Chapter 3

****Alan****

I had just walked in the door from running some errands when I heard a small crash coming from the kitchen, followed by Laura exclaiming "Oh no!". I dropped my bag and hurried in, worried that she may have dropped something on her foot. The sight that greeted me was Laura standing by the fridge with a carton of soy milk in her hand, a sheepish look on her face, and a smashed cheesecake spread out by her feet.

"Oh babe, I'm so sorry," she said. "I was getting my milk here and accidentally knocked over the cheesecake. I guess the good news is that no one was eating it anyway, right?"

"Don't worry about it," I reassured her. "Let's get it cleaned up. And plus, I can always pick up another one."

"No!" Laura protested. "I mean, um . . . no need for that, right? Those aren't cheap, and it'll just get tossed anyway."

I was a little taken aback by her forceful response. It almost made me wonder if . . .

"Hey, you got a little cheesecake on your toes," I pointed out. "Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll take care of this here."

"Oh, okay," she replied, looking down at her feet. "Thanks, hun. And sorry again for making a mess."

"Don't worry about it," I smiled.

I waited until she was gone and quickly scooped up the cheesecake into the cardboard box. Glancing over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't caught, I took out the kitchen scale and placed the remains of the cheesecake on it. I looked on the box to find the weight of the cheesecake, then looked at the reading on the scale. After double and triple checking the numbers I put the scale away and placed the box in the trash. Then and only then I allowed a grin to spread across my face. That little minx had eaten some of the cheesecake, and she thought that she could hide it by dumping the rest on the floor.

It was then I believed for the first time that my trim little wife may have a much plumper future ahead of her. It was a pivotal moment in the events that would follow. I could have simply laughed it off or simply used it as fuel for my fantasies. Instead, however, I decided to take actual action based on what I had learned.

I quickly came up with a three-pronged attack against her self-control. First I would buy another cheesecake. Second, I would step it up in other areas, making sure plenty of sweet, salty, or greasy foods were always available. Third, I would make sure that the food would be displayed in such a way that I clearly couldn't track whether it was being eaten. Ice cream was out, but cookie jars filled with homemade baked goods were a good bet. I'd have to be very strategic, not just in what I bought but how it was displayed.

I barely managed to stop myself from rubbing my hands together and cackling like a cheesy movie supervillain. I didn't even pause to examine my motivations, it was just full speed ahead on the fattening train.