A teens story

Chapter 1 - a true story of a conflicted fat lover

Please excuse spelling errors also any advice would be freat
*not a fantasy story it is my story and is true so id love it if anyone read till the end and gave me advice




When it all started I was 12. When puberty started to hit I began to have a fascination with soft bellied people. Not gigantic 600 pound men but big dudes. I never really thought much of it.
I don't exactly remember how but I stumbled upon the gainer community.
After exploring the community I discovered that I was gay and love soft fat jiggly bellies. As a sexually confused 13 year old who was not fat by any means and pretty tall too I was really unhappy. I remember the most embarrassing moment of my life was in 8th grade. At this time I watched gainer videos pretty much every day and couldn't stop. In my science class I sat next to a guy named Danny.
Danny liked to wear soccer jerseys. He had a position he loved to sit in where he payed back in his chair, exposing his oh so attractive chub.
So every time he moved into the position I adjusted my eyes to get a better view and one day I was gazing at it wishing it was mine and I must've turned my head a little to far, because he turned his head and we locked eyes I was clearly staring at his Belly.
So I never got to see that sexy position ever again.
All I wanted was a belly. It didn't have to be anything huge but I wanted a little something to grab onto.
Now you're probably thinking this is where he starts to gain and get bigger, but no.
This is my little gainer autobiography so I'm going to tell you what really happened.
I was 14(just turned 15 when writing this) when a ton of conflicts popped up.
Not to sound entitled or anything but I was fairly popular I'd established myself as the best singer in my choir and best actor in my drama class.
So I was and am a popular person to this day. What always scared me about gaining was, what will those people think of me when we go to the lake or the pool.
My other conflict was that man boobs are not something I like that much but despite being skinny my man boobs are a decent size. And I'm already ridiculed for it. So If I start gaining and I get bigger man boobs I can only imagine all the commentssome of my friends will have.
And I can laugh all I want at these comments but I take deep burns when someone comments on my moobs.
My worst fear for if I start gaining is my family. My mom and dad are always saying to family friends that I'm the next Broadway star. Then I think to myself that I never see any 250, 300 pound people dancing and singing on a Broadway stage. So I'm conflicted by the career I want (to be an actor) and my the people at school.
When I try to start eating or drink lost of soda to bloat up I think to myself, just wait till your in college and you don't know that many people so you can gain without people knowing what you used to be like.
I can just play it off like freshman 15 and go on and do an office job which I wouldn't mind but I love to act and sing.
But I know I'll gain eventually but again if you guys could give me some encouragement maybe chat with me that'd be great.
I need help figuring out whether to start gaining now or wait.
I'll take any advice from anyone thank you for reading till the end