Chapter 5

And so it came that Brie entered into an alliance with the fat, mean old bikini matron, Divac's Mother. Brie crept and waddled (and shook and shimmied and gasped and huffed and puffed and sweated) and arrived late one night at the matron's door - the light was still on. After tapping on the door she waited for the inevitable verbal and psychological abuse to come.

"You stupid fat bitches better get your God Damn fat ass bikinis during the daylight hours from now on, this is not Burger King - You can't always have it YOUR WAY!," screamed a crazed voice from within, followed by an ugly, mean face at the window, and the door being yanked open. The face was first shocked, then full of ridicule when she saw it was Brie. "Yes bloated, split belly, belly screw fat roll Piggy, what can I do to YOU tonite?" she said tilting her misshapen, caved in, wrinkled head sideways and smirking.

"Well, uh, there is a new girl, Raven, here, uh, and I think she is, uh, moving in on Divac, and I want you to, uh... uh, help me stop it so that I can keep the situation, uh, the same!" said Brie. The matron threw her bizarre head back and cackled loud and long, coughing heavily, her face turning bright red, leading Brie to think that she was choking to death.

"Are you OK?", said Brie worried about only her chances for an unholy, crazy, but lucrative, alliance. "Yes screw you I am OK - as if you give a rat's ass about me - but you are the first of Divcas 'special friends' to realize that I can help you, so 'welcome' and come in," said the evil bikini matron, opening the door, and with a sick smile, showing her 3 tooth bridge in all its glory.

Upon entering the tension was thick. The matron said, "How much is it worth to you piggy, to be his bloated, blimp, piggy belly screw forever?" Brie steeled herself and said, "I will pay you to keep that bitch, and all the others, out of the picture, so I can rule as the queen here!" The matron grinned sardonically and said slowly, "What are you proposing?" Brie said, "I have a good gig and I do not want to give it up, so you do what you have to do! I will pay you 100,000 British pounds!"

The matron screamed and laughed at full volume, "Half of what you have collected from my stupid but blubber belly loving son, now, not a penny less!" she yelled spitting at at Brie, and slapping her fat belly so it shook. Brie thought a minute and said slowly, "OK, deal, what do you have planned?"

"You just wait sweetheart fat belly piggy, I will see to things - a deal is a deal," sneered the old fat matron, dragging Brie out the door painfully by squeezing and pinching her middle belly roll and then slamming the door in her face.

What had she done, thought Brie? What did the crazed old maniac woman have planned? She waddled as fast as possible to the bar for her always free bottle of tequila, then did 4 large shots, and of course had a snack of 3 bacon cheeseburgers and some pie, all the while thinking about Cathy....and Raven.....