chapter 5

The restaurant which Carolyn had picked turned out to be Italian and, I was surprised to notice, quite reasonably priced!

"I just really, really wanted a pizza," she told me as she looked at the menu. "Shall we get a large one and share it?"

I shrugged. "Get whatever you want for yourself; I don't actually like cheese."

A look of disbelief crossed Carolyn's face, followed by concern. For a minute, I thought she was going to suggest going somewhere different; instead, she closed her menu, grinned and said, "More for me!" I don't know how well I hid the look of excitement on my face, but she seemed not to notice it.

Carolyn selected a fifteen inch thin crust pizza and I had a bowl of pasta and chicken. It was not great, and I had to review my definition of a reasonable price! However, Carolyn did enjoy her pizza and ate it all, seemingly without trying and looked at her empty plate with a mixture of disbelief and disappointment when she realised it was gone. I quickly took advantage and persuaded her to have pudding, but actually; she did not need a lot of persuasion!

Over the next few days, we fell into a very regular pattern. Carolyn would rise at some point between nine and ten, to find a large breakfast waiting. As much as it excited me, I did not give her quite as much as that first day, mainly because I noticed that when she ate too much, she became very sleepy and if she was not able to lay down, very moody. Striking the balance between feeding her enough to keep her happy, but not so much that she became irritable was like walking a tightrope.
A couple of times over the week she demanded to go home and told me that she had no desire to stay with me. This freaked me out in a way that I had never experienced before. Again, I had to question myself: What did Carolyn have that so affected me? What was that something that no other woman in my life had ever had?

After breakfast, we would go out and be tourists. One day at the Tower, the next at Buckingham Palace and Westminster Abbey. Art galleries, museums, landmarks; we saw them all with Carolyn either eating, drinking, smoking or talking. Part of me wondered if she could actually go five minutes without using her mouth. At night, we would return to my house and either arrange to go out for dinner or order in a take away. It was so easy to forget that Carolyn was only nineteen because she always seemed more mature, but I was reminded of her age when we had "moments" which led to teenage tantrums. One such occurrence was on the Thursday night when the chef made us his Creamy Chicken Speciality on couscous; the cause of our biggest argument. Carolyn told me that I was "tight" because I didn't want to take her out to dinner. The fact that she ate double helpings and really enjoyed it didn't seem to matter. Also, I did not cross her mind that actually, I had paid for the food and had staff to cook it, to wait on her and to clean up after her. A restaurant would have been cheaper!
Still, Carolyn could not be wrong and made her point by sitting on the settee, arms folded, in silence all night. That was the reason why, more out of spite than anything else if I am honest, I took her to the top of the Monument in Pudding Lane on Friday.

The Monument marks the starting point of The Great Fire of London and at two hundred and two feet, it is the tallest tower in London - not counting the buildings, obviously. It is even taller that Nelson's Column, and there is a spiral staircase up the inside which seems to go on forever, but the view over central London from that height is amazing. I got to the top and had to take a few minutes to regain my breath and recover, and I must admit that I was a little amused to see Carolyn struggle up the last few steps, breathing heavily. Her breasts were heaving as she leaned against the railings gasping for air, before slowly sinking to the floor. I could not resist making a remark about her smoking habit, but the glare I received in return made me wish I hadn't.

The next day I was horrified to discover that my little bit of revenge had backfired! Carolyn had gone straight to bed when we got in, claiming to feel unwell, and she was up before me on the Saturday morning. I walked into the living room to find her laid on the settee with her trousers undone, feeling her own stomach. She had certainly gained a few pounds over the week with her constant snacking, and as I watched her rub her softer belly, I could see the look on her face. Carolyn was not happy. When she noticed I had walked in, Carolyn sat up and hastily pulled her jumper down to cover her exposed stomach.

"Do you think I am getting fat again?" she asked.

"I've seen you all day every day," I replied with a shrug. "I won't notice small changes." That made me wonder, because I obviously had noticed her softer belly and slightly rounder hips; I must have specifically looked for signs of weight gain. The thought both excited and concerned me at the same time, and I realised that my obsession with Carolyn was somehow linked to her weight and specifically when it was increasing!

I sat next to her on the settee feeling apprehensive. Carolyn was very unpredictable and contradicted herself at least twenty times per day. One minute, we were going to be together forever, the next she couldn't stand the sight of me. I had to get this right, because with only a week to go before I delivered her to my employer, I didn't want to lose her now. I told myself that it was a purely business rationale, but in truth, I genuinely liked having her around - even with her moodiness and fickle behaviour. Gently, I took Carolyn's hand and smiled at her.

"We are going on holiday soon to a tropical paradise, and you look amazing," I said. "Everybody will be so jealous when they see me with you." She flashed that beautiful smile at me - the one that still took my breath away every time I saw it - but she pulled her hand away from mine.
"I know we are going on holiday together," she said, "but just so you know; nothing is going to happen between us."

I nodded. "Whenever you feel ready. I am in no rush; I just want you to be happy."
Carolyn smiled again and leaned back on the settee, her hand rubbing her stomach again. All I could think was how much I wished I was doing that.

"Did the doctor raise any concerns when she weighed you at the medical?" I asked, and instantly realised what I had said. Carolyn's head snapped round and she glared at me.

"How do you know I was weighed?" she demanded.

Thinking quickly, I stammered, "Well... Er... Because I was weighed too... I just assumed..."
Carolyn grunted, but did not seen convinced. She lit a cigarette and looked at me thoughtfully. For a moment I thought she was going to ask for a set of scales or worse, that she had realised just how much food I had been pushing her way for the last week.

"The doctor didn't have any concerns," Carolyn told me. "In fact, she said I was in perfect shape." I nodded, waiting for her to continue as there was obviously some idea working its way through her mind. She frowned as she turned her head slightly to not blow smoke in my face. When she turned back, I could see she had reached some sort of conclusion. I held my breath, waiting for the bad news.

"She kept prodding me, feeling my arms and legs," said Carolyn. "It's like she knew I used to be fat. I was really surprised, because she told me that I should try to smoke more to make sure I don't gain weight so easily. I hope you don't have a problem with that?"

I was taken aback because I was not expecting her to say anything like that. Carolyn took my muttered stammering as disappointment.

"I have to ask you," she said, "because I need you to provide the extra cigarettes for me. I don't have enough money to buy them myself."

"I promised to do whatever makes you happy," I said with a smile, not really knowing what was happening any more, but then Carolyn gave me a massive grin.

"I can't wait to get on that beach with you," she said as she leaned over and kissed me.