Growing up as a fat kid I thought the natural thing would be for me to get fatter. It took me a long time to get to the point where I didnt care what people though about me..
When I was younger
Ever since I was little. Everyone in my family has always been chubby to obese. I never got crap about my weight from anyone. It never occured to me when I was in elementary school that the kids were mean to me because I was fat. When I was younger no one treated me like a freak. Now that Im older things have changed. When I turned 18 though things changed. Everyone started going on diets. My cousins all started looking like models. My grandparents were thinner then I was. My family was turning into a streiotypical nightmare. Then I found a friend online who turned out to be a feeder. He tried to help me but everytime I chickened out because by then I knew what it ment to be fat.
When I was skinny
I use to be this thin back when I was about 18. I went from 158(slightly overweight) to 120 in only a month. I was living in a 2 bedroom apartment with a whole bunch of people who I thought were my friends. I think I was only eating maybe once every other day. I was shocked at how much my other friends ate and how they were gaining when I was thining out. I was miserable and cranky to most everyone. I always felt like something was missing. I was secretly jelous of how better looking my friends were then me. I longed for the courage to get fat like they were.
Now that I am fat
Getting pregnant with my daughter really put the pounds on me. Once I move back home I went up to 160 and really didnt notice because i was still pretty muscular. Once I got pregnant though the gain started to show. I went from 160-220. After I had her I went back to 200. I have pretty much stayed there. I have tried to gain. I have dreams of getting so much fatter. One of my dreams is to actually have a belly that goes to my knees. I love the feeling of getting full and eating more. I love how distended my belly can get in just one sitting. I am proud of how big I am and I am not scared of getting bigger. What really brought me around was the courage of the people of this site. If they can do it then so can I.
