Oh, well I recommend you have a look, it's pretty cheap, of a good size and unlike Spoons you can tell they have actually cooked it rather than just stuck it in the microwave! Still not the highest quality pub grub mind, but then round these parts every landlord and their dog has gastropubs pretensions.

I've eaten the mixed grill a few times, it's large but not all that nice. If you want something comprable www.sizzlingpubs.co.uk/ the food at these places is much better.

I likes him because of the above.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they smell.

*pulls some hair and rides away on a yellow wheetabix lorry*

I got drunk and awkward in the pub, it appears I wrote a poem, obviously this needed to be shared with the internet, because otherwise, I'd not have the opportunity to cringe.

/indulgence

They call me soft around the middle,
I really couldn't give a piddle,
when my hands are cold sometimes I fiddle,
It's warm and squishy to the touch,
not that foreign hands explore me much,
I love my food, I like a drink,
when I have too much my cheeks go pink,
and this is often when I think,
just who are they indeed to judge,
quite what should happen to my pudge.

I'm a brilliant BF when drunk, I do all sorts of caring, compassionate, sponataneous things. I also always try to bring things back home, sometimes it's a doorstop, sometimes a candle, if you are really lucky I'll bring back a Sombrero.

So yeah, FA's are definately better BF's and not just because I am drunk, it's a fact of life.

I've been holding off on this one for sometime. But I reached a level of rage that meant I could internalise it no longer.

Background

I've been unable to work for a sometime, due to a variety of mental health issues. As I have been unemployed I have been willing to pick up a little of the slack in the cleaning of communal areas, as everyone else has been a lot busier than I. I am the type to always clean up after myself in any shared space (my room is a different kettle of fish, but meh, it's my room and I know where everything is), as doing so makes it a nicer place for your roomies and their guests to be.

I live in a houseshare, have done for the last 3 years. Originally 3 of us moved in, we had all known each other for years and I considered both of them very good friends. I was the baby of the bunch being 5 years younger than T and 10 younger than J. After a year J had enough of T and his behaviour regarding the house. J eventually moved out but only after spending another 6 months sniping and bitching about T to me trying to get me to take sides (I was having none of this) J's frustration resulted in him calling T some very nasty things (the best accusation involved some inappropriate fancying of young girls) cue 6 months of poisonous atmosphere before J finally left and moved in with his GF and his place was taken by a couple that myself and the remaining sharer knew.

The new couple I live with are a little messy, a few empty bottles/glasses left around and the odd pan left in the kitchen for at most 24 hours. I don't mind spending 5 minutes a day doing a bit of extra cleaning/tidying as they are busy folk working very hard in fairly low wage jobs trying to get somewhere in life.


Gripes around the house.

Kitchen

So when I cook, everything is washed up and left in a neat organised pile on the drainer, the sink is emptied and scrubbed so not full of grease or food matter, crockery goes in the dishwasher, recycling gets put into the recycling boxes (under one of the worktops) and the work surfaces that have been used get wiped and disinfected and any leftovers go into the fridge either in boxes or wrapped up in clingfilm/kitchen foil and once a week (on bin night) I go through the fridge to remove anything that has gone past it's use by date.

T loves to cook and does so every night, but owns no cookware other than a lasagne dish and a wok, as someone who spent 5 years working in catering I have amassed a fair collection and am happy to have it used responsibly. He spends a minimum of 2 hours in the kitchen every night, uses pretty much everything in the kitchen most nights too and then just leaves it, usually for several days, if not more like a week until either I have to do the washing up to cook some food for myself or someone says something to him and he says it's only been there since the night before. The kitchen smells, has loads of rotting food in the fridge and on the sides.

Living Room

T spends every night he has free, sprawled on the Sofa, he gets in from work, skins up and stays there chain smoking joints until he gets hungry at about 11pm. He cooks for guests every night of the week, none of which ever tidy up after themselves, keep me awake with shouting until the piss off after he has fallen asleep and as a result every morning the living room needs tidying up, if I am to use it. Usually I have to get the hoover out to remove the contents of a spilt ashtray or two that T has knocked over on his way up to bed (he usually passes out on the sofa and heads up to bed around 5 am and sleeps off his stupor until 11 am or so)

Whenever I ask a friend over (not very often these days, because it is clear they are a nuissance and an obsatcle) to take their rubbish out of the shared areas and either put it in the recycling or if they are being lazy at least in the bin and to put any plates, glasses in the dishwasher.

Bathroom

When I shave, the sink is cleaned and declogged, when I brush my teeth the sink has any spittle and toothpaste residue rinsed away, the loo gets brushed and bleached, the cardboard tubes from loo paper find their way into the bin, the shower gets a wipe down and the door squeegied, empty showergel/shampoo containers get taken to the plastic recycling box.

It's safe to say none of these things get done by T.

T's character.

It is impossible to have a conversation with T about these things he knows how to argue very well (his Mum is a Politics lecturer and his family had a nightly debate over the dinner table), he talks over you and generally won't allow you to get a word in, even after 5 minutes of monologue if you try to counter one of his 15 points he still has more to say and get's very testy at people having the audacity to interrupt him.

EVERYTHING is crap or stupid, music, films, food, drink, ideas. You have to agree with his opinion or else you just get argued with until you appear to come round to his way of thinking.

He won't accept that there could benefits from a monthly 30 minute long house meeting because as adults we should be able to run a functional house without communicating at all about house issues. I particularly enjoyed the experience of trying to get our utility bills lowered by switching provider and by trying to get a joint account set up that we could pay into so that we could save nearly £500 per year by paying by via direct debit only to be told it wasn't feasible, was a stupid idea because it involved some effort and then 6 months later to have him suggest it and calling the rest of us idiots for not putting any effort into trying to save money.

I really could go on, but I don't want to be angry and bitter for any more time today. That really isn't my character at all, but there is only so much frustration and undermining one can stomach before it spills out.

I'm really very unhappy and at the moment have no way out of the situation. Lets leave it at that.

The explosive kegs inbetween his legs.