chapter 4

After work Alex was waiting outside. She had a gym bag carelessly slung over her shoulder and was wearing an oversized hoodie with the lion coat of arms of St. Andrews University and some sports team on it. I couldn't help but think that even in her skinny jeans and a kicked in pair of Converses she looked better than I could ever dream of even after hours in front of the mirror. I always envied thin girls their ability to pull off that slouchy, comfortable look while I felt like if was anything less than primped and pristine then I would look sloppy and people would think I was a total slob.

I knew she was waiting for me, of course, but I was still in no mood to speak to her and had no interest in easing her conscience so I attempted to walk past her.

"Hey! Marina, wait!" she called after me. I had a feeling that she wouldn't be forgetting my name quite so easily this time around.

I kept walking but her long, easy strides effortlessly matched my lumbering step and I felt her grab the back of my arm.

"What? Is this the part where you throw pig's blood on me and get another laugh at my expense?" I demanded as I whirled around to face her.

Her pretty mouth flinched a little, taken aback my hostility and even I was shocked by the strength of my anger towards her. "No, no. I just... I wanted to apologise for what happened today. I never meant to upset you like that. You must think I'm a total asshole."

I could already feel my resolve softening. God, I was weak. I realised that my arms were folded across my chest as if hugging myself protectively, I let them fall to my sides. "Maybe not a total asshole."

"Just a bit of an asshole then?" Alex smiled.

I nodded.

"Well, maybe we could go for a drink and who knows, by the end of the night I could have risen in your estimations to 'not that bad' or even 'alright', especially if I ply you with enough alcohol."

I knew she was only asking to make herself feel better more than anything. it was a pity invite at best but i wanted so badly to know her that I was folding as easily as a deck of cards.

We walked somewhat aimlessly in the pleasant early evening sun as old man pubs and scummy sectarian bars slowly gave way to the greenery and affluence of the west end.

"Are you hungry?" Alex asked, stopping abruptly.

Starving.

"A little, I guess," I said.

"Good, because I'm starving and this place is really good."

I looked dubiously at the restaurant she had stopped outside: it was a Malaysian restaurant I had never heard of before and it looked a little grim, red paper lanterns and maneki neko cats doing nothing to cheer up its barren interior of white walls and cheap, plastic-y looking table and chairs.

"I know it doesn't look like much but my team used to come here after practice all the time," Alex assured me.

We were swiftly served by an unsmiling waitress. I didn't really know what was good so I let Alex order for both of us and she over ordered an overwhelming amount of food even by my standards. I guess she was just used to going there with a crowd.

We hadn't been seated for long when Alex's phone began to ring but she took one look at the caller ID, silenced it and placed it on the table. I watched as the screen instantly began to light up with message alerts.

"Somewhere you're supposed to be?" I asked.

"Just a volleyball game," she said, slipping her phone back into her pocket.

"Oh. I didn't mean to keep you from your plans."

"I had already decided to sack it off before I asked you," Alex said a little peevishly.

"It just seems like they're expecting you," I persisted

She smirked at me. "Do you always do what people expect you to?"

Yes.

"No."
"They can beat some shitty second division team without me and if they can't..." she shrugged. "Well, that's too bad."

Alex pointedly turned her attention back to her food as if to say that the discussion was over.

She had been right, the food really was good: sticky pork that melted in your mouth; deep fried soft shell crab whose crisp exterior gave way to soft and sweet meat; and a delicately spiced fish curry made creamy and rich with coconut milk. Everything was delicious yet I found that I had uncharacteristically little appetite for it. Partly because I didn't want to look like a starving hog shovelling down my food but mostly because the realisation that whatever little interest Alex had had in me was now petering out into boredom at best and annoyance at worst had my stomach in the grip of panic.

"I didn't realise that people took volleyball so seriously," I ventured. "I thought it was just a game girls played in bikinis at the beach for guys to ogle at them."

"It's an Olympic sport," she said a little defensively.

I realised that despite ditching the game and her team, I had still managed to prick Alex's sense of pride but still something inside me couldn't resist pushing her a little more.

"So is ping pong," I pointed out.

Her brow creased for a moment, as if unsure what to make of the fact that I was the one teasing her and then she laughed. "Yeah, good point."

The sound of her laughter made me flush with delight and I felt myself colouring even deeper when I realised that she was studying me closely as if reappraising my worth.

"You know, you're alright, Marina," she said at last. "How about we go for that drink?"

I nodded, grinning stupidly at receiving the merest crumb of her approval.