Fat experiences

So, lately my thoughts shifted to a girl from high school a few times. I know/knew her since kindergarten days. The more I think about it the more I question some things. That's why I'm interested in some other opinions.

The key memory which got this thinking going was when we were 15/16 years old. It was break in school, and we arrived at the classroom for the next lesson. I sat down in front of it. She then sat herself on my lap, although it was more like in front of me between my legs. She leaned back and I hugged her from behind. We stayed the whole break like that. So if I'm remembering right she initiated it. I'd say we were always pretty close, but at the same time also kinda distanced.

Anyway. Fast-forward a few years (the last years of school) we were very distanced. Only some neutral chatting when we encountered. I don't know how it got there, nor did I care or think about it in a serious manner. I've only had some thoughts in between. We were just friends. She had her ''gang'' and I mine. I couldn't really find liking in her ''gang'' same as she with mine, I think. That may be the reason. Who knows. At that time I'd have descibed her as a very cold personality. At least that's what I saw from her.

But now, a few years later, that I ''have the ability'' to think in a romantic and sexual manner, what I definitely didn't have at the age of 15/16 and also not with 17, I ask myself if there was more to it... From both of us...

Of course you can't really judge the situation, because you don't know the whole story and all the little bits and pieces, but I wanna hear what you have to say and gain some different perspectives from you who have different stories, different experiences and different lives.

Thanks for ''listening''.

Interesting question. It's tough to say. In reference to her sitting in your lap, was that specific to you, or did she also do that with other guys as well? If she just did that to you, then it was possibly her way of sending you a choosing signal, or expressing interest. Since you did not express any additional interest beyond holding her at that time, she most likely lost interest and moved on. Another possibility is that she just sat in between your legs for the free attention and validation. Girls will do that, and it's something you should be aware of.

Keep in mind that the average man's libido is about 9 times higher than the average woman's libido. Along with that is a tendency for men to overestimate women's interest in them. You could simply be reading too much into it.

It is a shame you didn't talk with her about this right then and there, instead of allowing years to go by. If you still have her contact information, and you know she's single, it might be worth asking her. If you know she is romantically involved with someone else, you're better off leaving this in the past and moving on with your life.

Life presents us with opportunities. The decision to act on those opportunities is up to you. Whether you act or take no action at all, you are stuck with the consequences of that decision. Keep that in mind the next time an opportunity presents itself.

I hope this helps.

To my knowledge she only did it with me, but only this one time. That it may have been a sign of affection is exactly that what I am thinking now.

From a biological standpoint it would make sense that the male libido is higher (e.g. look at apes). And I agree with the overastimation: ,,Men romanticise a relationship long before it is actually romantic in her head.'' That's a thing you should avoid.

It was less letting the opportunity passing by, but more the non-registration of the possible opportunity as a whole. At that age I did not have any sexual affection towards women. They were just another ''group of people'' in school, u know? I had other things in my mind; doing all kinds of fun stuff with my friends. But now, about 4 years later, I see it in a different light and the actions of her seem to me as potential signals.

I don't have her contact, but our parents know each other and they live in the same town. Though wouldn't that be kinda weird to show up again after all this time?

Yes, it would be weird to show up again after all this time. Perhaps you could find her on social media? I think that might work better. I have done that multiple times to find old friends and acquaintances. I even got in touch with an old girlfriend from elementary school, and it was great to get back in touch with her. I enjoyed learning about her life, and what she has been doing since we parted ways all those years ago.

Would this be an option for you?

Sure, why not. If I decide to do it. Have do some big search of course.

I would say it was one of those moments when two paths diverged. Had you followed up with more of a display of interest, you might have gone down another path. But at the time you didn't, and now those paths have moved far apart. It is a memory that you might always wonder about, but I'd say let the past be the past, and try to meet new people.

Never hurts to reach out. This reminds me of how I had a little kid crush on the fattest girl in class in 1st grade. She smelled strongly of BO and I once got dared by the cool kids to touch her butt and sit next to her, and I did lol. We kinda became friends and played video games together briefly. Her smell stuck to my couch for like a week after she was at my house and I remember being so obsessed with her smell. And then she moved away and went to a different school and we never saw each other again. A few years after graduating high school I reached out to her on Facebook and said I had a huge crush on her, and she said she had one too. We went to a few movies together and I put my arm around her and she burped a lot. We didn't end up dating as she was getting over a bad breakup at the time, but it was a very nice experience to share. And keep in mind this was from someone back in 1st grade! If your connection was in high school that's WAY more relevant.