chapter 5

The fattening movement continued to spread. From city to city, and county by county, people were ditching their diets and adding new pounds to their frames. Twenty pounds wasn't even noticeable any more. Thirty pounds seemed to be the new minimum gain. Gains of forty or fifty pounds became commonplace. People would brag about their gains, and "keeping up with the Jones" took on a whole new meaning.

Politicians found that it wasn't about who made the biggest promises, but who grew the biggest bellies. Female politicians weren't going to be left out, by any means. One lady mayoral candidate gained sixty pounds, most of it across her hips and butt. Her new slogan, "Sturdy Hips Mean a Sturdy City" took her from ten points behind to a comfortable win on election day. In the city of Jonesburg, a candidate named Greg Brown was running for mayor, and gaining as much weight as he could as fast as he could. Two weeks before the election, he put posters all around town showing him standing on a scale, wearing boxer briefs and an undershirt, smiling into the camera. The slogan across it said, "As Greg grows, so does Jonesburg." He won handily. A big-bellied governor from a nearby state pulled ahead of his slender opponent with the slogan, "Never trust a skinny cook. Or a skinny politician."

Another governor, being an astute politician, gained eighty pounds. His opponent couldn't overcome his own fast metabolism in time and only gained twenty-five pounds. Eighty pounds took it easily. Governors across the country wasted no time in porking up. Campaign advisors made sure that their governors, and their spouses, had fresh baked goods on their desks constantly. Campaign dinners were no longer known as "the rubber chicken" circuit. Instead, candidates saw opportunities to connect with their constituents by stuffing themselves. These events became huge money makers for the local caterers. Seven course meals on the campaign trail became the standard.

As the fat movement took hold, everyone was gaining seventy, eighty, sometimes one hundred pounds. One news magazine had a woman's very big butt on the cover with the caption, "Is there no end in sight?" Another showed a beach scene with hundreds of plump people in swimsuits with the headline, "Twice as much skin showing as this time last year." An on-line business journal noted the booming economy, led by the food industry. The web page showed a GIF of a man's belly bouncing up and down, with the caption, "The economy bounces back like never before."

The President, who didn't get to where he was by failing to see how the political winds were blowing, went from a trim 180 pounds to a portly 270. The tone for foreign policy was set when the President of the United States had a summit with the Premier of Russia. The President walked in, an imposing portly presence, easily a hundred pounds larger than the Premier. On one side of the table the President and his staff sat, with bulging bellies pushing up above the conference table. On the other was the Russian delegation, looking thin and envious. The President smiled at the Premier and said quietly, "I want you to know that the United States is here for you. If you are having trouble feeding your people, we are ready to help." The Premier was humiliated. He became furious, and turned red in the face. He was not going to have the imperialist Americans think that the Russian Federation couldn't eat just as well as anyone in the world. The Premier kept his temper, just barely, and assured the President that no help was needed. After the Summit, the Premier returned to Russia and the word quietly went out. Anyone with a flat belly was headed for Siberia. No one wanted to face living in that cold, desolate land, and soon Russian bellies rivaled the world's.

Once the Russians embraced the fat movement, the Chinese saw it as a rivalry to be met, and put in place a three-year plan for every adult to gain one hundred pounds. Released from the old controls and taboos, the hundred pound weight gain took less than a year. Taiwan and Japan saw the Chinese bellies as a challenge to their honor, and responded quickly with new rolls of fat around their middles. The Middle East finally became peaceful as the various factions saw it as their faithful duty to be as fat as the Western world. The fat movement continued to spread across the world, and one by one entire nations became fat and happy. Old conflicts that once would have led to war would instead end up being settled at negotiation tables that doubled as dinner tables.

Worldwide, economies boomed. Manufacturing took off. New airline seats were ordered that were wide enough to accommodate heavy customers who had become the norm instead of the exception. As airplanes could only hold a fraction of the customers that used to be crammed on board, orders went out for additional aircraft. The furniture industry marketed bigger, sturdier chairs and sofas. Home renovation businesses picked up as people needed wider doorways, reinforced toilets and for two story homes, elevators. Unsurprisingly, the clothing industry had record sales as people were buying new clothes every month to fit their continually expanding frames. The auto industry had to redesign compact cars, as most customers couldn't fit behind the wheels, and the suspensions couldn't handle the weight of four hefty adults. Crime fell to nearly zero. Criminals couldn't crawl through windows anymore, and even if they did commit a crime, running from the police just ended up with everyone collapsing by the side of the street. And with the new red hot economy, jobs were so easy to get that the temptation to steal evaporated. Even the sex industry changed to meet the emerging tastes of their customers. Topless bars catered to big men who wanted a big woman to lap dance for them. Prostitutes actually became healthier. They couldn't fatten up while using drugs like heroin and cocaine, and pot became the drug of choice. Bad news for the coca growers, until they converted their fields to grow pot.