Fatgirlbelly:
The thing I’m still conflicted about most from the fat person perspective is that we ARE the kink. We can’t switch off or put it away. I find it hard to understand how we are perceived outside just the kink space so wanted to start a discussion but finding it hard to articulate so bear with me!
For example, from an appreciator’s point of view living in a “normal” body - does your attraction change based on your mindset? Like will you find us attractive one day and a “fat girl you wouldn’t go near” until the kink invaded your brain again, the next? Does that make sense? Or does it depend?
I think because until recently, I have changed my mind so many times! Liking it on myself one minute and hating it the next- so it’s what I assume others feel towards us.
It’s something I haven’t got a gauge on or seen discussed much so wanted to see people’s thoughts and opinions. I’m very likely overthinking it but I’m AUDHD and love to have clear understandings of these things.
I think sometimes I feel like a novelty, and that diminishes who I am as a whole. If that’s what you’re after absolutely fine! And the moment can call for that for sure. But other times I’d like to just feel hot without the caveat of “just for now - not later”
Hope this makes sense!
Thank you for sharing this; it’s such an important and complex topic. Reading your post, I wanted to offer a slightly different perspective that might ease that feeling of being 'just a kink' or a passing trend.
Speaking for myself, my attraction to fat women existed long before I even knew there was a definition for it as a 'kink' or that a community even existed. For me, it’s simply what is beautiful and attractive, just like someone else might be into a certain hair color or height. This attraction isn't a 'mindset' that switches on and off, and it’s not something I have to 'get into' to find you hot, it’s just a fundamental part of my taste and identity.
Furthermore, as someone who actually wants to gain weight myself (a gainer), I see a beauty and comfort in fat bodies that is irreplaceable. It’s definitely not a 'novelty' or a momentary objectification for me' it’s the type of body I admire, love, and want to inhabit myself.
I completely understand the fear of feeling like a 'curiosity,' but I want you to know there are people whose attraction is consistent and deep-rooted. They see you as hot simply because you are, without any caveats and regardless of whether they are in a 'kink space' at that moment or not. To them, you aren't just the kink, you are simply the standard of beauty.