Chapter 2 - designated fat friend

Two days later, the twins sat at the kitchen table, mulling over ideas to get what they thought they rightfully deserved; a spot on the dance floor at Spazio's.

"We could die our hair!"

"We could wear thongs?"

"We could, uh...makeup more!"

"We could...do...that."

Jane's head sunk into her hands. "This is useless. We've tried all of those things before. We need something new, Lindsey."

Feeling just as dejected as her sister, Lindsey hunched her back and watched as Mandy made friends with a family-size bag of Fritos Jane had purchased earlier.

"You know, why don't I go pick up one of those guy mags? The ones where they grunt about what gets them going?" Lindsey said, feeling a spark on inspiration.

"Eh-he. Why don't you take the cheaper route and hit one a website about the same thing?" Jane said in a mocking tone.
Shrugging, Lindsey got up and headed toward the bedroom where her Windows 98 compatible laptop was stored. In passing, she noticed that half of the Fritos had found their way into Mandy's mouth. Mandy seemed oblivious, more focused on watching Judge Joe Brown and blaring some pop song through her earphones.

***

Three hours later, Lindsey burst out of the bedroom in the direction of her sister, who was reading the paper.

"I think I've got our answer! Okay, Jane, what do all hot chicks have that we don't?" Lindsey said excitedly.

"Money?"

" No."

"...Sugar Daddy?"

"No! Isn't obvious?" Lindsey said, sitting down next to Jane. "We need a DFF!"

"What the hell is that?" Jane retorted incredulously.

"DFF. D.F.F. Designated fat friend!" Lindsey said, her nearly reaching shouting range as Mandy passed by the table on the way to the fridge.

"Sounds counterproductive to me, sis..." Jane responded.

"No, I've been reading all about it. It's all mental or whatever. See, here in the paper, this article. Hot chicks always have a DFF they go everywhere with, you know. With the fatty there, they make hotties look even better! That's our ticket into Spazio's!" Lindsey finished, overjoyed. In the meantime, Mandy moved from rummaging in the fridge to the freezer.

"That's actually a great idea! What sucks is that we don't have one, and we don't have many friends to begin with anyway." Jane said, trying to think through this logically.

"What about that Carol from your office? She's a heifer, isn't she?" Lindsey questioned.

"Yeah, but I can't stand being around her for more than a minute. And yes, even if that meant getting into Spazio's." Jane said, finishing with a sigh. Mandy's digging through the freezer got louder as her movements became more desperate---and irritating.

"Mandy, what are you looking for?" Jane asked, hoping she'd stop.

"Ice cream! I've got a killer craving right now, dude," Mandy responded, her head still in the freezer.

"Eh-he. You ate the last of it, dummy," Jane said, cynicism laid on thick. Shaking her head, she returned to the matter at hand. "I guess we'll just have to troll some of the cheap bars for some gullible chump, huh?"

Lindsey reluctantly nodded. "Yup. I've got no other thoughts..."
"Ah-ha! Ice cream sandwich! SCORE!" Mandy said triumphantly, spinning around to reveal a soft, exposed midriff. Jane and Lindsey looked at each other, then back to their slightly chubby roommate.

Then, it clicked.