Quite so. BDSM meshes nicely with feederism, and I've always found that my desire to adore and pamper a woman goes hand in hand with my desire for dominance. And I definitely enjoy the element of increasing helplessness and dependency which goes along with the feedee's increasing fatness. There's something conquest-like about it.

One interesting thing I might add is that there are some folks who view it the other way around, and a feeder can also be a submissive who obeys the feedee's commands. In general, however, I think the feeder role is better suited to the dominant party.

If I can offer my perspective, I don't think they're necessarily incompatible. Feminism enables you to fulfill that craving out of your own free will with the man you choose to do it with, instead of having it forced on you as a lifestyle by men you don't want to do that with.

You certainly wouldn't be the first feminist who craves domination by a man of her choosing. :-P

I don't know of any sites specifically devoted to BBW/BHM that allow free messaging, but OKCupid has a lot of people and allows free messaging. It's one of the most well-known applications that does so, to the best of my knowledge. I've talked to a few big girls on there before, although it didn't go anywhere.

If you're willing to spend money, Match.com has a huge user base which is generally looking for long-term relationships. Same with Plenty of Fish. There aren't many others that come to mind at the moment.

If you find any, be sure to let us know!