Female, fat, and forty

chapter 5 (end)

Urrp...Oh my, excuse me. Burping is bit of a bad habit that I've developed thanks to my friends.

***

Haha well thanks. I think it's true what they say, you know, about how women can be more gross than men? My friends, most of whom are middle aged mothers too, start to turn into total slobs once they've had too many drinks. Can you blame them though? I mean, everybody needs to de-stress every once in awhile.

***

There's no doubt that I'd be lost if I didn't have the support of my friends over the years. I've made it seem like I got to where I am now on my own, but the reality is that I always turned to my friends whenever I felt stuck.

***

Well, I hope you understand now that marriage, having kids, and maintaining a household are no easy tasks! There's always so much to think about, plan, or do with those things. Not to mention taking care of my personal needs. So yeah, whenever I found myself running around trying to take care of four kids who all need different things and I also noticed that my pants are fitting any more, of course I turned to my friends for help!

***

My hubby is great, he really is. There's just some problems that are best solved through talking or being with my gals. After all, nothing beats a night full of wine, cheese, and girl talk!

Oh goodness I could go on an on about the soirees that my group and I have had over the years. The long and short of it is that we spent much of the time eating, drinking, and complaining. Yes, it's true! We like to call it "venting" but really it's just complaining about different things in our lives: husbands, kids, neighbors, politics, etc. I admit, it does help to burn off some frustration and I do feel better after getting things off my chest.

And yes, a frequent topic of conversation is body image. It's another stereotype I suppose, but again it's true in our case! Who's getting fat, who's losing weight? What's the new diet of the month? We talk about everything and anything when it comes to our bodies. Of course all of this happens while stuffing our faces with whatever snacks we can grab!

It's interesting to note how the conversation evolved over time. First we were especially critical of people outside of circle of friends who had gained some weight. Then, as time moved on and some of us started getting bigger, there was constant unconditional support. "It'll burn off in no time!" and "You look good with more curves!" were some of our favorite phrases if we didn't outright deny their weight gain. Now, however, most of us are just downright fat and we've accepted it!

Sure, we still still complain about our bodies, but I think all of us have come to terms with our weight and the reality that we probably won't ever be skinny again. We don't discourage people from dieting and we certainly celebrate someone losing weight, but in the end I think we're all comfortable with being a bunch of overweight moms. There's definitely worse things you can be!

***

I guess one of the more important things I realize through my friends is that I wasn't alone. It wasn't just me who was navigating how to raise a family. It wasn't just me who was dealing with tough choices about my career. And it wasn't just me watching the numbers on the scale creep up slowly, outgrowing my clothes, and wondering what others would think about me. Knowing that I wasn't alone made me feel a little bit better about myself.

***

Well I hope what I've said is what you wanted to hear. I appreciate you paying for dinner, and drinks, and dessert...though I'm guessing you knew taking a fat woman out to eat would be expensive right? Haha!

***

I don't understand this fetish but to each their own. Happy to help out another human.

***

Haha, oh right, of course how can I forget. Well, the last time I checked I was 212 pounds. Though, that was about a month ago so who knows what I am now. I feel like there's days where I gain 5 pounds easily!

*** ***

It sounds like you've got a good one. My unsolicited advice is this: keep her happy, treat her like a princess, and give her all the support that she needs no matter what her body does. Most importantly, just let life take its course. If she's anything like most American women she'll be putting on the pounds with time.

***

Well, thanks again for dinner. It's time I got back to the hubby. He's probably pulling his hair out with managing our kids. See what you might have to look forward to?

***

Haha, now that you mention it my hubby isn't exactly a lightweight anymore either! Maybe the secret a successful marriage is getting fat together! Maybe you ought to try that, hmm?

***

You're right. I should give him a reward. I can think of a big surprise he might like...

***

Haha, yes! I was a little bit wary at first but this turned out all right after all. See you again in the future. Take care and best of luck. Maybe there will be more of each of us next time around!