I can completely relate to the ambivalent feelings of wanting to have your body subsumed in fat, and then wanting your old body back, with intense feelings that push you in either way, it can be a real whirlwind. From experience, I can tell you it wont go away, so after a while I thought, if I'm gonna be this ambivalent about my body no matter my size, why not explore my own desires. I then found out that the fatter I got, I have fewer moments of regret. Of course, the only thing that matter is if you're happy with yourself!

I was just curious if any FF members could speak to any discrimination they may have faced in the workplace. As I think about continuing to put on weight, this is usually an area of anxiety for me. Are you treated differently if you move beyond 300 pounds?

I used to run 14 miles every other day and lift weights for about an hour on days I didn't run. Needless to say, my body burned off whatever went into it.

At my height of running I was around 155, and now I'm around 215. Now that spring is here I've been running about 30 minutes or so every other day. I found that I had to make gradual changes or my body, purely out of habit, would revolt. I starting running less often and for shorter distances while also testing the limits of my stomach. I think for habitual runners, if you cut down too quickly on running, you'll find you're legs get really antsy and your body will miss the rush of endorphins. I would recommend gradual changes until you're at the lifestyle you want.

Hey Voluptuouslover, you've mentioned that you've done this a few times where you'll gain and then lose it all. I can completely relate to the stages you've outlined. I find it incredibly arousing seeing the difference in what a typical meal has become after a few months of pushing my limits. I'm just wondering, what encourages you to lose it all? I've put on about 40 pounds since last fall, and now that summer is out, I'm sort of getting a bit insecure, tempted to reverse these hard-won gains.

Over this past winter I've managed to put on about 30 pounds or so. The cold temperatures make you want to stay inside under a blanket eating the day away, and the day getting dark so early reinforces a sedentary lifestyle.

Every spring for years I used to run outside and now with the change in seasons, the smell of the air, more sunlight, etc. my mind and body are getting signals from the environment to get super active! It really puts a drag on the weight gain.

Anyone else experience this as spring comes rolling around?

Good luck! It can be nerve-wracking but well worth it. Keep us posted how it goes!

Could you send that my way as well, please?

Late to the party... just wondering how this turned out.

Where do you go? I've tried the old fashioned but I didn't think they were that great.

I couldn't agree more! Madison is definitely a foodie city, so many great restaurants (Hurray Old Fashioned). And the dairy in this state - ice cream for one - is just amazing. I'm heading up to Appleton for an internship this summer and I'm curious to see what I find up there.