Chapter 4 - part three

"Just a temporary setback," Sarah tried to assure herself one Sunday afternoon as she polished off the remainder of a batch of chocolate cupcakes that she had baked the night before. The Munchies watched with delight as Sarah popped the last cupcake into her mouth, her chubby cheeks puffing out and her double chin rippling as she chewed greedily.

"Now don't be wasteful," said one of the Munchies, handing Sarah the container of leftover chocolate frosting. Another Munchie dumped the last of a bag of peanut butter cups in front of her. Sarah unwrapped one after another and dunked them one by one into the frosting, and when she had finished off the last one, she swirled her finger around the edge of the container, making sure to get every last bit. For the chaser, she gulped a tall glassful of whole milk.

And all this was merely the "dessert" to her lunch, which had been a triple helping of macaroni and cheese and a whole loaf of foccacia bread smeared liberally with butter. It was the eighth time in three weeks that Sarah had gone on "one final binge." She was trying not to become completely discouraged, but she realized that if she kept stuffing herself at this rate she would never get back down to her former size.

In just the few months since she had let herself go, Sarah had lost the ability to restrain herself around food. It was difficult for her to even imagine that there had been a time not very long ago when she ate low-fat meals in sensible portions. This was perhaps the most fiendish aspect of the Munchies plot: They had made Sarah forget how to be thin. Sarah wracked her brain trying to recall how she had ever managed to eat in moderation. But now she had no idea how to do so.

Even after so many setbacks, however, Sarah didn't abandon hope that she would shed the extra weight. She recently had downloaded a series of workout videos, figuring that she'd try to lose a few pounds on her own before rejoining the gym. In fact, she regularly woke up early to work out to these videos, but every morning she met with the same results: She would become winded just several minutes into the routine. She wasn't accustomed to exercising as a fat girl. Gravity had taken its toll, and Sarah couldn't get used to the sensation of her boobs, butt, and paunch weighing her down, bouncing heavily with every movement she made. So she would shut off the routine, huffing and puffing, and help herself to a big breakfast, convinced that she had at least worked off a few calories. Then she would go back to bed.

Despite her attempts to slim down, Sarah had succeeded only in getting fatter, and the pounds were piling on faster than ever. Her figure had rounded out significantly. Sarah's whole body was now insulated with soft layers of blubber. Her hips and buttocks had widened considerably, her thighs rubbed together when she walked, and her abdomen positively bulged.

She had bought new clothes just a couple of weeks ago, albeit in the smallest size that she could still fit into. She was embarrassed by how many sizes she had gone up, but she refused to accept the possibility of further weight gain. She hadn't counted on outgrowing her new wardrobe, as she was doing already.

The last time Sarah had stepped on a scale, she had been so taken aback by her new weight that she had resolved right then and there to rid her apartment of all but healthy foods. And in fact, for a few moments she was prepared to throw out every last morsel of junk food in her apartment. But at last she thought better of it. It seemed such a shame to waste perfectly fine food that she had paid good money for. She finally amended her intentions: She would finish up whatever treats were left, at a reasonable pace--a nibble here, a sampling there--and then, whenever all the junk food was gone, she would buy no more. Sarah figured that if she rationed herself, her cravings wouldn't be so intense.

But there was never an end to it. The Munchies always made sure that Sarah bought goodies from the store, so there was always one more cake to be eaten, or one more pint of ice cream, or one more candy bar. The Munchies had even tricked Sarah into stuffing her face AND making her think that doing so was the necessary first component of her weight-loss program.

Now Sarah groaned as she pushed herself away from the table. She felt the tightness around her waist as her bloated belly strained against the fabric of her pants. "Dammit, I just bought these jeans!" she yelled, noticing that her flab was pooching well over the waistband. The Munchies snickered as Sarah tried to suck in her paunch to no avail.

The meal had made Sarah drowsy. She didn't want to fritter away the afternoon, but she was suddenly overcome by torpor. She waddled to the futon and unbuttoned her jeans, sighing with relief as her belly bounced free. As she sat down, her belly billowed out into two large rolls with another tiny roll just beginning to form beneath her breasts. She grabbed the remote control, turned on the TV, and flipped through the channels for a bit before letting the channel rest on PBS. She sat through several cooking shows and found herself growing a little hungry again just watching them. She leaned back and held her engorged belly with both hands.
When Sarah recovered from her post-binge languor, she looked at the clock and sighed with frustration. It was already 3:00 in the afternoon, and she hadn't done anything all day except eat and watch TV. "So much for getting an early start," she reprimanded herself. She lazed around for a few more minutes, then decided that since the day was mostly shot anyway, she would take care of her grocery shopping.

She stood up and tried to rebutton her jeans, but she was still bloated. She put on her newest pair of shorts, which were slightly baggy by design and the only thing that she could still fit into fairly comfortably. She brushed her hair, clipped it up, and left the apartment.

At the Super Value Supermarket, Sarah reminded herself that she ought to buy healthy foods, but they all seemed so unappealing to her. She found herself instead almost magnetically drawn to the snack aisle, the ice cream freezers, and the dairy case. Aside from essentials, she filled her cart almost entirely with goodies. Sarah swore to herself that this was her last splurge before she found a new job. Her money was getting almost as tight as her clothes, and she needed to budget herself better.

Sarah proceeded to the checkout line and waited to unload her items. She absent-mindedly leafed through a tabloid; then she happened to glance up. Her heart quickened and she could feel herself blush: There, in the check-out line next to hers, was her ex-boyfriend, Paul. He was far enough ahead of her in line that he probably couldn't see her. The older woman being rung up in Paul's line had coupons and was writing a check; but Sarah's line was moving pretty quickly. Sarah thought about backing out of line, but there were already people behind her. As her line moved forward, she found herself almost directly opposite Paul. Sarah kept her head down, desperate not to make eye-contact. She held the tabloid up closer to her face. She was so eager not to be seen that she didn't notice the person ahead of her had again moved forward.

The man in line behind her cleared his throat. "Ma'am. Ma'am!" he said. Sarah turned around. He pointed to the conveyor belt, indicating that Sarah could put her groceries there now. As she put the tabloid back onto the rack, she noticed Paul glancing over at her. He did a double-take. Sarah quickly unloaded her cart. She was so nervous, however, that she fumblingly knocked a bag of cookies off of the conveyor belt and onto the floor. She bent over to pick it up, then straightened up with embarrassment as she realized that she was calling undue attention to her enormous butt. She tugged and straightened her t-shirt and brushed her hair behind her ears with her fingers.

"Sarah?" she heard Paul say from the next line. She pretended not to hear, but her face felt hot. She tapped her foot nervously as the cashier scanned and bagged the groceries for what seemed to take forever. As soon as she paid and the grocery bags were loaded back into her cart, Sarah waddled as fast as she could out of the store, making sure not to look at Paul even as he craned his neck to catch her attention.

Sarah quickened her pace until she got to the car, by which time she was out of breath. She threw the groceries in the trunk, then waited in the car, curious to see whether Paul would look for her. Some minutes later, Paul emerged from the store with a befuddled expression on his face. He scanned the parking lot but didn't see her. Sarah watched from her car, her heart racing. She felt giddy, angry, and embarrassed all at once. She wished that she could talk to Paul, but she knew that it would be too awkward.

Sarah had hoped that Paul wouldn't recognize her now that her hair was longer and she was so much heavier than the last time he had seen her. But since she was wearing shorts, he had probably noticed her tattoo on her right ankle. And her ear was pierced seven times on her right ear...Paul would have recognized her by that as well.

Sarah returned to her apartment, put her groceries away, and plumped down on her futon. She couldn't bring herself to do much of anything except mope. Sarah couldn't believe Paul had actually seen her...like this. She knew it was only a matter of time until all of their mutual acquaintances would hear about how fat she had gotten. She had hoped she could lose the extra pounds before anyone would be the wiser, but now she realized that was a pipe dream. It was no longer a matter of dropping a couple of extra pounds. She was fat, and it would take some really serious effort to be thin again. Sarah was now beginning to think that it was near impossible to ever be as thin as she once had been.