Chapter 4

He does a lot of calling me late at night. I sat up and went over to my phone. It was so late, after midnight this time. I put the phone up to my ear.

“Hey, did I wake you?” He said. Uh, yeah? It’s after midnight. But who am I kidding? I didn’t care. I loved when he called. I loved when he asked me out on dates. I loved that he was thinking about me.

I had never had a girlfriend. I had never had a boyfriend, either. I enjoyed being close to another person. I enjoyed being close to Clay. He was sweet, and cute, a bit sarcastic, and funny. He was nice to me and loved to hang out a lot.

“No, no. I was awake.” I lied, fighting back yawns. At least it was Thursday. Fridays always felt like blow off days senior year. “What’s up?” I asked.

“You wanna go bowling tomorrow?” Ha! He couldn’t have asked me to do something more difficult. I can’t even hit a single pin. Of course I agreed to go, but I felt like I was just going to embarrass myself. We had gone to that party, a movie, mini golf, and I had been to almost all of his football games. It was so weird having a boyfriend, but I liked it.

“You know, I am really bad at bowling.” I could hear him laugh lightly on he other end of the line. “It’s true…sports have never really been my thing.”

“Bowling is not a sport.” He said. “It’s like a recreational activity. If it doesn’t involve running, it’s not a sport.” I laughed because that was just so Clay. It was nice getting to know another person’s thoughts and ideals.

However, he is sometimes a bit depressing. He worries about college a lot. He worries about his grades. He tells me about how his sister is so successful and he doesn’t want to be the bad child. He also worries about disappointing his dad. He told me it was really hard for him to accept that he was gay.

“I think it is.” I said. He laughed again. He had such a nice laugh. It was low and heavy. Whenever I heard it, I felt warm. He was usually always smiling and radiating confidence.

Confidence is something I didn’t have. I felt insecure and childlike. I was short and thin and I could find everything wrong with me. But, sometimes a person just has to let that sort of thing go, or life would become unbearable.

“I’ll pick you up at seven?”

“Yeah, seven is good.” I said. It would be date number six, if you didn’t count football games.

We tried to see each other as often as possible because we go to different schools, and we talk on the phone a lot. I think he really likes me and that’s good because I really like him.

“Bye. See you tomorrow.” He said.

“Bye.” I said. I tried to get to sleep, but I was too excited. I had to make sure I wore something “cute.” He didn’t say if his friends would be there. I kinda hoped they wouldn’t be.