Extreme obesity

I sometimes wonder why I want to get too fat to be able to do things. I never doubt or feel like I should stop, but just being fat doesn't really do much for me, my desires seem to be specifically tied to being TOO fat. It's weird that for example, I get a kick out of getting too fat to be able to do certain things anymore, particularly each time a new sexual thing/position becomes impossible. Knowing I'll never be able to do a certain thing again is just intoxicating to me.

I wonder why being so extremely
and restrictively obese is so enticing? Anyway, it's raining out so I guess I'll order food in. Gotta make more progress!

I too get carried away by my hunger, it's not bad, just a cardinal sin but since we are atheists we don't have to worry about it, only about eating like pigs.

Cheers!

Are you me? That's how I feel about it, part of it is that I cant just lose the weight instantly or maybe at all even if I tried