is fat and doesn't like it, kinda hard to not feel a little bad about that. Just annoying that it takes a year into a relationship sometimes for belly play to be acceptable. Imagine what it's like for people with normal interests, how easy it must be to connect with people

Truth is, what is really normal ? I have spent my youth traveling because my family were in television and production so in if the benefits of traveling is that you get to meet all types of people and what you find that there is no such thing as normal interests especially when it comes to sexual arousal experiences. BDSM might be in fashion now but our "culture" changes all the time so the thing is to realize that there are plenty of others who might get off to other fetishes that are not popular so they feel the same way. What I learned was that I had to find folks who genuinely like what they liked from a place of enjoyment and not narcissism and that shame I felt was a fear of not being able to "belong". I like what I like and if what I like doesn't prey on someone else; why be ashamed of it ? The hard part is looking through our community and finding like minded folks in your area who gets it and you can also meet others who feel the same way and that broadens your horizons. We are weirdos who enjoy fat and why disown that ?

Easily.

Granted, i’m a known outlier amongst humanity. And an average-slender FA (not truly by choice), so i’m not proudly displaying my love of human body fat by personally wearing it.

Recently shared these on another site in our community, and they seem relevant here:

My primary care physician (at his office, paraphrased): “Shut uuuuuup about how much you love fat women already, OK?”

In the jury box, civil trial. Defense attorney is breaking the ice, asking each juror about our interests, hobbies, etc. When it was my turn to answer:

“I’m an unpublished writer of fatlovesex erotica/romance novels”, then went on to define fatlovesex.

Defense attorney, visibly uncomfortable: “Ohhh kaaay” with a smile, quickly moving on.

What i keep private is padding. I applaud those of you who pad and go out in public.

Total respect and appreciation for everyone sharing their reality here, however it may differ from my own.

I am sorry you had to experience that! I really don’t like being teased or shamed for being fat by anyone, much less for liking fat people!
It is very important to verify your feedee is aware of the potential health risk- both parties need to give full consent! Not all feeders are prepared to accept that this is a risky fetish.

It’s the biggest reason I haven’t actually experienced most of what I truly want with this fetish. When I tried out being a feeder it was embarrassing trying to figure out how to bring the topic up but once I realized I was actually a feedee things became even more stressful. I want to gain way more weight than where I am at right now but carrying around all that weight isn’t something you can just hide away like a feeder can with their kink. In both cases, it’s hard to take the feedism hat on and off so I think at some point I (and maybe you) need to just embrace the awkwardness of having a taboo aspect to our personality. It doesn’t have to define you though!