Is this your fetish, or paraphilia?

I believe this is a paraphilia for me. It does get weird since I am asexual, yet i stI'll have this paraphilia. This is the only way I can get any sexual gratification. Being a closet asexual and feeder(at least irl), it always gets weird when the girl I am with asks why I never get turned on and starts questioning me about this thing.
7 years