chapter 4 - year one part 4

One week later was Chloe and Jeremy's wedding anniversary. Both of them didn't care much for fancy restaurants so they decided to go to Frank's Pizza to celebrate. However, Jeremy suggested that they wear formal attire to, in his words, "make it special occasion". He also requested that Chloe wear the little black dress that she used to wear when they were dating. In turn, he would let her pick out his shirt and tie.

Chloe would do anything to please Jeremy, but as she pulled out her dress from the depths of the closet, she began to worry that it might not fit anymore. The dress, a size 2 was comfortable, elegant, and one of Chloe's favorites although she hadn't worn it since before the wedding. Before trying it on, she scrutinized her naked appearance in the mirror. Her breasts remained mostly unchanged, as her body seemed content to continue distributing fat around her lower half. The pooch that she first noticed in April had clearly grown. Her belly was now large enough that shaking it with her hands produced a modest jiggle, which horrified her. She also felt that she could now appropriately classify her hips as a growing set of love handles. Looking at her backside, she guessed that it too had expanded, widening more than jutting outwards. She could have continued examining herself, but she knew that she had to at least attempt to wear the dress.

Chloe managed to pull the dress up her body, taking special note of how it clung to her widened hips and bulging belly. She was able to zip it up in the back, but the fit was very tight and she felt and looked like a stuffed sausage. She stared at herself in the mirror in complete disbelief, still having difficulty processing just how chunky she looked in this tight outfit. It was humiliating and she was sure that Jeremy would reconsider going out once he saw his cow of a wife.

Instead, she was greeted with "Wow, you look absolutely lovely. It's good to see you in that dress again. Are you ready to go?"

Chloe nodded, not knowing how else to respond to Jeremy's compliment. She began to think that even though Jeremy outwardly praised her, he was probably just acting like a gentleman to cover up how he was secretly disappointed with how much she had let herself go. She felt so ashamed and despondent. On the ride to Frank's and during dinner, Chloe let Jeremy do most of the talking. They shared a large pepperoni pizza and matched each other slice for slice with each of them having three.

"Chloe, I can't believe it's been a whole year. We've gone through so much and I know it's been tough for you to adjust. I just want you to know that I think you're amazing and I'm so glad that you're my wife. I love you Chloe Cuthbert."

Chloe, still ruminating about her weight, put on a half-smile, forced her eyes upward to meet Jeremy's, and tepidly replied: "I love you too, Jeremy."

Jeremy smiled, but detected a hint of sadness in Chloe's tone. However, knowing Chloe's distaste for publicly discussing personal topics, especially emotional ones, he decided to postpone asking her until they returned home. Looking down, he saw the two remaining pieces of pizza.

"The rest is all yours, honey" he said, placing one of the slices on her plate.

Chloe stared at the slice of pizza. She looked over the cheese, noticing the few spots where the mozzarella had browned in the oven. She mindlessly picked up the slice and began to eat it. Her mind seemed to go blank while her reflexes took over, pushing her to consume more and more. Indeed, Chloe barely savored the delicious taste of the pizza as she gobbled it up. After she finished, she seemed to snap back into reality and took stock of what she had done. She was stunned at just how easily her mind seemed to go on auto-pilot. Her behavior was so automatic, as though she didn't even have a choice about whether to eat more or not.

She looked down to see her bloated belly sticking out even further than it had before. "I am so disgusting" she thought to herself.

Meanwhile Jeremy was in the middle of describing how he had a recent dispute with co-worker. Chloe was barely attending to the story as she was so focused on what she had just done. Reflecting on how out of control her eating was made her feel so powerless, so defeated. She looked at the last slice of pizza. "What's the point of resisting? I've already acted like a fat pig so I might as well just go whole hog". Without a moment of hesitation, she grabbed the slice and started to eat.

Jeremy continued with his anecdote while Chloe nodded politely and scarfed down the last slice. She finished a few minutes later and rubbed her swollen gut. She was incredibly full and gassy, managing to stifle a burp and saving herself from any additional embarrassment (not that it would have mattered at the time, she thought). She examined the empty pizza tray in front of her. It was only one year ago that she and Jeremy discovered to Frank's. At that time, she ate two pieces of pizza and politely declined a third. Now, she ate five slices and was bursting out of her dress. Chloe figured that if she kept going at this rate, she might actually be a contender for King Kahuna Challenge; the thought created an intense degree of shame.

Jeremy and Chloe arrived back home. As they made their way to the bedroom, Jeremy received stopped to take a phone call while Chloe continued on to the bedroom and stood in front of the vanity mirror. Looking at her bloated self, she almost felt like laughing, still in disbelief of what she had done to herself. Out of morbid curiosity, she decided to step on the scale for the first time in months.

"141. Sixteen pounds heavier than one year ago" she said aloud to no one in particular. Her eyes quickly welled up with tears and she began to cry loudly. "I am such a failure! Jeremy is probably disgusted with me." she sobbed.

Just then, Jeremy came into the bedroom and saw Chloe crying.

"Hey, what's going on, Chloe?"

"Go away and don't look at me! I'm such an ugly fat cow. Do you want to know what your new wife weighs? Hmm? One hundred and forty-one ***ing pounds! Don't get used to seeing me in this dress because I'm about to burst out of it. I'm sorry that you married a pig who let herself go this much in only a year" cried Chloe.

"Chloe, please calm down. You need to..."

"No! Do you see this?" said Chloe, putting two hands on her round belly. "This is the result of months of eating like a hog! I've stuffed my face for the last time. You don't deserve to have a fat wife. I can't bear the thought of you leaving me. I..."

"Listen to me!" shouted Jeremy. He rarely raised his voice, so this abrupt change caused Chloe stop wailing and pay attention. "I want you to hear this loud and clear." He pulled her face close to his, brushed aside her strawberry-blonde hair and stared deeply into green, tear-filled eyes. "I love you more than anything. I vowed to support you for the rest of our lives. I will never leave you and certainly not because you gained a few pounds."

"But look at me! You can't tell me that you find me attractive. You may not leave me, but you can't be happy." Chloe retorted.

"Our relationship isn't just about physical attraction. What I want most of all is for you to be happy and comfortable, both with me and with yourself. I think it's great that you've been enjoying your time with Lisa and if that brings along a few pounds with it then so be it. The question is whether or not you are satisfied with that."

"I have enjoyed my time with Lisa and I guess if I'm being honest, a lot of the fun comes from eating. Part of me wants to continue it but another part of me worries that I'd continue to gain and fall short of some kind of standard. It sounds silly, but I worry that I'm disappointing others, especially you" she explained.

"Chloe, this is your life and you only get one shot. If you don't live your life then someone else will do it for you. I think you'll be a lot happier when you start living by your own values, not someone else's. And if those values involve you eating what you want, then eat! Don't let me or anybody else stand in your way."

As Chloe considered Jeremy's advice, she began to calm down a bit. "You're right. I've spent my whole life trying to live up to standards that others set for me that I never actually formed my own. I need to figure out my values and start living according to them."

Chloe began to feel a lot better, as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She even felt a touch of empowerment. "I don't think you ever answered my question though. Do you find this attractive?" she said coyly, pointing at her distended stomach.

"Maybe this will answer your question" said Jeremy as he embraced her tightly and kissed her passionately. "Let's get this off of you." He began to unzip Chloe's tight fitting dress and as he did so he grabbed the two pieces and violently ripped them apart, creating a large tear in the fabric.

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" said a shocked Chloe.

"I don't think you'll be needing that dress anymore." With that, he threw her gently onto the bed and began to undress her. She quivered at his touch, still in half-shock at how physical he had been. He pulled off his shirt and pants and joined her in the bed. The two had brief foreplay, making out and fondling each other's bodies. Chloe moaned when Jeremy rubbed her plump belly and squeezed her now fuller butt. The foreplay quickly evolved into love-making, which they agreed afterwards was the best they had since their honeymoon.

"Happy anniversary, Chloe" said Jeremy, staring into his wife's eyes.

"Happy anniversary, Jeremy. And thank you for helping me realizing something."

"What's that?"

Chloe stood from the bed and walked over the vanity mirror. She surveyed herself briefly and then turned back to Jeremy and said: "That I still have room to grow."