I'm sorry you think that my post was coming off as "woe is me" - that wasn't at all what I was trying to do when I made my post. If I was, what would I have to gain from doing so? I was just looking at the reality of the costs and I thought that I'm often guilty of just thinking of the fantasy most of the time. But when I can't get comfortable or can't afford the things I need, it becomes a very real reality. I was offering up the reality for me and trying to get insight from others on how they manage, so I could help make personal decisions and maybe help others realize that there are many expenses or help them prepare as they move up the scale in pounds.

My intention wasn't to whine and I think you make assumptions about who I am as a person when you make such accusations. I was just trying to be honest and straightforward. This is how I am or try to be with most things in life and what most people that know me online or otherwise would say that I am. I certainly wasn't trying to say that I was better then anyone else by stating that my income was decent. I was just trying to state that even with a better then average income, I can't make it work and I can't afford things. Not to brag. Not in the least.

A few other things I'd like to express in regards to your post:

I never said "I have all this money" - I don't. Even though I make a good salary, I live check to check like many/most people in this world. If I had "all this money", I wouldn't have even made the post I did - I'd just spend my day buying all the things that would enable me to be ginormous and beyond without a second thought.

I never said "I have all this food" - I have enough, but more is always good... right? I'm fat and I do like to eat. Hehe.

I never said "I own this website where I get a cut of the girls who post there." - but I do. I do own a website and I do partner with my models. I don't see why there is something wrong with this and honestly, what I do is not unique. I don't take advantage of my position or the people that work for me. If anything, my business model is industry standard with it comes to payouts.... Fat, skinny or whatever. Also, this is not my only job, not at all. Just to be clear (and I'm not whining) I also own/organize size positive events for longer then I've owned the sites, I also volunteer coordinate events like this too and lastly, I am a SQA Engineer. I no longer work in a big consulting firm like I used to as I'm too fat for the day to day of that anymore, but I still consult privately.

To further understand your apparent distaste for me, can I ask you why even if my sole income was from the model sites, what does that have to do with anything? Is being successful in that career path an issue? I'm so confused. I think you've something personal against me and besides a few random and distant IM conversations on Yahoo that I can't recall the subject of, I can't imagine why else.

In regards to the last part of your post, I never said "Oh but don't you try and get real fat because it cost's so much money...." - I did say that the cost of being that fat is something to be considered and that I think it's a huge expense that is not always discussed. If I had my weigh or way of it - there would be cake aplenty for anyone who wanted it and all the comforts they needed to be as fat as they wanted to be. So to repeat myself (I'm sorry), I was just having a serious conversation about the possible monetary snags. I'm apparently all for gaining, I've been purposefully gaining since my early childhood and I don't think my opinion or view on how that makes me feel happy/content/fulfilled will change anytime soon. I wouldn't begrudge anyone else that same feeling, but would I help them to possibly prepare? Sure. If anything, it might make their venture into super-fatdom an easier one? I am not sure, but I don't think my post should be perceived as negative.. which you obviously believe it was. In all honestly, I was just trying to share/get input from others so that I could make my own personal decisions. I meant no offense to anyone at all, especially you, someone I don't know

In closing, if you'd like to take the time to talk to me and let me know why you think so poorly of me and why you've made these assumptions without truly knowing me, I'd welcome a PM or email or even a post here. Because I'd very much like the opportunity (if you allowed it), to discuss them with you. Maybe then, you'd have the chance to know a bit about who I truly am and maybe your posts wouldn't be as they are or at least they'd be made based upon your actual knowledge of me as a person.

Maybe I will work on compiling a list of all the things I have as "special" stuff that I wouldn't need if I weren't very fat. I know my posting had a list of items that seemed extremely long, but there are so many things I left out that I didn't realize until I started consciously taking note after my initial post.

So yeah, I will see about compiling a list of things that I've had to acquire and the costs involved - in addition, the things that I need now and moving forward if I had to guess. Then others can maybe offer their insight on how to save money or alternatives to those expenses. That kind of information compiled as a group certainly can't hurt.

Thank you both

and also to Tubby, Aussie, Weeze Ed and others who have been supportive in this thread and via private message. I keep deciding whether or not I should have shared what I have, but I think that overall I'm still ok with doing so.

This is absolutely true. The cost of living where I reside is quite high. My rent alone is almost $2000 a month and it's an older home. I imagine I could get the same type of place in a less expensive area/state for 1/4 of that.


So very good point. I can't imagine what it would cost for me to actually live in NYC like you do. I would have been fine up until 450ish but now I'd need a place with an accessible shower/elevator and who knows what the bill for that would be!

No worries, I thought you were suggesting I model to make extra monies on the side. I do have more then just the one job running the sites. I was just confused why you were suggesting I model, when I know you know I do I thought maybe you had confused me with another.

But yes, modeling does help with extra monies. But as I mentioned in my original post - even with my job(s) - I can't seem to keep up with the expenses so the future and more fatter me with more needs.. is scary monetarily. For me at least, it seems others have worked it out other ways just fine.

Sure, you can email me if it's too personal for you - if not, I'm happy to answer it here if it would be helpful to others. It's completely up to you

I promise you, my intention wasn't to be snobby at all. I was trying to say that it's very expensive and to add relativity to that argument - I thought it necessary to explain that I do well and yet I can't keep up. I don't understand why you think that snobby and if it came off that way to you or anyone else, my apologies. It was and isn't my intention.

I'm not sure why this question was posed in this thread. I was just trying to discuss the financial stress of being super huge. I'm sure this topic among many others have been and need to be discussed/considered by gainers and their partners.

This might be a good idea moving forward. I should try to budget better or plan ahead. I just didn't realize that things would drastically change in a matter of 50ish pounds, but it has.

I also failed to mention that I not only run/support my own household, but my Mom's as well. I pay the rent/car/trash/etc for my Mom's home which is not cheap either It's my Mom, her husband and my little 12yo sister. I've tried having us all live together, but that didn't work out

So in total, I'm currently responsible for 6 adults, one tween and 4 dogs - this adds up. I should have taken that into consideration in my original post. Because some folks think it was for me to boast, which wasn't my intention at all More coming on that.

Hi Dee,

I'm sorry to hear about your poor health and I hope by the time I respond that things are looking up for you.

I wish I was able to budget as you do, because it seems you are able to live at your size without major expenses. I'm not sure if my discomfort is because of the way I'm built (I'm very short) or if it's just because I'm just not used to certain seats/bedding. Or maybe it's just growing pains for me, because getting this big and bigger is becoming more rapid as I get fatter. I'm not sure, but I respect and value your insight.

Whereas you don't have the same weekly income, your health insurance is providing you with the extra care you need without extra expense and this is good. Get all the help you can. I know that for me, having my lady come just a few hours a week is not enough. I also don't have the availability of sliding scales for my rent, etc. So I think the bulk of my costs go for that.

In addition, what you've mentioned about your last partner and your current makes a things a bit more clear for me - as I do have a partner who helps me but I don't allow him to help me with the "super fat" stuff because of guilt, because he's an FA but not a feeder/encourager so I find that I want to accommodate myself with outside paid help to lessen the guilt. I'm not sure. But I'm glad you have those around you willing to help out.

So it looks like you can make it work if you have health insurance assistance and low income resources. I just don't know that everyone has the same access to those or maybe not even the same resources where they live.

Bottom line is, it's still a tricky situation. But you have made it work in your situation - so I'm hopeful that I can in mine as well.

Thanks for posting!

Fat Hugs,
Heather