chapter 6: flight from the flames of england

"So... the witch-finders are really after me?" Ruelli asked. We lay together on the floor of her feasting hall, entangled in a post-coital embrace.
"I fear so. I have it on absolute authority: Sussex is the most reliable man I know, and it is he who warned me," I fonfirmed
"I'm immortal, not invulnerable. I must flee the country. If the witch-finders uncover my alchemy lab, I'll burn. Even the king won't be able to protect me."
"We'll leave tonight," I said. "We can charter a ship from the Norfolk coast. It'll have to be a large one..." I added, admiring the Baroness's multi-ton figure.
She got up then, and stretched luxuriantly. Were it not for the strange magics she took from the philosopher's stone, immobility would have surely claimed her by now. As it was, she moved with an unusual grace, despite the massive encumbrance presented by her body.
"I'd tell you that you don't have to come with me... but I'm too selfish for that. I need you, love, and I won't refuse your decision to accompany me into exile." She blushed a delicate rose-crimson.
"We should get moving: we need to prepare your possessions for travel," I sighed. I admit I wished to spend longer exploring her body and resting on the inestimable bulge of her capacious stomach. But time, of course, was against us.

We packed in a hurry and I jogged to the nearest way-station to send for a coach. I was careful to ensure that the messenger understood that it must be the largest vehicle available and that it should be drawn by as many strong animals as the yolk would allow. Ruelli was, after all, far too heavy to travel in anything less sturdy.

As we waited for the coach, the Baroness donned her usual finery- though the quantity of gemstones and silk outstripped anything I had seen her wear before: she knew we would not be returning and that it was vital she equip herself with as many valuables as possible, I suppose. Or perhaps her insensate love of pricey goods had simply reached a new high-water mark.

After what felt like an age, a knock came at the front door. Expecting the coach, I swung it open... and was immediately disappointed: five heavily armed men in the typical costume of witch hunters stood menacingly before me. The fellow in front was pointing a cross-bow directly at my face.

Being a high-born English gentleman, I was not completely defenceless. No man could accuse me of leaving home without equipping myself with a decent blade!
"We're here to see the Baroness Ru-" began the lead witch-finder, before I struck him a scything blow across the midriff with the edge of my weapon, rendering him at once harmless.
"Ruelli! Make haste! They're here!" I yelled into the manor. The remaining witch hunters were drawing their own weapons now, though the element of surprise was still on my side. Two swift blows disabled the next two would be assailants, leaving but three... then Ruelli herself took care of the rest. She came barrelling out the door at full speed, yelling defiantly, and only I had the wit to dive out the way in time. After all, I had seen her before and was not shocked by her size. Our adversaries, on the other hand, were surprised and, hence, slow to react. Several tons of woman (given motive force by the powerful magic of alchemical substances) smashed into them with crippling force. As soft as the Baroness was, her weight was sufficient to break bones and bruise skin as she rolled over our attackers.
"That," she said breathlessly, "was oddly satisfying."
I carefully wiped off my sword and re-sheathed it. "I'll be happy as long as we don't have to do it again. Those men aren't fatally wounded, which means they'll report to their superiors, who'll send more force against us next us."
"They won't have the chance," Ruelli grinned. "Look! Our coach approaches! We'll be out to sea and out of their reach by noon tomorrow."

*

Despite the dire circumstances, riding for Norfolk in a coach with Ruelli was a truly pleasurable experience. In spite of the vehicle's unusual size and cavernous compartment, my fat Baroness filled up every inch of available space. Naturally, this meant that I spent the whole journey with her vast gut pressing me against the wall of the riding compartment. Any discomfort this might have occasioned was, in my estimation, far outweighed by the delights of being pressed so firmly into her seductively yielding girth.

*

In the end, it didn't even taken until noon to charter and board a ship. By sunrise, we had put England's green and verdant shores behind us on a ship heading into the East. For a hefty sum of gold, we had secured passage in the boat's largest cabin. Perhaps even more importantly, we had purchased the acquiescent silence of the sailors: they would tell no-one in Britain that we had been aboard the vessel, or whence it took us.

Ruelli was below decks, sating her appetite on the last fresh food we'd see for many weeks. Until the end of our long voyage, we'd have to make do with the carefully-preserved goods that sailing folk are habituated to. The meal she was eating was a recipe from the new land to which we were heading. I stood near the prow, meanwhile, and watched my native shoreline retreat into sea mists. Soon, I would join the ex-Baroness and feed her until our shared cabin became an impossibly snug fit. For now, however, I quieted my desire and bade the Old Country a fond but optimistic farewell.

*

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, IN WHICH RUELLI BECOMES THE FATTEST WOMAN IN THE EAST AND REDWELL REINVENTS HIMSELF.