I am maybe not explaining it fully, but the way we do it now with the pull/assist is working but your points are completely valid.

As for the ramp, it won't work - it's a full flight of stairs - not just a few. I wish it were just a few

just a quick note to let people know I plan on responding to the replies since my last post - I've just been away running a weekend long event and trying to catch up on work/sleep/etc.

I didn't want people to think I bailed.

Fat Hugs,
Heather

Well it depends on the situation as a whole, but I can answer this in regards to my experiences.

These are expenses/things I do or have already:

For Travel/Shopping:

Scooter (I have a few)
Minivan (A larger sized model with extra room and with lift installed)
Travel Shower Seat/Showerhead/Reaching Aides/Bidet Attachment
Extra Plane Seats
Limited Hotels (They must be full service and have roll-in showers.)
Tip Money - I utilize lots of services from staff members and if they are going the extra mile for me due to my size, I tip them for their services.


Inside The Home:

I live in an over sized space to begin with or else I'd bump into everything. I luckily rent a home that has all the living areas on one level with larger doorways and over sized rooms.


Bathroom Stuff @ Home:

Oversized Walk-In Shower - Shower Seat - Reaching Aids - Bidet Attachement - Ottoman/Seating In Bathroom For Before/After Shower - Handheld Showerhead with good water pressure and centered spray.


Household Furniture & The Little Things:

All of my furniture is large or accommodates heavier weights. There are spots to sit and "rest" in between rooms because of walking distance issues.

I also have a 700lb rated lift chair to raise my legs and not break under my heavy weight. (Although it sucks because it assumes I'm 6ft tall and that's an issue because I'm far from it. Blah.)

I have a step bench to get into my bed and to be able to rest my feet flat when sitting on the side of the bed. This was special built to hold my weight.

I have a bazillion pillows on my bed so I can prop up. (But this isn't working anymore as I've gotten heavier.)

I have special order office chairs that are 30 inches wide in the seat. (I can't use them anymore though, I compute from my lift chair or couch.)

I have special built outdoor furniture benches, lounger and glider that go up to 800+ lbs.

Lots of larger sized snack tables for meals sitting on the couch and other places not at the regular dining table.


Additional Expenses:

Cleaning Lady - 1x weekly.
CNA/Helper Lady - 1x-2x weekly. (Helps do things I can't do including household organizatiomn/fetching/lotioning/shaving/etc.)
Food (Haha, we won't even go there - you get the idea.)
Clothes (These don't last long and it's a big process of trial and error to find things that fit and generally the good stuff costs big money.)

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Now, many of the things listed above were limitations or needs after I was say 450 and progressed as I got larger. For example, I can't fit in a regular tub/shower combination and haven't been able to properly since 475ish and I can't even fit in one at all now - it's a joke to even try.

Also, some of the things above I would have whether I was my current size or smaller - like a cleaning lady - I'm too huge for that stuff and have been for a long time.
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Now, the things that I am having become more necessary and can't keep up with expense wise:

I need my helper lady more then the 1 to 2 times per week that she comes for a couple of hours - it's just not enough. I need more personal care for my legs like lotioning/shaving help and such on a more regular basis.

I just recently hired a lady to come give me manicures and pedicures. This isn't just for vanity and not anyone can do them. Having healthy feet/nails are very important if you are fat. Legs/Feet are uber important things to pay attention to and keep well groomed for fear of possible infection. The manicure/nails things is for me to just have pretty nails. I had to have someone come in house because I'm just too fat to hoist into the chairs in the salon and even if I do manage it, I can't fit both my calves in the foot basin at the same time or hold my leg up long enough for them to gain access to my soles, etc.

I leave the house a lot less then I'd like and I have a scooter to use as legs to get me around places. Why then? The stairs! Even though all my living areas are on one level - I have to go down a flight or up a flight of stairs to get back to that level if I go out. Luckily, they are extra wide and carpeted with a sturdy railing - but still - I can barely do them and 80-90% of the time I am assisted by John pulling me up by the hand/forearm by pulling each time I take a step to hoist me up another. So I need a stair-lift and they are expensive - very much so.

My couches - well I don't have one that's not the "show" couch right now. I had to send the last purchase back. I need a electronic recline sofa and it has to have the extra wide seat (like a sofa split down the middle instead of three sections). Essentially the seat is like the size of a chair and a half. My last purchase was perfect, but I had it 10 days before I demolished the padding/cushions and frame under where my weight hit most. Luckily, this time I got my money back - but this couch was a replacement to a broken couch before it and that one was a replacement to a broken couch before that! I've been through 3-4 couches in less then 2 years. I'm not quite sure where to go from here.

My bed - the pillow propping just isn't working anymore. I wake in the night half askew with different body parts that have completely fallen asleep or lost blood circulation due to me weight bearing on it awkwardly. Now this is an expensive bed that I bought to accommodate my weight. It was about $2000 but that's not enough anymore. I need a bed that lifts at the head and feet. Those sell to the tune of $3500-$6000 dollars.

The above two are the big scary expenses - but I know there are more. I think I'll need more then just a standard lift on my minivan moving forward and maybe a lift seat that lowers and then lifts me into the van - a larger van if I get a hundred or two hundred lbs heavier.

Now you ask, what the hell am I thinking trying to leave the house at over 650-700+ lbs - well because I would want to be able to as much as I can - with the aids to allow it to happen. I need to go to doctor appointments, family gatherings, etc. I will not give those things up just because I'm immobile. Unless I'm blissfully trapped under 1000+ lbs of blubber - I expect to get shit done inside and outside of the house until that stage.

Oh, I forgot shoes - haha - I can't get any that fit anymore. This wasn't a problem until the last 100 lbs. It's a joke and if my feet aren't swollen I can get into some shoes - but it's become a huge challenge. I am going to have to go to a cobbler.

I feel like I've just overexposed myself in blabbing all this out and I'm not even sure I've answered your questions properly by doing so. But I hope this gives a little insight.

But to wrap this all up, I realize some of these things are comfort items I could do without. I could just lay in bed and get used to the discomfort - but I feel like I want/need/desire/deserve all these simple comforts and shouldn't be denied myself them just because I'm massive.

So the morale of the story is... being huge is definitely a "luxury item". So if you can't afford a luxury car, you can't afford to be a luxury sized lady or have one as a partner.

I'm confused by this question... I own a BBW modeling site online and that is what I do for a living already....

Just a quick note that I wanted to make because I don't see it mentioned often and I think it's worth mentioning to those who are potentially gaining to extreme weights either on their own or with a partner.. that it's ridiculously expensive!

The costs add up and I think it's important that you prepare for the reality and costs once you are up and over a certain mark.

I know that since I've crested 500 and as I creep closer to 600, that my expenses and needs have doubled and tripled within a short weight/time. It's almost overwhelming and of course, the extremist in me is turned on by the fact that it's so ridiculously costly as with any struggle related to me being absolutely massive. But... my checkbook isn't turned on whatsoever.

I earn more then a decent living and probably a great deal more than the average couple combined and I can't keep up. That makes me wonder what other people do and/or have considered as a solution or if they just throw in the towel on continuing to gain.

For myself, I pretty much have come to a crossroads where I'm deciding if I have to take a break indefinitely until I build up a fat nest egg or continue on without all the comforts I need/am used to/deserve. Some of them are simple comforts.. like being.. comfortable! ie. a place to sit that is sturdy enough not to keep needing replacement and an adjustable bed that will allow me to lie in bed and raise my legs or head.

I have to tell you.. it's been a very tough time for me in trying to make a decision as to what to do and I've yet to be able to make a solid decision. Haha, if I do.. it changes daily or hourly. I keep switching between wanting to be selfish and not worrying about the cost/consequence and pausing/losing a little so that the control freak in me and my inability to let a situation go to a point where I don't have it managed and in order is satisfied. It's almost like trying to choose which limb or sense I can live without. Because up to recently, I've been able to pull it all together without compromising at all.

So, comfort/accountability or my desires/sexuality? What will win in the end and why must I choose?

I pretty much have no control over my desires to be fat and fatter.. I think that's fairly apparent (and don't feel bad for me at all - I embrace and dig it a great deal), but I do have control over how I proceed. So far, my desire to be fatter has always won out, but now that it's become a burden where it will affect my ability to be comfortable and to care for others that depend on me, I don't know that it will.




Anyway, I ended up making this immensely personal and related to me. But I thought it was an important thing to discuss. The monetary factor and the costs involved. I know that there are other concerns involved with gaining to my size and further into immobility that should also be considered when making a decision to alter your body to such extremes, but for me, they've never been a hindrance - this is the first time in my fat journey where I've stopped and given pause for even a moment or second thought. That being said, I'm curious if this is a wall other people have hit or consider and how do you deal with it or consider your options or get past it?

In a fantasy world, there would be fat castles and wealthy feeders to build them. They will be fully staffed and stocked with food and all the comforts needed... but I don't live on that planet and until I do, I'm forced to choose a path - neither of which are ideal and that just makes me incredibly... (I can't really find the word)... lost?

Haha, so much for a quick note and for making it so serious. But maybe sharing on this personal of a level and getting feedback from others will allow me to be able to make a choice with more insight instead of just flipping a coin in my head like I've currently been doing for months.

Thanks for reading and mucho hugs,
Heather

Indeed it was SophieBBW and being she is a personal friend I think if there is anything unkind about this thread, it's your statement about her "cut" being unkind.

Sophie is and was one of the proudest fatties I know. One who taught me to embrace who I am (a woman obsessed to be the fattest girl ever) and to live life at any size. She is actually the most fat forward person I know to date. Unfortunately, she became very unhealthy and unable to take even the simplest care for herself. It was beyond immobility and she had 24/7 care by her Mother.

If Sophie actually had an FA or a partner that helped care for her as she grew bigger, maybe it wouldn't have gotten so nutty hard for her. She was fine being over 600 lbs and even find with being bed bound - but her guilt for having to have her elder Mother care for her became too much.

So just because she got the lapband doesn't make her or her actions unkind.

This is VERY wrong based on the women I know... and I know many women. Not that you are agreeing at all, just posting just on case a new to the sex scene guys reads this and learns fail info

Some folks have given great advice and some not so great

I say the most important thing is that their is communication. Whether you are fat, skinny or otherwise - people sometimes forget that key ingredient. Also, note that penetration is not the only part of sex and if you aren't able to work it out the first time around, remember your hands/mouth/brain are very key to sexy/fun/awesome sex.

I've gained significantly since my first sexual encounter at 18 when I was about 250lbs to now where I am over 550lbs. There is definitely more to navigate now, but for me (and hopefully for the partner I am with) that's the fun part and a bonus.

But just to get it out there: I can still have vaginal sex and I don't foresee it being a problem in even a 100+ lbs more. I'd like to add, that this includes different size "packages". My two partners over the last 4+ years are both very different in size, one is very large and one is just under average. It works just fine with both and it doesn't determine the pleasure/orgasm for me.

So anyhoo, if you are worried - that's fairly natural. Just try to be yourself, openly communicate and be sure to ask her what feels good and so on. It might take time to lead to comfort and pleasure, but the journey sure is fun.

P.S. To the poster who stated that if it feels good for you, that it'll feel good for her.. this is wrong. We might get off on the fact that you are enjoying yourself, but we might not lead to us having our "happy time", so be sure she has hers too.

Hrm.. was this for me?