Chapter 4: Cinematic

Less than half-an-hour later, Beach was kitted out in a fake-fur coat over a figure-hugging red and gold dress. It had not been figure-hugging when she put it on, but since then, she had devoured three of the four bags of crisps and chocolate she had taken from the Supermarket. Sashman was watching her in fascination, and the seed of an idea was forming in his head.

“Beach?” he asked thoughtfully. “What do you want out of life?”

Beach grinned, showing off her dazzling teeth, and taking a swig from a bottle of wine they had also picked up at the supermarket. “Isn’t it obvious?” she asked. “I want it all!”

“I think,” said Sashman, thoughtfully, “that I could probably arrange something like that. Beach... how would you like to be a B-movie star?”

“Go on?” she grinned.

“I want to take advantage of your natural appetite so that none of the early scenes when you’re just starting out as a threat to all life on Earth have to use CGI. Yeah... I can see it now: ‘The Woman Who Ate the World!’ What was it you said you wanted?”

“I said I wanted it all!”

“Well then: ‘The Woman Who Ate the World: She wants it all... and if mankind isn’t careful, she might just get it!”

Beach swigged down the rest of the bottle of booze. “Oh sweetie- I think we’ve got a box-office hit on our hands here!”

***

Not long after this conversation took place, Sashman stepped out of the car with his date for the evening in tow, outside an elegant and lavish cinema, with the red-carpet down and a huge number of stars, starlets, producers and members of film crews all ready greet the famous Sashman.

Sashman made his way directly over to one of them in particular and gave him a brief, vigorous hug. “See, Jaff, I’m not half as late as I thought I was going to be- I haven’t even missed the opening, have I? Plus, I brought you a present to make up for scaring you like that!”

“Really?” the rather effete Jaff queried- “I can’t wait to see!”

“Then don’t... Jaff, may I introduce you to the star of our next movie: this is Beach!”

“Hi,” said Beach, sauntering up to Jaff.

“A pleasure, miss,” said Jaff, smiling then, to Sashman. “She’s a beauty alright, but she’ll barely fit in anything other than a wide angle-shot... I don’t see how we can get away with making our heroine so...” he looked at Beach and her body appreciatively for a moment. “So sumptuous,” he finished.

“Ah, but my little Jaffa-cake! You’re not thinking clearly!” Sashman opined. “She won’t play the heroine- she’ll play the antagonist, in a B-movie classic with modern production values but a deliberately camp, retro look and feel...”

“Entitled?” Jaff asked, obviously excited.

“Entitled ‘The Woman Who Ate the World!’”

“Oh Sashman- I love it!”

“Hey,” interrupted Beach, “do you two lovebirds need me to stick around for this conversation- it’s just that there’s a buffet over there, and I am absolutely, cavernously hungry!”

“Go right ahead,” Sashman said, then, to Jaff, “Now watch her in action.”

A couple of minutes went by in which Sashman and Jaff watched with artistic appreciation as Beach dug in.

“Oh yes, Sashy! She’s perfect for the role!”