General

I have beem online for about 15 years or more. At first I liked making online friends. I know online is online, and it's not real. But it was a nice way of meeting people with different interests throughout the world. I'm married, so I am not looking for a date. Just friends and chat. (I have always prefered female friends.)

But I took a step back, and I am questioning if it was ever worth the effort. Even after discounting that a percentage of the people I talk to are fakes. Everything seems to fall into 2 categories.

1) People who seem like real friends. You chat with them for over a year. And then you go to send them an email and their account is closed. And months and years later, you never hear from them again. Like, even if they became homeless and lost their computer and ISP, couldn't they tell a friend to email their friends and explain it? It happens a lot when you lose contact.

2) People who have chatted with you for years (in one case 8 years), and then all of a sudden they ignore your IMs and emails. You sit there and wonder. Did I say something wrong? Why does my friend hate me so much? Why can't they just give me closure and TELL me why? It's not that I even want to continue being a friend. I just want to know why they stopped liking me.

It seems that now instead of chatting with my friends, I sit in front of the computer, listen to the radio, and read the paper. I watch my ex friends sign in and out on my buddy list, and I wonder why they won't talk with me.

Anyone else have these experiences? Or is it me?

Hi, John,

As for your first category--I lost a whole bunch of people who mattered to me when I got a virus through yahoo four years ago or so, and couldn't get back into my account to retrieve their addies or anything. I'm sure a lot of people with whom I would LOVE to be in touch think I'm a thoughtless insensitive jerk.

Sometimes, it might not be what it seems...?

I agree, u cannot hold someone else responsible for a loss of contact on the internet...

I prefer online friends, there isn't a lot of expectations. I tend to fail at real friends due to my disappearing acts that can last a few days to months where I become a complete hermit and just read, exercise or whatever I feel I need to do. Not only that, but women around here don't exactly interest me and the ones that do, already did... as in I've dated them and it fail stormed for one reason or another. Damn towns, everyone knows everyone around here.

Considering all of my off-line friendships have ended in betrayal or abandonment... I'd say they are completely worth the effort. Not all of my online friendships have turned out well, but they've certainly got a much, much, much better rate of loyalty and kinship for me.

I'd say they're worth it as well, but you have to be prepared for that day when you'll lose contact. Over the years I've had many good friends from various online games who were lost to the obscurity of time...I have some friends on my MSN list that I haven't talked to for years, but which I still see signing in and out as you described. It's fairly sad, and I feel nostalgia for the days when we had the good times, but there are always new people to meet out on the net. I don't hold much faith in actually meeting a girl over the net, because I have enough trouble as it is in real life, but it's still worth trying, I suppose.

If you think someone from your past is ignoring you, tell them you feel that way and ask them why. If they don't respond, DELETED. Simple as that. Although still depressing.

Ah, ZSNES... still superb even to this day. Though I find myself using Kega Fusion often for other things lately, I find.

There was this one girl I talked to on Myspace for a long time. I met her on there about 3 years ago, but it's been a few months since we talked. Either she drifted from me, or she has too many things to worry about. I'm sure she'll message me again. I try to, but she doesn't write back. Anything is possible. She lives a few states away from me, so I have doubts that I would ever meet her in person. Even if that were to happen, it would be stupid to blow a lot of money for a plane ticket to go and meet her.

OK, let me rephrase that to "May not be real."

I have encountered 600 pound women who wear size 18, 300 pound women who shop in the 5-7-9 shop, and a 1000 pound woman who likes to ride biclcyles daily.

If I did not consider them real after 7 years of friendship, then that might be a problem. My whole question, is whether it is worth it to care about an online friendship as much as a real life one, when the online people tend to disappear much more easily.

I would like to thank everyone who replied. Most people are concentrating on the disappearing people. I can understand things happen. Anything from a hard drive crash to a death.

However, what is much more frustrating to me is the other scenerio. People who are still online, but refuse to reply, even to say "it is over." I think when you have known someone for over 5 years, and have chatted at least several times a week, they can reply one more time. If I did something wrong, I want to know what it is to avoid it again. If it is facts beyond my control, it would make me feel better.