My new roommate

chapter 1

I had begun the process of interviewing potential roommates, and I hated it with a passion. My last roommate was picked by random, a bad idea from the start, and he was a total ***er. He was the type of guy who'd eat your food and lie about. He was the type of guy who would leave a bowl of cereal milk in the sink for a week. I didn't even think he bought toilet paper for the apartment once. I was glad he decided to move back in with his parents.

So it was great that he moved out and everything, but my prospects for a new roommate weren't looking so hot. There was an older gentleman who creeped me out a little. I told him I'd let him know about the apartment if I didn't find a better match in a day or so. The other guy who was interested was named Snake, and the thing about it was, I wasn't too sure that it wasn't just a nickname. I was pretty sure his name was legally Snake. He had just made parole and in our conversation he joked about how he was likely going to end up back in prison with how he was going to pay the rent. I got Snake to understand I was still looking and if he didn't hear from me by next week I likely found another, more compatible, match.

Alexander Wisely, age 21, was my last and only hope of finding somebody semi-normal, which was hilarious in and of itself. Normality was only a social-construct, and my judgments were based solely on my experiences. At half pass noon I heard a knock on my door. He was right on time. He had only called just this morning about the ad. He asked to arrange a meeting as soon as possible. We introduced ourselves and for the most part he seemed like the best choice for my new roommate. We sat in the living room, me semi-interviewing him as I had done for every other candidate.

"So where did you use to live?" I asked. I couldn't help but note how hot he was. It hadn't been in my ad that the guy had to be hot, but Alex was just going above and beyond. The dude was amazing to look at, and at 6'2" and about 200 pounds of muscle, he was on the same level as a male model. I thought he would have looked even better if he put on a couple of pounds, but I wasn't complaining. Not everyone was into the dadbods--and beyond.

"I came to the city from my parent's farm," he said with a bit of a twang.

"That's so cool," I said over-enthusiastically. I toned it down a bit. "Did you do farm work? With, like, cows?" He laughed. It was such a hearty laugh. I probably sounded like a doofus. I had been to a farm only once in my entire life, on a field trip in middle school.

"Yeah, but I hate farm life. That's why I want to move here." He shook his head slowly. "They made me do all the work, and for nothing. My parents were always badgering me. They said I'd never leave."

"Well," I began with a smile. "I'd love for you to be my new roommate."

"So I can move here?" he asked, standing, his fist clenched in front of him. I nodded. He was so damn innocent and wholesome. He probably had problems with homosexuality. I was getting the vibe that he probably came from a town without someone openly gay. "Really?" he asked, still in disbelief.

"Yeah, you can move in as soon as possible," I said. "There is already a bed so you don't have to worry about that. We'll just need to get you on the lease and everything should be A-OK."

"Gosh, that's great, so I can come right now? I already have my stuff if you don't mind." He was blushing.

"No, I don't mind, of course you can move in today." I had hoped he would be moving in soon, but I hadn't expected him to be moving in this soon. He ran his hand through his hair, which was curly and golden blond. His eyes were an ice blue. They were such a striking color. He looked like a damn angel, all cute and shit.

He had broad shoulders and a huge chest. His legs were thick with muscle and his butt was perfect. It was large and round, most likely because of all the farm work. I could see him in overalls lifting bales of hay and doing other sexy farmer things. I could see him vividly, only in this scenario he had a nice big gut to go along with those rippling pectorals. I had never even considered the possibility that I'd start having farm fantasies.

He was just all around gorgeous, and to me at least, he did and said things in a really funny way. I helped him bring in his six bags from his truck, surprised he was just so sure he'd find a place to live on his first day in the city. He hadn't found a place to live before just driving up here. I left him to unpack and made my way to the living room. I sat on the couch, which was my favorite piece of furniture in my entire apartment. It was kind of old, but I thought it had character.

"Excuse me, Mr. Haley?"

"Mr. Haley?" I responded with a laugh. "Call me Brian. I'm only 23, man." I had never been called Mr. Haley by anyone except maybe a bank teller. I never thought I put out that vibe. "You don't think I'm that much older than you, do you?" He was so weird and I loved every second of it. He could not have thought I was so much older than he was that he should call me Mr. Haley. It just wasn't possible.

"No, of course not! I thought I was supposed to call you that because--you're like a landlord, right?" He was blushing again. He was embarrassed by his lack of knowledge of city life. I didn't think someone could actually know so little. Did he ever even watch TV? He must've lived a really sheltered life. It made him even cuter though, in all honesty. I didn't want to laugh, but I did. "I'm sorry," he said, laughing with me.

"It's fine, honestly. You're pretty funny." I tried to smile in the kindest way I could.

"Anyway, uh, Brian, could you help me out with something?"

"Sure, what?" I asked, happy to help him any way I possibly could. Did he need a cold drink? A blow job? I'd rather he do it in the house with me than with some stranger.

"Well, uh, I might be good with tractors and cattle, that's simple, but back home my momma made the beds," he said endearingly. "So could you help me with my sheets? How the hell am I supposed to get these things on there?" He was so sweet. I could taste the sugar in the air. Infatuated to my fullest capacity, I began the sad realization that he probably would never even fall for me. He probably wasn't even gay.

"Okay." We were in his room and I was making his bed, like I had been in it with him beforehand, and I thought about how we could have some killer sex in here.

"Thank you so much for helping me out." I take it he was embarrassed about asking me to do this, but he seemed to enjoy interacting with me.

"It's okay, really," I said, slipping his pillows into their cases. "I'm happy to help you out, roomie."

"Thanks again, for everything." I set down the pillows and made my way to the door.

"It's no problem. Come to me if you need anything." I made my way to my room and thought about how we were going to have an incredibly difficult relationship.