Chapter 2 - ii: whisky and brits

We both sat there for a moment staring at the things that had us mutually befuddled. While I stared at a copper button that had no business being anywhere but attached to my jeans. The British stranger was busy staring at the leggy brunette in her underwear that had no business being anywhere but in attendance of a metal concert. "So is this a sex thing, it wasn't exactly the vibe I was getting from the notice but it's like a lot of money so....." the Brit said breaking the silence chirpily and snapping me back to reality. "Uhhh, oh I'm not the person who made the notice, just here for the job" I said with a pragmatic if somewhat shy fashion reaching down for my discarded jacket and pulling up my jeans. Proceeding to wrap it around my waist for use as an impromptu belt, hoping to look somewhat presentable for the upcoming job interview. "Right well if your thinking of flashing him I'm gonna need to up my game" the red head said with a small yet rather adorable lip bite as her emerald eyes perused my thankfully still compact body. "Haha yeah, don't look at that armor for too long, it'll mess you up" I responded a little more tenuously than I normally would've at such a comment. "So you wanna head up first or..." she continued trailing off and glancing upward at the warm light with out a care in the world. "Well If your up for it, I've got something else in mind" I begun to say eying some loose floor boards with entrepreneurial curiosity.
So we approached the door in a relaxed silence both with a sizable plank of dark chestnut in hand. We weren't going to stick him up and rob him though the suggestion was as prevalent as it was unspoken. But we also couldn't just ignore the fact that we were two young attractive women in a creepy dark mansion in the middle of nowhere about to do a job interview to be an assistant to a job that was most discussed about in the topic of British teen fiction, and Daniel Radcliffe fan sites. "So assuming we do wind up murdering this strange man with pieces of his house, what's your name?" I asked her as we finished navigating the steps now mere inches from the doors. "Well my name is Dakota but if the police ask my name is "Innocent of all crimes, your honor". Dakota said in a sarcastic tone a cocky smirk on her full lips. "Alright, Dakota, lets go....get interviewed then" I said with only a little bit of anxiety as I pushed open the door.
On the other side there was a relatively normal room, it was of course much like the rest of the place, at the same time extremely irregular. While the rest of the house bore the artistic sensibilities of a coffin ship manned by giant spiders and those maids that steal instead of cleaning, this room looked like the kinda place a lord would bed his lady in some racy sex novel. The whole place was immaculately polished with thicks rugs of animal fur draped across the floor haphazardly in a sea of soft whites and striking grays. The walls were mostly covered in dark oak book cases filled to breaking point with a variety of books that seemed to be in every language except English, the only exception being a small corner where a desk seemed to have been fitted in. Sitting at this table was quite a peculiar individual indeed. A man, and a tall one at that with fashionably short grey hair spiked haphazardly, I would've pegged him as some kind of aged rocker if it weren't for the old western villain mustache and the Sherlock Holmes's trench coat . "Ah I see y'all've made it one piece then darlings" he said spinning on his stool theatrically revealing a set of unusually golden eyes.
Dakota just started giggling and clutched the makeshift bat to her side. Her laugh is and always will be the most contagious, genuine and musical noise I've ever hear so I quickly followed suite the broken tension filling me with a fey mood. "Umm, did ya get charmed or something on the way in dear" he asked us with some incredulousness as we openly laughed at him "Look mate sorry, but firstly you put out an add looking for trouble makers and secondly, I was, well kind of expecting you to be a little....more regal". Dakota said calming herself by waving her hand though I noticed that her other hand still had the plank in a death grip. "Why does everyone always assume that nowadays, It's the same thing as the damn facial hair shaming in this community, we can't all have beards so long we can trip over em some of use got things to do" he huffed unhappily in his seat, his exuberance was pretty disarming and so I let my guard down a little and noted Dakota doing the same. "Well just so you know, those planks you got there are kinda, sorta irradiated from when the basement blew up....so uhhh yeah" he said with a sympathetic wince as he noticed out weapons. It took, it turns out exactly one word too render us completely defenseless as Dakota tossed hers like an Olympic javelin out the door we had come from and mine made a discuss toss into the fire place. We turned attention back on our would be employer we found him chuckling into his hands. "Haha, you two are a hoot ain't ya, I was just joshing ya" he said with a chuckle as he smiled at us. "Anyways, you two are the third and fourth to arrive" he said with a slight smile as he pulled out a book flicking through it casually continuing on before either of us could object to his little prank. "Well shit" Dakota said with a defeated shrug "So, the jobs taken" I asked him in an annoyed tone, believing for a minute that I had suffered through a visual hallucination for literally no reason. "Oh naw wait hold up" he said backing into his chair defensively as we glowered at him. "Ya see, the jobs not gonna be given for like another three years y'all need to be trained for it, and go through the interview process" He said as I suddenly felt myself sinking into a soft surface of what I was extremely pleased to find to be an armchair.
I also wasn't gonna complain about where Dakota wound up, that being sitting horizontally across my lap, her windswept hair looking rather fitting with the surprised look on her face. "Ummm, excuse me" She said to the wizard before glancing at me, a playful smile on her face. "Yah, um, that's magic I don't know if y'all read the report, or if it was even on there.....look I'm very sorry but I was rather drunk writing it out so if y'all want to run away call the news like ya did on my boi Copperfield that's okay" he said abashedly as our realities unfolded like badly assembled origami cranes. "Um magic seems awe-" "well I'm staying, I like money" we both said simultaneously still awkwardly positioned in the over sized chair, both rather desperate but now for very different things. "Thank goodness for that" the wizard responded with a contended sigh before downing a mug of mead that seemed to have been occupying a tiny pocket in his weird outfit. "Well I'm Gabriel, Gabriel Whisky" he said reaching out an outstretched hand both of us miraculously standing up and in range to shake it. "And class starts tomorrow at high noon"