Also the Santa movie where he is gaining weight super fast was probably the first time I felt turned on lol

My family is pretty fatphobic and for me I think that there was something subversively sexy about weight gain as a result.

I got the social gainer! It's kind of funny because I'm not really gaining these days but it's certainly what I fantasize about more than anything.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2936436/

Here is real life experiment with a modest sample of 18 people who ate a bunch of fast food to intentionally gain weight for science. I personally find this very hot to just read for fun but you might find it genuinely helpful. On average participants' BMI increased from 21.8 to 24 during the pigging out phase. When they went back to normal life, they initially lost about half the weight they gained, but by two years later they were almost the same size as their fattest, which was still not overweight.

This suggests that yes, gaining 10-15 lbs is likely to shift your set point up a bit metabolically. If you want to go back to your starting weight and maintain that long term, you might find that harder to do. It's also likely that there is some selection bias here because the only people who would consent to be human subjects in a fattening experiment don't mind the idea of gaining weight. So maybe the people in this study either intentionally kept the weight or just didn't really try to lose it.

On the other hand, if your concern is harm to your health as opposed to being just a bit thicker than you started, it's probably not a huge difference but everyone is different. No matter your size, you can try to stay active and eat lots of plants and minimal sugar.

if anyone gives you side eye just explain you're carb loading

They're wondering when you're going to notice that you bulked way too hard. You had abs so recently and now you're lugging around a big gut!

I mean for me in my relationship both of our weights fluctuate. I am thinner than when we met but fatter than three months ago. I'm the one into weight gain, but he's into turning me on so he's really happy to indulge my fantasies in the bedroom while trying to stay healthy otherwise. He's always been fatter and for him staying healthy is more about keeping his sugar intake down and being moderately active than being thin.

If you think he might be receptive, maybe talk to your husband about your interests, and how they could be indulged in fantasy. Would you enjoy role playing that one of you got fat? It sounds like you're not actually fat but maybe just no longer underweight?

I also used to have an ED, and for me this fetish was totally a way to eroticize my shame around food and letting go of being underweight. I think it helped my recovery to stop resisting that. After recovering and getting fat for a few years, I can now actually intuitively regulate my weight without being super obsessive and miserable about it. I'm not as skinny as I used to be but I'm technically a normal weight now and I'm pretty comfortable with that.

Just think of the pitying and judgemental stares from people seeing for themselves how you can't out exercise a bad diet.

Another iteration of this would be to bring snacks to the gym, clearly eating more than you're burning.

You must be so embarrassed to be seen by people who knew you just like six months ago. Don't you notice their eyes flicking between your face and your gut? They must pity you for ruining you body so quickly.