fairmeadow campus capers (updated 23/10/17)

Chapter 1 - introduction characters and a contest

A misty wave of thin autumnal rain whispered over the leafy expanse of Fairmeadow Campus, where despite the brisk wind and earliness of the hour, a crowd of over a hundred students - in various states of awakeness - had assembled beside the large area of grass that served as the campus sports field.

Most stood chattering in small groups, many clasping cups of steaming coffee. Others queued at the handful of stalls that had been set up by Fairmeadow's more entreprenurial inhabitants, lining up for cocoa and hot snacks to stave off the cool morning air, before moving to shelter under the large marquee that been erected in front of the pavilion. A handful of windows of the long, four-storey dorm building overlooking the field were open, revealing the leaning figures of ruffled bed-headed students, many still in pyjamas, the steam rising from their coffees and cocoa. Alongside the pavilion, an intrepid team of cheerleaders were stepping trough a routine, seemingly impervious to the cold despite their skimpy clothing and slender bodies.

Turning away from the stall, Joe Danford winced as the coins he'd just parted with clattered into a tin pencil case that was this morning serving as a makeshift till. Lifting his foot-long hotdog slowly to deter the mass of onions, ketchup and mustard from escaping, Joe held it unsteadily before his face, letting his bleary eyes focus. Then his jaw creaked open and annexed a sizeable portion.

After a few perfunctory chews - each of which vibrated through his skull as if there were a microphone in his mouth - Joe gulped the gobfull down with a grimace, feeling the hot mustard soothe his sore throat.

Wiping ketchup off his nose, he quickly took another large bite.

"Whoah there Joey boy!"

Joe winced as the sprightly feminine voice pierced his eardrum like a needle, passing through his throbbing head and emerging the other side. He turned in the direction of the disturbance.

Wrapped in a short, stylish coat that flared out slightly around her shapely hips, and with her thick shoulder-length brunette locks framing a pair of mischeviously bright green-brown eyes, Ellie Pebble looked far, far too cheerful for this hour of the morning.

Pushing a few damp auburn strands out of her face, she grinned and nodded at her housemate's half-eaten hotdog.

"We're here for a race, remember? Not an eating contest."

Not the sharpest wit at the best of times, Joe's hangover left him woefully ill-equipped to deal with his housemate's sprightly sarcasm. "S'only my second," he grunted eventually, lazily biting off another hefty chunk.

"Hot dog" chirped Ellie helpfully. "You also dispatched three pop tarts this morning" Joe kept chewing, his face expressionless. "And given the wrappers on the kitchen floor," Ellie continued, "I'd wager there was a Double Hungry-Boy Burger not more than a few hours before that. And I'd bet my last bonbon that came with a veritable sack of fries."

Ellie paused to give a short laugh: "Or - aha - I would bet the bonbon, only it appears you scoffed that too."

Hoping to mask his inability to think up a retort - or an excuse - Joe swallowed his mouthful and defiantly began to shove the entire remainder of his hot dog into his mouth. There was so much left his had to turn it sideways, but eventually it was all crammed in. His jaw was barely able to close and his cheeks bulged obscenely.

Unperturbed, Ellie took a step forward, narrowing her eyes.

"Not to mention an entire batch of freshly baked cupcakes."

Joe's nonchalent full-cheeked chewing suddenly stopped. Eyes bulging in shock, he began to protest - entirely forgetting that his mouth was still full. Half-choking as a mass of poorly chewed hotdog and bun descended into his throat, his attempt to speak emerged as a gutteral splutter.

Sh*t - the cupcakes! He'd forgotten about those! Returning to their Upsilon Block dorm early that morning after a heavy night out, he and Chad had found their traditional post-night-out burger and fries - mostly consumed in the cab on the way home - an inadequate cure for their drunken hunger. A few cookies and bonbons from the kitchen tins had helped. Then Chad hit the motherlode, opening the fridge to discover a whole tray of freshly baked angel cupcakes, with their seductive strawberry sprinkles and thick swirly buttercream toppings. Well... it had been far too tempting a target. Joe couldn't remember how many there were - just that they had gobbled up the lot between them, giggling and guffawing like naughty schoolboys at their tasty thievery.

"That *mmph* *cough* wasn't *ahck* me." he panted, bending forward and hammering a fist to his chest in a desparate effort to suppress the spluttering and eject an obstinate chunk of hotdog.

"Chad *cough* he *puff* *cough* he *uugh* ate them!"

Ellie's eyebrows soared. She had lived with Joe and Chad for nearly three months now, and it was impossible to believe that one would be an innocent bystander while his partner in crime consumed eight immensely rich cupcakes single-handed. That they'd put away four each was remarkable enough, even with their alcohol-enhanced appetites. There was just no way Joe would forego his share of the spoils. He and Chad were as thick as thieves.

As Joe continued to battle with his snack, Ellie's mind drifted back to that first day on Campus. She, Chloe and Sarah could hardly believe their luck when they met the three very handsome male housemates that fate had paired them with. Now, three months on, the honeymoon was well and truly over. Sure, the guys were still handsome, but in most other ways Chad, Joe and Troy had turned out to be housemates from hell.

True to the college stereotype, the boys' principal activities consisted of drinking beer, playing video games and hooking up with girls. And then sleeping all that off with inevitably lengthy lie-ins. Ellie's hopes that this was just a Freshers phase proved unfounded in the weeks that followed. And while the girls would wake early and walk or cycle to Uni (usually after cleaning up the debris of yet another drink-fuelled evening left by their male counterparts) the guys would be snoring off their hangovers, recovering from the previous night's partying and building up the energy to do it all again the next. Lectures were rarely attended.

Moreover, their general laziness extended to household chores. Occasionally empty beer bottles would be removed from the coffee table to make room for more, and washing clothes was a necessary evil. But that was as far as it went. Cleaning was almost unknown and cooking a totally alien concept - although the guys' initial efforts to survive solely on pizza and beer did end when they realised that Chloe was a culinary science major. Thereafter they made frequent and (in Ellie's view) alarmingly successful attempts to flatter and cajole her into cooking for them. The pretty, quiet girl would slave over the stove while the boys pre-partied noisily in the living room with beer and video games, unceremoniously wolfing down whatever near-gourmet concoction she had painstakingly prepared before hurrying out to a party or nightclub - usually without a word of thanks to their chef, and always leaving a mess. A mess they added to or recreated when they made their loud return later, with takeout and girls in tow.

"OOOOUUURCCH!"

Ellie was startled out of her reminiscence by a rasping sound somewhere between a belch and a cough, as Joey finally managed to choke down the uncooperative chunk of hotdog. He stood there panting, hands on knees.

"You know Chloe made those for a project."

"Jeez *cough* Els, gimmie a break," Joe grimaced and gulped awkwardly. The coughing fit had done no good for his pounding head, nor his mood. "I *puff* told you it wasn't me." He struggled into an upright position, his breathing finally beginning to even out.

"What's the big deal, anyway? She can always make more."

"And lace them with a strong dose of laxatives if she's any sense," said Ellie to herself. Smirking, she imagined the greedy grins on her three male housemates as they returned after a night out to find a huge batch of glistening cream cakes sitting innocently on the table, guffawing at how dumb Chloe was for leaving such a tasty prize out as they eagerly filled their faces and fought one another for the crumbs... only to find themselves in another fight later on: this time over the nearest bathroom, as their post-snack naps were rudely interrupted by urgently gurgling stomachs.

Ellie smiled, but soon shook off the thought. For one thing, Chloe was too kind a soul to administer such rough justice. For another, they'd probably get kicked out of university for it.

Anyway, today Ellie had a different kind of revenge in mind. One that would be far wider consequences.

"I guess you're right." she shrugged with resignation as Joe looked surprised at her acquiescence. "No biggie." Turning her head, Ellie nodded towards the start line.

"Shall we head over? Or are you getting another dog?"

Joe scratched his stomach absentmindedly. He felt pretty full, but that second hotdog had done little to dampen his hangover. The coughing fit hadn't helped either. If anything, his head felt even heavier than before. More protein might do the trick.

Besides, he thought, licking his lips: those hot dogs were damn good. Maybe he'd get a date with the girl selling them.

"I'm good for now," he replied at length, before adding with a grin: "When you lose, your first task can be to get me another one."

"Ohhh, we shall see about that, my dear Joseph!" Ellie laughed, her green eyes sparkling.

And with a competitive glance at one another, the two housemates began their walk towards the pavilion.
37 chapters, created 9 years , updated 6 years
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Comments

Fatlover23 2 years
Hurry up and post more soon please!
Fatlover23 2 years
Update soon please? I need it!
Zachi 2 years
It's a shame that we don't get to know Ellie's plan ...
Fatlover23 2 years
Are you going to update soon? I need MOAR!
Fatlover23 3 years
Update soon please!?
Iread247 4 years
I really love this story. smiley Forever one of my top faves
Fatlover23 4 years
Any chance of updating soon? I am missing this story!
Hurgon 4 years
Thanks Sue! I'm really pleased that people enjoyed the story so much. I haven't given up on finishing this. Just had precious little time for writing, unfortunately!
Suestuft 4 years
Just want to add my voice to those anxious for a conclusion! We've followed the story so long, and the end is so near. It would be cruel to leave us with no closure. I hope creative urges strike soon!

(And thanks for the pleasurable reading this far
Hurgon 4 years
I think I have. Will dig them out and post.
Fatlover23 4 years
As long as you come back, we'll wait!
Hurgon 4 years
Hey. Sorry! I just haven't had time for writing for quite a while. Life has been crazy busy!! I may get back to it, but afraid I can't make any promises!
Fatlover23 4 years
Have you given up on this story then? It's been nearly a year!
Fatlover23 5 years
More?
Now?
Please?
We needs!
Iread247 5 years
I hope one day you will return to this one smiley I'm just so curious how it will end up.
Fatlover23 5 years
Hurry up please!
FrecherTyp 5 years
i so much like the complexity of your story would love to talk to you some day ;-)

thanks for that genius story although i would heve liked more teasing and fitnesstests from the girls challenging the guys and compare their fit trim bodies with the bo
Fatlover23 6 years
I don't suppose you have any specific actors in mind for the characters?
Hurgon 6 years
Thanks! I'm excited for it too - just been lacking time to write recently. Musn't keep the boys waiting for their meal much longer!
Fatlover23 6 years
I don't suppose anyone can make a TV Tropes page for this story and message me if they do? I don't know how, but this story deserves one!
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