It's been years but I recall once reading an article that said that in the U.S., the average amount of weight gained for a traditional freshman (that is, 18 years old, just out of high school, enrolled full-time) was 6 lbs, and I think around an additional 3-4 lbs for sophomore year.

So, sorry to burst some bubbles.

Of course, that's an average. Some, lose weight.

Others, there's no statistically significant change.

And yeah, there's some who pack on a little, or even a lot.

What happens, and whether it does, likely depends on a great many things. The only constant is that transition from high school to college is a major one, where almost everything changes and disrupted.

Your day to day schedule changes dramatically. The town and where you live might have changed dramatically. Even the courses are different. If you have a job, that too is likely to be different. Even if you work at the same chain business, the layout of the store will be different as would be most if not all of your coworkers.

While there are other possible life events that might be comparable in terms of sheer disruption, these other events are not as likely to be experienced by most.

I can't say I've thought about it in exactly that way before. But it makes sense.

Crossing across these "zones" as you call them, can result in substantial lifestyle change. That is an enormous ask that I'm not sure anyone can really ask. Even if such an ask is made, I don't think anyone is entitled to it.

For example, suppose someone really, really enjoys playing volleyball, or going hiking and being in nature. Suppose also for that someone, it's a primary source of enjoyment and entertainment, which for some folks, it is. Some even like to run marathons, for reasons I don't really understand and is a view I don't personally share.

If this person were to cross into the supersize zone, this person would have to give that up. This source of enjoyment will no longer be available. Depending on the person, this could result in depression and misery. I would not want to wish that on anyone, and perhaps you don't either.

Someone already above that size, has likely already made peace with it or accepted it, or was never that interested in such activities the first place.

Lifestyle changes aside, it can also result in substantial change in public perception, which the individual might not be ready or prepared for. That too can be a big ask.

In way, it's at least in part why in real life, from a point of practicality and feasibility, I tend to prefer individuals who are already quite fat or at least, beyond these thresholds. Such questions, big asks, and potential crisis in identity, don't arise.

I could also see it as a matter of respect. To highlight that, I'll present an example that doesn't have to do with weight or size at all.

Sometimes, I like to play video games, albeit primarily single player. They don't overwhelm my life, or have a meaningfully negative impact on me. It's not always logical, and often have no practical value beyond entertainment.

I can go awhile without playing video games if a situation calls for it. If I play a multiplayer game, I'll give it my best shot, but if I lose, I don't take it seriously because it's just not that important at the end of the day. I won't do the digital equivalent of flipping the board by throwing a tantrum from losing. If it's not convenient to play a game, I'll save and then pick up where I left off before.

I think you get the idea. However, it is something I do enjoy, and I'll probably always play some video games for the rest of my life.

But apparently, some don't like that, and don't think I should play them at all. I don't know if it's because of stereotypes of preconceived misconceptions, but it doesn't matter. If a woman were to tell me to never play them anymore, I'm telling her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Why? It's all about respect.

This doesn't apply to just video games, it applies to just about anything else. Playing music, making art, writing, gardening, being a gearhead/working on cars (which actually has practical value), etc.

No one likes it when others try to substantially change them, and such relationships nearly always end badly. It's all about respect. Note this is not the same as compromise, having conversations, and working something out, a hallmark of any good, healthy relationship.

Not wanting to put someone into another "zone" because of the changes this could require, some of which might be unacceptable to the person, makes perfect sense.

No worries There is a specific board for personals ads, which this reads like.

Moving it there.

Substantial misrepresentation, or catfishing is also unacceptable and is a potentially ban worthy offense. While they might not being trying to scam you out of money, they often engage in the same kind of behavior. In some ways, it might even be worse, since this is what predators may do.

Certain amounts of fudging is acceptable and even expected. Examples include, but not necessarily limited to might be:

- Height is off by an inch or so.
- Weight is not expected to be up to the day or minute accurate. If you don't want to say, you can use an extreme that clearly doesn't fit the pictures provided (e.g. 100 lbs or 800 lbs).
- You aren't expected to answer income or occupation, etc.
- Location doesn't have to be entirely accurate. It's accepted, even expected that users who don't live in a large city, will often choose the nearest larger city or metro area as a balance between privacy as opposed to cultural and potential meet-up purposes.
- Any pictures of you, if provided, are expected to closely represent what you look like now, or properly represented to mean this is what you looked like in the past.
- No one is expected to potentially highlight negative traits.

I think you get the idea.

This is in contrast to substantial misrepresentation. Where if you were to somehow meet this person face to face, the individual is nothing at all like you expected. Examples of this include:

- Images that look nothing at all like the person, and aren't labeled as such, or it's not immediately obvious it's not.
- Age being incorrect. You can use an extreme outlier if you don't want to answer.
- A male pretending to be female, or vice versa. If you don't want to answer, you can set it to "other." We do recognize that some individuals could discover being trans, but that's why the options of "trans-woman" and "trans-man" exists.
- Pretending to live in another country.

These policies are in place to protect not just you, but both parties in fact. Not to mention, it saves time in case it means you aren't each others' type.

After all, suppose you do ultimately meet the person face to face? What do you think will happen? At best, one person might get up and leave immediately, or might perhaps say something like "Get the fuck out of here, right now." At worst, it could result in severe physical altercation, significant injury, and the police potentially getting involved.

Roleplay isn't prohibited, but you don't have to misrepresent your profile to engage in it, and agree to certain parameters before commencing.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

However, if you do come across scammers, please report them.

Side note: I'm a man.

And no, at no point did I say all skinny women are bitches. I would never say such a thing, I've never said such a thing.

As an aside, my mother is a small woman, and she's anything but a bitch. Sure, in retrospect I think she made some mistakes, but her heart was always in the right place and I thought she tried to do the best she could, knowing what she knew.

Whether that teacher was skinny or fat, I would have thought she was bitchy anyway. At the time, her physical size had nothing to do with it, but just so happened to be skinny.

I must be abundantly clear on the following point. As a general rule, I would never call or deem someone a "bitch," or an "asshole" until that individual has done something to me, or possibly to others to ultimately earn that title, particularly if that individual refuses to be reasonable and there's an ongoing pattern that won't cease.

That, is a very far cry from the stereotypical frat-boy attitude where women in general are referred to as bitches like they're just meat and something to have sex with. Or the misogynistic He-man Women Haters Club attitude of how they're supposedly all conniving and evil for no other reason for having been born with two X chromosomes. Either of those, I consider a disgusting attitude that should remain in the 20th century, although in some places it seems to persist.

Perhaps this is the kind of response Kitsune was looking for, were he still here and hadn't deleted his account.



I sense that you are asking for context, I just hope you like the answer. I also hope you read the above section.

I was 5 years old, and this was the kindergarten teacher who I considered a bit of a bitch. It was so long ago, the Soviet Union was still around.

I don't remember much from that year, but I vaguely remember it was strong dislike that eventually devolved into hate. I don't think she liked me very much either, as if I was a pain in the ass she was forced to tolerate. There is however, one day that really stuck out to me.

One day, I guess was some sort of arts & crafts activity, and the assignment was to make a picture of a log cabin from the supplies provided, I think maybe because the topic earlier that day was Abraham Lincoln. The supplies consisted of construction paper of various colors, scissors, glue, tape, markers/pencils/pens, and.. straight shaped pretzel sticks that I guess were supposed to be the "logs."

5 year old me.. I ate the pretzel sticks, thinking they were supposed to be a snack. The teacher didn't point out they were intended for the assignment. When I figured it out, seeing what the other kids were doing, I asked for more pretzel sticks. She basically said "too bad, so sad, tough shit, suck it up." (not literally, but that's the gist) No apologies. I felt mislead, humiliated, and angry. At that age, that shit really stings - still does.

I tried to complete the assignment as best I could despite that, and tried to kind of make it up to look like the inside of the cabin. But I have no idea if anyone else picked up on it. It was easily the worst one.

Back then, of course I didn't have much life experience, didn't really understand nuance. Was I being fair? I don't know. The teacher seemed bitchy to me.

Overall, it was apparently bad enough, my parents moved to another house to change school districts.

I'll also point out that a preschool teacher I had, she was fat and she seemed nice, as did many others who were fat.

The school bus driver I had during kindergarten, she was also fat and one day she took all of us kids out for ice cream.

Santa Claus is also always portrayed as fat.

Was this logical? No, probably not. But 5 year olds aren't really known for being the most logical. I've often thought back and wondered where my preference for fat people came from, but I can't think of any one particular event.

Eventually, I would meet more counterexamples. Some skinny people who were actually nice, and some fat people who sadly weren't so nice. But maybe by that point the association was established.

I hope this clear things up, and sorry for the long post.