Porky & helpless

Chapter 2 - diet plan

So you said you worked out this morning?
So that's what those wet patches are under your armpits?!
Let me see your calorie burnt counter.
You extend out your arm, limp and lazy, as I check your fitbit.
I bought you a fitbit in an attempt to get you to realise what a gluttonous fat hog you've become.
That was six weeks ago - you've seen managed 200 steps on a one off day, averaging 40. You've even had to adjust the strap to its largest size, and even know its stuck onto your arm with fat bursting out around it.
Okay, so 260 steps, get slightly better, but that means you took that massive car to the gym that's a five minute walk...
Heart rate was averaging 140bpm, that's much better than your average, sluggish 55.. You've only ever beat 140 when I brought home 3 Maccies meals one night.
Calories burnt.. 22..
Well it was almost pointless going into the gym in that case..
*grunt* "but can I have my treat now?!" *belch, breath smelling of burger patties*
Well I guess you did go to the gym as promised.. So sure.
And so you tuck in to your pack of 6 sugary chocolate filled doughnuts, slouched on the sofa, stuffing them down in 2 bites each, making a mess of yourself with very little care.
You let out belches every few moments, and inside burps too.
Let's face it.
You're never loosing this chubby figure, it'll only get bigger from here.
You're now 330lbs, and averaging an extra 7lbs per week. That's 2 stone a month!
You're adding 400x calories to your body than what you've burnt today, and there was no talk of a second visit to the bin.
I would get up and walk out and leave you to it, but you're getting to the point of being such an incapable pig, that soon you'll need all the help and attention to get you through each day.
You'll need extra help getting the cupboards full of Carb-filled snacks, taking you out to Maccies drivethru every other day and getting you dressed and making sure your jeans just cling together at the button!
And to satisfy myself, you'll be getting so many pig related insults, and there's nothing you can do about that.
Stupid piggy.