chapter 8

- - Present Day - -

"Your football buddy Jared a douche," Dan yelled to his brother as he took off his football Jersey leaving only a tight undershirt stretching to cover his flab. Lex didn't reply. Dan heard the shower running so he assumed his brother couldn't hear him, "well if that's the case," Dan thought rolling off the couch and hobbling over to the kitchen, "guess he wont mind me eating those cookies he tried to hide ..." He reached down and found a nearly whole pack of double-stuff Oreos hiding behind the Windex and Drain cleaner. "mmmm..." Dan sighed as he started shoveling Oreo after Oreo into his salivating mouth. "God these are good... cant believe I waited 25 years before having them" He had already finished the first of 3 row and got up to get a glass of milk when a car pulled into the driveway.

"Where are the dam cups," Dan shouted looking though the pantry. He spotted some plastic ones on the top shelf and consumed by his desire to dunk the Oreos into a real glass of whole milk he reached for a chair and started climbing. Dan was so preoccupied with getting the cups that he hadn't even heard his girlfriend come in and walk into the kitchen. Dan, now balancing on a chair with his one good leg, belly exposed with his arms outstretched, started to climb down with the cups in one hand and the Oreos in another. This exact moment, when Dan was essentially nude from having his basketball shorts fallen down and his shirt ridden up, his girl friend walked into the pantry and screamed "DANNY!!" in an excited and high-pitched voice. Startled Dan slipped off the chair throwing the cookies and cups in the air and landed face up on the floor, belly completely covered in sweat and Oreo crumbs.

Dan's girlfriend ran to his side to help him up. "DANNY, Oh my god are you OKAY?!" Dan tried desperately to quickly cover his newly acquired girth, but Jen had already put her hands all over it trying to help him up.

"IM FINE," Dan yelled shoving Jenna backwards into the shelves.

"What the hell was that for," Jen retorted.

"I...I.. I'm sorry Jenny I... just didn't want you to see me like this..." Dan ran his hand along the curvature of his belly and gave it a gentle slap. "See you like what," Jen replied "My boyfriend? I mean sure you put on a little weight, but you've been in a lot of pain and cant exercise... its only natural. Plus it's not that bad to have a little extra Dan to love."

"A little!?" Dan remarked, "Try 36 pounds of me!"

Jenna giggled as she moved closer to her fidgeting boyfriend. "You gained 36 pounds? ... In two and a half weeks? ... How is that even possible?...

Dan's face went red as he leaned against the wall and slumped to the floor. "I DON'T KNOW", he yelled grabbing his tummy and giving it a shake, "I mean it started out with a few sandwiches and get-well chocolates that the housekeeper brought me and apparently it ended up with me stuffing my face with double-stuff Oreo's. I DON'T KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME!! I just cant stop ***ing eating. I mean I tell my self to stop. I tell myself I have already eaten enough, I mean once someone gets through an entire loaf of sourdough and an empties a box of mac-n-cheese you think they would be full, but the second I try to stop myself its like my body cant think of anything else.... Its like the forbidden fruit, but instead of fruit it's a glaze doughnut -- candy-coated and dipped in chocolate!"

Jenna let out a small giggle with a big grin on her face.

"Im glad you find this funny!! You're the one that's stuck with a manatee for a boyfriend."

Jenna kneeled down and sat next to Dan. " I don't care if you don't have a 6 pack," she said, smiling as she picked up an Oreo from the package and started to nibble on it. " I don't need you to be an Adonis for me to be happy... I just want you to be happy.... And if a happy Danny is a rounder Danny then rounder it is!" She took the Oreo she was nibbling on and put it in Dan's wide-open mouth... "Plus you look cute with a punch, make you look more lovable."

Dan couldn't believe what he was hearing. "She likes it" Dan kept repeating to himself... " She really likes it! And she really loves me" He felt so relieved at that moment that he proposed to her right on the spot. They had been going out since freshman year in college and he had been planning on asking her for months, but never in any of his wildest fantasies was he practically half naked, wearing a cookie-covered undershirt, and barley able to squeeze into his elastic basketball shorts.

" Yes," she spitted out, overcome with tears and laughter. "Better hold off on those tux measurements until closer to the wedding..." she jested, feeding Dan another Oreo and rubbing his now fairly ample sized belly. Dan laughed eager to see what the next few months would entail.