chapter 2

I grabbed two sodas from the kitchen and made my way up to my bedroom. God, I had missed him so much. A summer away from him had nearly driven me insane. I had been alone on a bicycle made for two. I was salt without my pepper. I could go on and on with metaphors.

He had put on some weight, but that wasn't a big deal. Plus, he didn't say anything about it so why should I? It was not my place to say anything about it, positive or negative. Even if I thought it was oh so positive.

"Here you go," I said as I handed him the soda. He thanked me and I began asking the questions I had been preparing all summer. "How was it? Was it as bad as you thought?"

"No, it was alright, it was a shitload of farm work, but I ate a lot to make up for it." He looked down at his round belly. "Can't you tell?" Of course I could tell, it was the elephant in the room.

"Yeah," I said as I blushed. I opened my soda and took a sip. "I didn't want to make you feel bad about it." He smiled.

"Thanks...I thought you would have said something."

"What did your parents say...about the weight?" I asked.

"My dad didn't say anything, but my mom said something about a diet."

"Oh...do you want to go on a diet?" He looked at me for a moment as if I had asked a dumb question.

"Hell no! I don't mind it at all." He rubbed his gut. "Don't I look stronger?" He flexed his arms. "No?" His arms were bigger, stronger looking.

"So it's not a problem," I inquired. "You do look bigger and...stuff." He took a sip from his soda. We fell silent for a moment. "Did you meet any new people?" I asked trying to stimulate something other than my penis.

"Yeah, this guy...his name was Sampson," he said almost dreamily. He snapped back into reality. "I need to tell you something."

"Anything," I said as I sat up straight.

"Well, you see, I liked him." That was it?

"Yeah, new friends are always nice."

"I really liked him, Scott." He held the soda can with both hands. He looked away from me with nervous eyes. "I lost my virginity to him." My heart sank into my stomach. I couldn't breathe. My palms began to sweat. "We're going to try and make a long distance relationship work." He looked at me directly. "I'm gay Scott, and as my best friend I was really hoping for your support."

I could have told him I was gay too. I could have gushed my feelings for him right then and there, but I couldn't utter a single word of what I wanted. Not one goddam word. "Scott, say something," he said, voice shaking.

"I...I support you in what...whatever you decide to do." He stood up and pulled me up into a hug.

"I knew you would, thanks. This means a lot to me."

"Of course Danny," I muttered robotically.

"I have to go. We still have a week until school starts, lots of stuff to do, me and you. See you tomorrow."

"Bye." He walked out of my room and I watched him get into his truck from my window.

It was Sunday. My heart was broken on a Sunday.

Monday: Mall

Tuesday: Amusement Park

Wednesday: Bookstore (My Idea)

Thursday: His house

Friday: Museum (My Idea)

Saturday: Movie

Sunday: My house

It was like I was his boyfriend. This Sampson person lived so far away, I could have Danny. I could tell him how I felt. I could be happy. We didn't have to be long distance. It was ridiculous. I just couldn't tell him I was in love with him.

The first day of school went by smoothly and in two days, practice would begin. I had been running all summer and I finally got a pretty decent mile time.

I liked Cross Country because it gave me time to think. There were no balls or people coming at me, just me, running. And trust me; I could use the time to think.