Chapter 2

6) Dear Sandra, thank you for your long email, how much time do you need to compile this email. Yes, I use a diaper all the time, I have stopped to control or plan at all I simply let everything happen, like a baby. Yes, last summer, I had to go but I could find the light switch and I panicked and I messed and wetted myself fully. My husband talked to me and he pointed out that I shouldn’t be concerned and he also find it sexual arousing to change my diapers and sees me filling up my diapers «nicely», because he enjoys me being helpless and uncontrolled as much as possible. Now I’ll tell you how it is when we change diapers. Whenever I have filled up my diaper, my Maid or he comes and rolls me into position. Than they open the diapers and start washing me all around. Even with a diaper everything is dirty between my legs, therefore they roll me on a plastic sheet with a soft paper cover. The warmth arouses me and because I really lost my ability to control myself, most of the time I start toileting, both ways. Then he or my Maid cleans me again. Since for me it is no effort, I relief myself freely. You asked me what to do, why don’t you start wearing diapers yourself and let you husband or sys take care of it. Sometimes, why I am lying without a diaper, he uses a vibrator to satisfy me. There are ones with an extra long shaft and I like it. Yesterday, I decided to be as immobile as possible... I need indeed changing very often, because of all the food and Coca-Cola. I only move my head, hand and feed myself. My arms and legs they move for me, I wonder how long does it take before I totally use the ability to move them myself ….. Love and kisses Carol


7) Dear Carol, you are just a miracle! I felt that we accept all this in a just the same way... I too feel it so strongly that my body is beautiful, arousing and sexy in all I do - am I eating, or having sex, or doing my toileting, all of it excites me myself very much, just because everything is beatiful with "fat sexy babes", and my husband feels the same. I feel my feeding, hygiene and toileting to be especially sexually arousing, and my husband feels it too. He uses to say that "fat sexy baby has two main deals everyday - to eat and to have her poo-poos to make free space for new eating", and both these parts thrill me. But Im aroused even more and have much more pleasure when im caressed sexually in all places just during my feeding and toileting. It increases greatly my feelings of both feeding or toileting and of caressing, when they are combined. Do you feel yourself so sexually aroused by your filling and changing diapers, or only by feeding?
And yes, I too begin to loose control over my body in various situations, I do like this feeling of giving up to myself. I can really "loose myself" during eating or while he massages, rubs and caresses me, both of us being so much enfascinated with it, that some times I have accidents just during these sessions because I’m too involved in them to give necessary attention to any other feeling or need, and while having such accidents I feel myself very sexy too. Sometimes I have suddenly my "poo-poos" or "wee-wees" just while I am laying naked and my husband satisfies me with vibrator, or while I am being fed. I must say that while these pursuings of sweets on my fours which my husband inspires me to make sometimes (he calls it my "excercises"), while I pursue him so desperately it can be so hard a labour for me that I can begin to have my poo-poo just in course of this process, from all this movement and shaking of my body and physical efforts. He says that I never look more sexy and "sexy-piggishly" than while crawling on my fours for my sweet reward naked or in nightgown, relieving myself during the process and still crawling forward because I so much want this eclair. Pervert, isnt he (smilings)? I feel myself very hot as the result too.
As for diapers for me, you ask why i dont use the diapers and still sit on the toilet. First, diapers are not neccessary for me really. To have such a large behind and thighs as I have now means this privilege that you can make poo-poo almost in any pose with the same result - all will remain in between my behind cheeks and legs, even without any diaper. I can have poo-poo fully naked lying or even sitting in reclining pose in my bed now and nothing of it will be on the bed, and nothing would even come out from between my behind cheeks and thighs. If you gain several tens of lbs just on your inner thighs, lower parts of behind and your feminine mound, the same would be with you. Of course if after such a reliavance I would wildly roll and move much in my bed, something would come out from under my ass-cheeks and mess my bed, but what for would I do it? So i need only the protection for my wee-wees, not to leak the bed. That is nicely done just by the roll of absorbing cloth, inserted under my feminine mound and pressed to my sex lips. My fat assets themselves hold and press this roll of cloth from all the sides and keeps it pressed to my pussy quite firmly, if again I dont roll and move. When I make wee-wee all goes just in this cloth, nothing reaches the bed (for assurance there is always paper towels under me in necessary places, for additional control). Only if I have wee-wee for a second time in the same cloth without being changed, some can leak further onto my bed
So to be so fat in her below means for a girl certain advantages too! I can lie with my bare behind exposed to the whole world and have my poo-poo safely, and it wouldnt be even seen from aside, nothing would come on the outer surface of my ass and legs. We’ve checked it, its fully invisibly from aside, even if to look just on my bare behind and thighs in the process of my pooping or afterwards. One can feel smell or hear some noise, but its nothing to see untill one would spread apart my behind cheeks and legs. I have some fun to feel it that just the fatness of my huge ass works as my diaper.
Then, I still "use" the toilet (which means that I just make my poo-poo in between my behind-cheeks and thighs and overflow with my wee-wee my pussy wetting my thighs, while sitting on the toilet seat - almost nothing goes into the toilet bowl) and not use diapers because my husband likes to see how Il doing it naked in various poses and situations. We are aroused by the situation when I do it on the toilet, because its a many-staged process, each stage of which emphasizes how fat and helpless I am. I’ll describe details later... He wouldnt be so aroused if I just fill my diapers, especially because there is nothing to see in any pose here, and he often likes to watch "how it goes out from the body of his girl". Of course he cant watch it when i do it sitting on the toilet, but then we use other ways.
As for sexual problems. Its not I who needs sex with "real penetration", its so effortous to stand on my fours for me that it obscures all pleasure. I can turn on very strongly still, but I cant more ne satisfied in this pose, because im so tired that i cant receive it, and because with present dimensions of my behind, thighs and all fat of my pussy lips his "real" penetration is real for him but not very real for ME. the end of his dick has full pleasure to go in my love channel ("as it was meant to be"), all other part of his dick rubs over all fat layers of my pussy lips, so he receives full pleasure, but I receive pleasure only from the part which gets inside, and its not at all the biggest part, due to all fatness and thickness of my pussy lips. So I am much more pleased with dildos or fingering, especially when it is combined with feeding etc. But he loves this "real penetration" and the problem is that I feel that I should soon have no fun with this pose (in any other pose no "real penetration" is possible with my body type even symbolically in my present situation).
Oh so much for now, Im somehow tired and sleepy. Now he’ll "feed me to sleep" as usually! Your description of how you lie in bed moving only hands, while your maid and loving husband move your legs and arms sounds so luxuriously and temptatingly for me!
Love and kisses,
sincerely yours and fed very well
Sandra




After a long break in pen-pals we began anew this summer


8) Dear Sandra, I am back. But I need to write you what happened in the last year. I was the biggest stuffing and feeding frenzy you could imagine. Two week ago, we celebrated 650 pounds that is near 100 lbs gain since last year. How did this happen, we stared out and our goal was 600 but I just wanted to eat, eat and eat and get fatter and fatter and I enjoyed myself so much that I wanted more and more, I want to be the fat whale my husbands wants and I wanted to be fatter than you and you weighted already 600 pound when we started so I need to work harder or better eat harder. During this time, my husband told me not to move at all, so every calorie gets transformed into fat. So I did nothing more than moving my arm and chewing. This was so great; I eat and slept and eat. At first I gained all over the body, but than as I wanted it my thighs, ass and stomach exploded. So I gained the majority below the waist, though I don’t have a waist. Last week, we continued the feeding but he told me today I need to move and earn my food. First I loved, but than he held the burger a few centimeters about my mouth; I couldn’t get it with the tongue so I moved my fat arms, but than he moved it a little bit higher, than to the left and I tried to move but I can’t move my body without help now so I tried and immediately I started sweating and breathing hard and than I had enormous poo-poos and wee-wees for almost 10 minutes. Immediately my husband started feeding me so that I calmed down, he was so aroused but for me it was very hard to get calm again. I wanted to write this because it was so an important moment of helplessness I need to share that with you. What happened with you in the last year? Everything fine? Kisses, Carol.


9) O, dear Carol, hallo! I was so glad to see yoy again, i was afraid something has happened to you. This your letter was wonderful. I fully and deliberately enjoy my own helplessness too now... I'm over 670 now, I've gained much from my constant feedings duting last 15 months... I'm much similar to you in my tastes. I gain still. My bodily life occupies more and more place in my feelings and arousement. It turns me on. My eating, digestion, relieving myself, hygiene and body care are becomimg the real centre of my life, no less if not more than sex... Its because I'm admired for all these aspects, Im helped with all of them, and I am thrilled by my own fatness, lazyness and being overspoiled and pampered with all... I kiss you, You are my wonderful soulmate. Sandra.

10) Dear Sandra, was it really so long that we didn’t write each other, but I am so consumed by myself that I lost control of time, I really never know what time it is since I didn’t leave my room for quiet some time and I have no really interest in the world outside my room. I hope this is not sounding strange to you, but I only think about eating, since I lost control about my poo-poos and wee-wees, they only come to my attention when my husband or my maid tells me how enormous they are and they should be with all the food I am eating. I am not wearing any diapers anymore since there are none in my size and I don’t need them because I am so enormously fat. Everything is done for me, I am not doing anything myself, I told my husband that if he wants to make me fatter he needs to feet me because I don’t want to move my arms therefore I am lying more or less motionless in bed only thing I move is my mouth. Are you still standing on your fourth so your husband can have sex, I told him if he wants to have sex he can use of my fat folds and have fun but I will not move an inch to accommodate him! Are you still using the toilet or are you relieving yourself in bed? Are you still walking on your fours or even on two feeds? But I still like makeup, everyday my maid applies huge amount of makeup, powder, eye shadow and I still dye my hair blond and form pigtails like a 13 year old girl. I sometimes still wear clothing but I must be pink, they are all custom-made and have lots of ruffles. Are you still dressing up? Greetings and kisses, Carol


11) Dear Carol,
I’m afraid my last letter has never reached you, as I still have no your answer, so I reeat my mail and send it twice for safety. Please let me know if you have recived it, i do very miss our penpals and want to know news from yout luxurious fat baby life. It is nothing strange that you loose control of time, all our days are as one bliss of eating, pampering and bodily pleasures. It sounds exciting and arousing and inspiring for me too that you have given up any control over your poo-poos and wee-wees. But does it mean that you’ve lost the very feeling of your relieving yourself and of the physical pleasures of this process too? If it so, thats pitiful I think. I myself just cant imagine my life without the great bodily joys of my pooping and pissing myself and without the erotic thrill which my toiletings and accidents give to me. The ecxretive acts of my body are the source of great arousement, pleasure and excitement for me and for my husband in many ways. Sometimes I do really loose control over my peeing and pooping too, but I always feel how these functions are performed by my body, how my pee and poop are coming out through my secret holes, and these feelings and sensations make the great and thrilling part of my life. Just the physical pleasures of peeing and pooping are great by themselves, and the fact that I fully expose the process of my excretion to my lover, or that wet and mess myself spontaneously just for self-indulgence, and the feeling that I am adored, totally helped, praised, caressed and encouraged while doing so, - it all makes me very positively excited and sometimes wildly hot from lust... To say the truth I’m just fascinated by my own body, its toilet activities and the fact that I’m so totally overspoiled, self-indulgent and exhibitionist with them, and so totally accepted and admired with all of this by my lover.


Some mornings I’m helped by my husband to stand up from my bed and to waddle one or two steps to move myself onto my portable toilet which stands near my bed. We do it just for fun to demonstrate and express my fatness and lazyness, not to make my waste going into the toilet bowl. Now I never can reach my toilet seat «in time», before the beginning of my going. In fact I always begin to pee and poop myself just in course of getting up from the bed, so i’m lowering on my toilet seat with the pee already streaming out of my fat pussy and poo-poo coming from my ass-hole... While lowering my body onto the toilet seat and afterwards while sitting on it I just continue to piss and poop myself. Very little part of what I make falls into the toilet bowl, because of my fatness, my ass-cheeks, thighs and pussy lips are too fat to part from each other. However far I spread my knees, all the room between them is still overfilled by folded flesh of my thighs.... Sitting on the toilet I am just overfilling my immense ass-crack with my poop while I pee through my obese unspred pussy lips just on my fat unparted thighs, pressed to each other by their own broadness. So my pee flows by my legs down to my feet and makes a little pool around them... So when I’m done and helped to get up from the toilet, I raise up from the toilety seat with almost all my poop remained spreading in my ass-crack and in between my thighs, and with my legs and pussy leaked with pee, and with a pool of piss just under my feet, having left almost nothing in the toilet bowl. While I’m helped to move back into my bed, sometimes just from the straining of this movement my body suddenly produces the last portion of poop and my pussy slit releases a last squirt of pee through my lips on my legs... I’m propped on my bed, exhausted, pissed and pooped abundantly and very hot, and he gives me an orgasm with his hands even before fully cleaning me.
I like when he digs his hand deeply in my nether fat and teases there my clit and slit, while massaging my belly with his other hand and kissing my nipples, just while I’m sitting on the toilet, pissing and pooping. I moan and fart loudly...


So you see my trips onto the toilet are not toiletings in fact but our game which expresses and manifestates my fatness, helplessness and my queen-baby-piggy style. Usually I just relieve myself while lying in bed, on my side or in reclining, fully naked without any diapers, but sometimes I have a sponge in between my thighs pressed just to my pussy. This sponge receives my pee so its easier to clean me and change my bed afterwards.


«Are you still walking on your fours or even on two feet?». No, never more. Its too much labour for me even to stay on my fours, I dont perform it anymore. One or two steps with his help very rarely and rolling and moving in my bed (or near it) without even standing up on my fours are all my movements now. I dont make any makeup and never wear any clothing now, but I like to have pigtails too, just as you do!


Now my questions (besides that if you get pleasant sensations while going). How they lubricate and turn and move your body from side to side and change your pose to prevent bedsores? Do you like your clit, belly and breasts to be stimulated while you are fed? How they clean and change you? What time you usually remain messed and wetted till you are cleaned, and how you accept it? Dont your tender nether holes itch sometimes and what they do for you in this occasion? What food do you like best? You tell me that your poopoos and weewees are enormous, so how large are they if its possible to be more precise here? How often do you make them? O, so much for this poll: )
Love, Sandra