chapter 16

Simon's doctor's appointment was not for another week. That gave him ample time to check up the signs and symptoms of his ailment.
At the doctors' he explained most eloquently about his complaint. When the doctor examined him, he winced and complained of pain in all the right places, but in actual fact, there was nothing wrong.
The doctor diagnosed sciatica. He was making an urgent referral to physio. He gave him a prescription for opioids and paracetamol and urged that he rest, which would mean a six week break from work. He wrote out the sick note for him.
The doctor did not know for certain that was what the problem was, but it was typical of a nurse to have cumulative damage to the spine over a long period of time. He also could not help but think thank Simon's weight had something to do with it. He was carrying so much fat around his middle and him his belly that it was bound to affect his centre of gravity and pull on his spine.
He referred him to a dietitian for weight loss advice. Six weeks concentrated dieting could result in a decent weight loss that might be the only treatment he needed for his bad back.

Simon headed home feeling proud of himself. He had just acquired an excuse to sit around all day on full pay. He knew exactly how he was going to spend his time and that was the opposite of any medical recommendations. He was going to sit down and stuff his face!

Jennifer was surprised that Simon was willing to go to such extreme lengths, but she was more than willing to go along with him.
She stocked up the fridge and the cupboards. She made sure he had access to plenty good telly and films by subscribing to a streaming service and she made sure he had the games he wanted to play on his console.

Simon really enjoyed his first week off. Jennifer would bring him breakfast in bed before heading off to work. Then, he'd fall asleep again, waking somewhere around eleven. He got up, not bothering to shave or shower, but put on some loose clothing and waddled downstairs. He would stop at the fridge first and grab some exciting nibbles before installing himself on the sofa in front of the telly.
He ate absent mindedly all day.
When Jennifer came home, she made him a substantial high calorie meal followed by a large creamy dessert, then kept him stocked up with more snacks for the rest of the evening.
She was relishing the fact that he was finally getting virtually no exersise. His metabolism would slow down another notch and he would gain even more weight!

It took a month for the urgent physio appointment to come through. The physio couldn't help but mention his weight. If he had weak stomach muscles he would be putting extra strain on his back. He had to strengthen his core and there was no way he could do that efficiently with all this weight in his belly pulling him forward all the time. He HAD to lose weight! Only then would he stand a chance of being pain free.
Simon was already pain free. He didn't need to opioids or the physio. He went along with what he said only because he had to. He didn't have to do the exercises. He didn't have to do anything he recommended because his sciatica existed only in his imagination.

The dietician's appointment was not so easy to get through. She was hard on him. He should know better being a nurse! He did too, but he chose not not to eat correctly. He played the innocent with her. She tried to empathise, tried not to lecture. She wanted him to fill in a food diary over the next week for her to see where he was going wrong.
Jennifer laughed when Simon told her what she wanted. He could not fill it in because he had no idea what he got through every day. In contrast, Jennifer knew exactly what he ate, at least when he was at home. She knew what his daily calorie intake was. Everything! She thought it would be fun to fill out a food diary for the week. In fact, she would fill out two. One would follow a reasonably healthy plan, with the odd indiscretion here and there. This would be what the dietician actually saw. The other would be a true food diary showing how far away it was from the fiction. A hefty 10,000 calories away!