My recommendation would be go for it. Put on some weight and see how it feels. Don't worry about not being able to lose it. I'm sure that won't be a problem if you change your mind. When i started gaining weight many years ago i just loved the feeling and I wasn't actually trying to gain at that point. But after that i packed on about 80 pounds and regret not continuing on. You're young and these are the prime years for packing on the pounds. If you are a true gainer, you will love the experience, especially if you find a willing partner to help. That sadly is one thing i never did find and led me to lose the weight. But that was before the internet and sites like this.

I understand completely. While gaining weight can still feel pretty good alone, it goes to another level when you have a feeder to share journey with. The shared eroticism of the feedee, feeder relationship is awesome.

I've seen some of her Youtube clips. I think she claimed to be over 500 lbs, which seems about right. Don't know why she would feel the need to exaggerate. She is pretty and has a great body.

Chances are she's evaluating the relationship at this point to. Now that you've revealed your preference there's 2 scenarios at play here. At worst she now thinks you're a freak of some kind. At best she's now thinking you will no longer find her attractive if she loses weight. Neither option bodes well for the relationship. If you want it "really bad" your own frustration will just get worse over time. Maybe you can both pretend the subject never came up and go about your lives. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what we would do. None of us can pretend to understand the dynamics of your relationship.

On further reading i see i probably shouldn't have posted a response since i wasn't technically fat shamed. I apologize and only posted because i had the same thing happen and felt compelled to share. I wasn't trying to suggest the original poster was wrong to be angry, only that my reaction to a similar situation was different.

I had the same thing happen, only it was a co-worker (male) who poked my belly and said i needed to lose the gut. At that time, some 30 years ago i was experimenting with gaining and was about 70 pounds over weight. I have to admit it felt like a badge of honor, because i was always the skinny guy in school and hated it, so it felt kind of cool to finally be told i was fat. I had gained the weight during a long since over relationship. One night she told me her best friend had puffed out her cheeks and cupped her arms in front of her when i wasn't looking to indicate how fat i'd gotten. That actually turned me on big time.

When you say "blowing myself up like this" it sounds like you've already made that decision. Might as well continue on if it makes you happy. Enjoy the journey.

hi everyone..first time i've posted FF. i was reading an earlier thread about when you knew you wanted to be fat. i was going to reply, but i thought i had more to get off my chest on the subject. first of all i'm a 51 year old guy with a lifelong dream of being extremely fat. i've always been that way, whether it was stuffing pillows under my t-shirts or filling my shirts with slightly moist sand from the sandbox as a little boy. by the way the sand was messy, but it looked pretty realistic. my eyes were always drawn to fat people, men or women. i'm not gay or anything, but whenever i saw a guy with a huge gut, i always wished it was me. back then as a young man i was too self concious to get fat. too worried about all the negativity i would get from family and friends. looking back i think if the internet and sites like this one and others had been around i might have had the courage to go for it. but back in the mid seventies and early eighties i felt pretty much alone in the world. i wonder if my life might have been different had i gotten fat. would i have met a ffa without even realizing it, instead of the having a string of failed relationships with skinny women who liked thin guys. in my thirties i did finally start dating bbw's at least, not hiding that preference anymore. in my late thirties i finally opened up about my own desires to lady i was living with the past three years after i had gained some weight unintentionally. i admitted i liked the exta weight and at first she didn't have a problem with it. but as that 20 pounds changed to 60 pounds and i confessed i really wanted to gain another 100 to 150 pounds she freaked out and left, basically calling me a freak. after that i lost the weight i had gained, even though i really loved being kinda fat, because i thought i would never meet anyone if i was fat. i never gained the weight back and today i'm pretty average weight wise, gone thru another failed marriage and filled with regret about not being the fat man i wanted to be, yet still filled with desire to gain. sadly even with the internet i've never been able to meet a female feeder and i confess i'm just too scared to go it alone. i still think back to that time i gained 60+ pounds and i know if my girlfriend had been okay with it i would have been over 400 pounds within a few years. i'm so sad that did not happen. anyway, thanks for listening.