It's very insightful, and also an important discussion. I also don't think there's a wrong answer - even the closeted FA who only likes fat when they're in a kink mood have a right to exist, because it's not their fault the way they are. It is if they lead people on, but attraction is complex and so is fear of being judged socially.

It is far easier to be an FA/feeder than it is to be a fat person. Living in a society that is not exactly fatphobic but where people my size are rather rare, it's staggering how little of society is adapted to my body and those like mine. We cannot turn off the effects the kink has had on us, be they societal, health-related or even just matters of being comfortable. All we can do, and we should do it, is to make sure we're treated with respect by the people around us. For me, that's enough, and I don't think I'd enjoy dating someone who wanted to hide me away (unless it was part of a teasing thing). I've definitely ended interactions with feeders who do not make me feel attractive because of my fat and I really, really treasure the memories of those that have made me feel good about myself.

It is true, what Cookie says, that other people's validation shouldn't be so central, but I also disagree a little about it. We do live in a society and our brains are built to function with others. Being alone is physically harmful and feeling alone with people who are supposed to respect and care for you can be downright lethal. We may not need any one individual, but we do need others. It is valid to feel bad about not having a relationship when one wants a relationship, and to feel bad about friends and family not understanding your reality. The solution, of course, is to act in such a way that you get friends who understand your reality and the relationship you want - you cannot be passive simply because you deserve these things. But not having it hurts, and that's okay that it does.

I am planning a trip within Europe (from Sweden to France, specifically). I'm definitely large enough by now that I'll need to buy two seats. Air France seems to have the best policy for that, but since there's a connecting flight, I'm wondering how feasible that is? If the first one is delayed or something happens to the second one, I fear I might not get my two seats next to eachother, thereby making the purchase useless. Is this an actual risk?

Further, I was planning to go for an Airbnb so that I have access to a kitchen. Furniture belonging to my friends can usually hold me, but I have to be very careful with it, more careful than I'd want to be in a place where I'm staying for several days (I don't mind being hypervigilant about the furniture for a while but not for days on end). Is it reasonable to imagine the average Airbnb host in France is able to accomodate a man just shy of 400 lbs?

So, I work in a mall and mall staff, even those working in offices, have discounts at the local buffet. The owner of the buffet is looking at taking away staff discounts because of how much food is being consumed... He didn't say this to anyone but me, though.

Hi! Definitely interested in that type of arrangement!

For me, I had to gain to know. I've hated my feedee side profusely, thinking it abominable. Gaining weight brought me such a sense of inner peace and even though I sometimes still wish I could lose it, I would never, ever want to be without the experience. It would have eaten me alive, no pun intended, if I hadn't indulged it. I've seen that here, too. Trying to fight it only makes it more extreme, in many cases.

That being said, it is a huge step and there will be consequences. Losing is hard and your experience isn't necessarily mine. There's also a very big difference in my mind between a chubby body (which I mostly felt bad about) and a fat body (which I really love). I would recommend experimenting, especially with fat women, and if you can find a therapist you can trust, work with them, too.

Best of luck out there.

People can get used to the weirdest things. Just give them a few months and it'll be like the new normal for them, hopefully.