chapter 3

Amy sat waiting for the lecture theatre to empty. She was always first to arrive and last to leave, careful to ensure she got her chosen spot in the back corner. Those narrow seats weren't easy for a big girl to navigate and, at 320 lbs, Amy was a very big girl indeed. She didn't want anyone to witness it: the fat girl wedging her enormous ass into a space barely big enough to contain it, her blubber spilling over the fixed arm rests. And then there was heaving herself up at the end of the lecture, her round face sweaty and red from the heat of the room, her whole body aching from being in a restricted space for so long and the arm rests cutting into the soft folds of her sides. Her worst nightmare were the few occasions she had been late; having to shuffle past other students, the futility of sucking in her pendulous belly to stop it brushing against them, the embarrassment when she inevitably knocked a book or pen off someone's desk with her ample rear.

Amy spent her days trying to be as invisible as her considerable size would allow. She tried to conceal her soft and doughy form as best she could, wearing almost exclusively baggy black t-shirts and sweatpants. However, the stress of keeping up her grades and the isolation of living away from home meant that she was continuing to blimp outward. The t-shirt that had fit her billowy and tent-like but a few months ago now struggled to contain her ballooning body and her sweatpants were being stretched to their limits.

As she attempted to waddle out of the lecture theatre unnoticed her lecturer Dr. Barton looked up from his papers. "Miss Miller, I was hoping to have a word. Have you secured an internship for the summer yet?"

"N-no, not yet," she stuttered, her eyes darting nervously to the floor.

Amy had applied for dozens of internships and was met with many enthusiastic invitations to interviews from fashion houses keen to meet the promising designer of her portfolio but their enthusiasm always faded the minute they saw her. Despite her grades putting her at the top of her class she was now in danger of finishing her first year without a single internship.

Dr Barton sighed. "Look Amy, you're a smart girl so I'm just going to say it to you straight: you've got talent but you're never going to even get through the front door of this industry unless you drop the weight."

She continued to stare at the floor but she could feel the blood rushing to her head.

"I'm not trying to upset you but this is a cut throat, beauty obsessed industry and I'd hate to see what could be a promising career squandered because no one will take you seriously."

As Amy shuffled home her head was still reeling, the blood pumping in her ears like a siren going off in her mind.

She knew that Fridays where usually Chloe's date night with her boyfriend Amir but she checked the flat was empty just to be sure. Once she was positive that she was quite alone she went to the kitchen and loaded up on the junk food she had stashed away.

She opened a box of cupcakes and licked the frosting off one and then stuffed the rest of the cake into her mouth. The other five cupcakes quickly followed the same fate. Next she ripped open a package of jelly filled doughnuts, taking greedy bites of the calorie laden deep fried dough and wiping away the jelly that spurted out and rolled down her double chin.

Licking sugar from her lips and grease from her chubby fingers, she went to the kitchen for more fattening treats. She returned with her flabby arms full of bags of crisps and a pint of cookie dough ice cream.

She was beginning to feel full so adjusted her sweat pants to get more comfortable, letting her bloated belly spill out from its confines and ooze over her lap then she continued her feast, her plump fingers shovelling great handfuls of crisps into her ravenous mouth.

She ate with a frenzy that far surpassed her usual binges. Her jaw ached, she felt like her belly might burst but still she took bite after bite, desperate to stop the screaming in her mind. To numb the pain of her lecturer's words. To eat her emotions into oblivion.

She was midway through the ice cream when she heard a key turning in the lock. She sat frozen as Chloe caught her in the shameful act.

Chloe stood for a moment taking in the scene before her: her obese roommate sat on the couch surrounded by a mountain of empty cake boxes and crisp bags, her clothes stained with ice cream and covered with a litter of crumbs, her overstuffed belly peaking out obscenely from a t-shirt that she was practically bursting out of.

The truth was Amy and Chloe didn't hit it off straight away, that was just a lie the now thin Amy told herself in an effort to forgot her fattened past. Indeed, at this point Chloe barely knew her. She had constantly invited her out to parties and tried to organise roommate activities at the beginning of the year but Amy had shunned all her attempts at friendship, leading a furtive and secretive existence instead. Eventually Chloe just gave up trying with her weird American roommate.

Chloe continued to stare at Amy but there was only compassion in her eyes. "Oh, honey, why do you do this to yourself?"

She was stunned by Chloe's kindness. She couldn't believe she had let anyone see her like this: the ugly, shameful truth of her out of control appetite. Realising she had nothing left to lose, she began to cry.