Chapter 9

Egress had been in charge of her show for a number of months now, it's popularity expanding in line with her physique. The outbreaks of fighting that had characterised the early episodes had persisted but seemed to have had the opposite effect on the show's ratings than those perpetrating them had intended. Egress had become a household name. For the time being however, she had gone into seclusion. Her programme was in its mid-season break, and until it was time for the second half (to be filmed and broadcast live, as it happened), the only contact anyone had with Egress was through Polygon. At present, he was meeting with Melonie who, in a homage to the appearance that had got Egress fame rolling was to appear on her show in the upcoming episode.

"Everything alright?" Polygon asked, mildly.

"No it bloody isn't!" Melonie replied, pacing back and forth like a woman trying to wear and trench-deep groove into the floor. "How come no-one's seen Egress for the past two weeks? She is alright, I suppose?"

Polygon looked a little surprised. "She's fine," he affirmed.

"Then why isn't anyone allowed to see her? I keep expecting to hear her life-style's finally caught up with her and... well, think of the show!"

"Think of your comeback you mean," said Polygon, who, though not media-savvy, was acute enough to smell desperation. "Your careers gone down the pan since Egress went on air."

Melonie scowled at him. "Just try to make sure she doesn't explode or something before that bloody episode airs."

Polygon nodded, choosing not to point out that he was Egress's lover, not her personal physician. The poor woman was in such a state it would have been frankly cruel.

***

A week passed by and it came to the night before the show was to be filmed and broadcast, the night before Egress was to make her first public appearance in three weeks. In her apartment, Melonie sat brooding, waiting for her big comeback.

***

Egress's limo pulled up alongside the studio the following morning. The crowds who had been burbling with excitement fell quiet as the collective mass of people held their breath, waiting to see what change had been wrought in Egress that could have warranted her vanishing from the showbiz scene for weeks on end. The silence was broken only by the clicking of the driver-side door. Bon Mot climbed out and opened the passanger door, from which emerged Polygon.

"That thing's a bitch to steer," Bon Mot commented.

Polygon hushed him. "you're ruining the atmosphere!" he hissed.

With this exchange complete, the two men made their way around to the huge back door of the vehicle and heaved it open (Polygon putting as much flourish into the movement as possible).

There was a second's pause, then Egress poured herself out of the limo- an incredible feat considering the size she had reached in her two weeks out of the public eye. It was only by squashing herself to the greatest extent possible that she fitted out of the car: fully expanded she was wider than the door. Her thighs pushed up against one another, her breasts strained at her shirt with every breaths she took, her backside must have engulfed every seat in the limo and her belly... her belly had expanded beyond what anyone had expected, even from her. It didn't merely reach to the ground when she stood, but rested there and spread out in front of her like a landscape that started just below her vast bosom. Polygon and Bon Mot slid a sort of stretcher beneath it, a makeshift litter, and elevated the impossibly engorged gut above ground level, allowing Egress to move without being blocked by it or achieving the unfeasible task of lifting it herself, single handed. What Egress had done with her two weeks retreat was clear: she had been eating.

"It's show time!" she announced. And the crowd went absolutely wild.

***

In the studio, Egress settled herself into a couch that could not really contain her, resting her expanded girth on a creaking coffee table, and waved in her first guest while the audience cheered.

A few seconds later, Melonie, in her capacity as guest was seated opposite the big woman.

"So," said Egress, leaning forward, leaning on her gut, "I hear you show is about to return to the airwaves after something of an awkward absence. Want to share what that's all about?"

Melonie smiled and reached into her handbag, slowly pulling out a large, theatrically stylish revolver.

"Oh no," she said. "I think this will make a far more fitting comeback."

"Oh shit!" said Egress.

She had had guns pointed at her before, of course: the early stages of the show had been one long parade of potential violence. Before, however, movement had been easier for her, at least by a certain amount, and launching herself out of the way had always been a possibility (if a reckless and risky one). Now, however, movement at such speed was not possible: her enormous girth acted like an anchor that she had to gather up before moving even the shortest distance.

The world seemed to slow for her. She saw Polygon doing his heroic bit, as he always did, vaulting onto the stage and running towards her. She saw the gun flash as Melonie's finger tightened on the hair trigger. For a second, she was even sure she saw the bullet hurtling towards her. But of course, that was impossible. Then, as soon as it had begun, it was over. She saw a spurt of blood and took a second to register that it was not her own. Then Polygon was lying on the floor, swearing expressively while audience members (Bon Mot and Entré included) fought to restrain the would-be assassin. Egress, looking at Polygon lying on the floor covered in blood from taking a bullet for her, began to weep.

Even this sound did not last long however. Polygon himself interrupted it, with an appeal addressed to anyone who happened to be listening:

"Does somebody want to call a fucking ambulance! I've got a fucking bullet lodged in my shoulder!"

***

The bullet had missed all Polygon's major veins and arteries and within two months, he was back on his feet- albeit heavily bandaged.

"Are you going to resume the show?" he asked Egress, who had put it on hold since the incident. They were sitting in Egress's bedroom, quietly recovering from what had happened.

She shook her head, smiling, then nodded to a drawer set into a nearby cabinet. Polygon swung it open and grinned at the contents. Four cruiser tickets back to England lay there in: himself, Egress, Bon Mot and Entré were going home.

"Here's hoping they don't decide I need to buy another couple of tickets for all the extra me I've got," she said patting her belly.

"I think we can probably afford it," said Polygon.

fin.