chapter 4

Over the ten months I was gone, she rarely left my mind. Of course there were the usual feelings of sadness and desire to just be around her again, but after how we parted there was definitely an intense feeling of anticipation. It was difficult at first to stay focused on my work, but eventually I was able to use my intense feelings to help motivate me to work better. My mantra became "just one step closer back to her." No time or distance was going to break my devotion. Unfortunately, not all of my peers share that same level of devotion to their loved ones back home. Fraternization is one of the dirty little secrets of the military. And for every 10 great human beings, you will encounter a total scumbag in uniform. Though I believe the majority are great people, not everyone joins the military because they feel a calling to do something good. I served with two guys in particular that were pulled from my previous unit along with me. They knew who I was married to, and in fact one of them knew my wife before I did. One day about half way through the deployment, the three of us were on duty along with my Chief. The subject of the stereotypical "dependopotamus" came up and I instantly braced for what was coming. In the military, dependopotamus (combining the words "dependent" and "hippopotamus") is the charming term douche bags give to entitled military wives who just got married for the benefits and spend there time having babies and spending their husband's money while he is on deployment. These are women who gain three hundred pounds and demand to be saluted even though they are not the ones in uniform. While there are people like that, the term and stereotype is insulting and in all actuality a hold over from a different generation of military members. Still, like I said, occasionally you will run into an asshole in uniform. The conversation quickly turned to specific people at our unit back home. I continued to stay silent and stared ahead with my jaw clenched. I knew what was coming. Not 5 minutes after beginning did one of them look at me and say "I feel bad for you man. The hottest local girl finally breaks her no sailor rule for you, and it turns out it was just for your health insurance and check. Does she actually leave any food for you, or do you have to go fend for yourself?" There was nothing to say to that. I had made up my mind when the conversation started how I was going to end it. With little hesitation I grabbed him by the straps of his vest and slammed my forehead into his nose. The move was so fast and so unexpected, he barely had time to flinch. He hit the ground, and his buddy just stared at me dumbfounded. I got back into position like nothing happened, while the guy on the ground started screaming at me. The Chief, who had actualy been close enough to get a sense of what happened, screamed both are names to get into his office. Two other members were pulled to temporarily relieve us and we marched in silence with the chief back towards his quarters. We entered and stood at attention while he took a seat behind his desk.
He looked at the guy with the bloody nose first; "what happened?"
"He went nuts chief, and headbutted me out of nowhere. I didn't do anything to him!"
"Was there anything said prior to him hitting you, or was it unprovoked?" Chief asked, eerily calm compared to the initial order to get to his office.
"All I did was ask him a question about stuff back home. I was only trying to involve him in a conversation Jones and I were already having. He needs written up!"
At that moment, the chief sneezed. It was so unexpected and exaggerated that bloodynose and I forgot a bearing for half a second and flinched. Still calmly, the Chief said, "Oh excuse me. I am allergic to bullshit." Then like a switch was flipped he started to bark at bloodynose, "You're going to stand there, in my office, and try to bullshit me? Do I look like I was born yesterday? Do you think I have these anchors (flipping his collar) because I am some naive sumbitch that can be taken for a ride that easily? I heard every fucking word of that conversation. You think you can disrespect a man's wife, especially while he is on the other side of the planet, and not get hit. Goddamn, if it was me I would have done a lot worse. Now clean you fucking face off and I better not hear anything out of your mouth except 'aye aye, Chief' for the rest of this watch.
"Aye aye, Chief," bloddynose exclaimed, trying not to let his voice crack.
"Dismissed."
After he left the room, Chief looked at me for the first time since entering the room. "Sit down, sailor."
"Aye, Chief," I said, doing my best to sound confident.
Before talking, he adjusted a photo on his desk. I didn't look at it right away.
He said, "Listen, I have your back on this one, but don't make this a habit. Truth of the matter, I probably would have given him worse than he got, and have done just that back in the days where you could get away with it. These days I can only scare guys like that into compliance for a short time. If he starts in on that shit again, just come straight to me. There is no room for that kind of bullshit here. A man doesn't get to insult another man's wife."
He then reached into his desk drawer to pull out his pipe and tobacco. As he looked down, I glanced over at the picture he had adjusted. It now faced more toward me and was of him, his wife, and his two girls. In an instant, things became clear. He had a beautiful family, including his wife who by my estimate had to be nearly 350 lbs. My eyes shifted back to his hands as he packed his pipe. I am sure he knew I had looked.
"You still have some of his blood on your forehead. Get cleaned up, and get your ass back to watch. Dismissed."

**********

This time there was no need for subterfuge as to why I was not readily receiving pictures (even though I did occasionally ask). Even written details were few and far between. I know she did this on purpose. It made it so that the smallest hint as to what was going on would send my thoughts spinning for days. Sometimes it would just be a casual mention of how many times she went out to eat that week, or how she had to go to the mall the following weekend for new clothes even though it felt like she just did that "last month." Occasionally there were complaints of always being hungry, or how she never realized how narrow the seats at our local movie theater were. This subtle teasing went on for 10 months. By the time I boarded the plane to head home, I was in a fog. I ran through the motions of traveling on autopilot because my thoughts were completely occupied with seeing her for the first time in almost a year.

When a unit comes back from a mission like ours, there is usually a lot of fanfare. We fly into a military air station. Much like pulling back into port, our families are all lined up when we get there, this time in an adjoining hangar. There are signs and cheers as we march into the space. Military bearing restricts our eyes from wandering while in formation, but it is understandably difficult to not look over when you march into a room full of family members yelling in joy and celebration. I barely held on and did notice a couple guys around me start to break once we came to a halt. When we were released my head jerked around so fast I nearly made myself dizzy. I scanned the crowd for a familiar face, then thought better of it, and started looking at the signs. As soon as I saw it I knew. It didn't have may name on it, but the message was clearly to me. "Keepin' it 300" with an arrow pointing down. Not very subtle, but who gives a shit. My eyes followed the arrow down but it still took a couple seconds to process what I was looking at.

There she was, every bit of 300 lbs. The smile, bright eyes, and hair were all hers, but everything else was nearly unrecognizable. In the 10 months I had been away she had burned right past "chubby," "hefty," and "plump," and arrived at full-fledged fat girl.