Lifestyle tips

Hello my fellow feedists!

Any sort of content that I find outside of the community within the kink, queer and fat acceptance spaces that reference feedism tend to demonise it and its participants despite some of these being considered to be some of the most sex positive communities on the internet.

Look I understand that there are those with ill intent as part of the community and a significant amount of antisocial behaviour present from members of the feedism community. I’ve also been told by otherwise very progressive people in my life that feedism is immoral but I don’t believe this to be the case. I am a nonbinary person and feedism feels to me like a part of my identity and truly something beautiful but it is also the only part that I feel I have to hide from others for fear of social isolation/shaming.

I’ve lost and am continuing to lose quite a bit of weight recently as a result of trying to fix unhealthy habits with a view to gain again in a more sustainable and healthy way, but now that I am more clear-headed and have a better sense of self-esteem, seeing something that is a part of myself that I can’t ignore being called immoral and sick and something to be afraid of hurts and it’s hard to not be ashamed even though I do not think it is something to be ashamed of.

So my question to all those feedists out there is. How have y’all managed to find comfort in this part of yourself despite the shame, embarrassment, objectification and all the other baggage that goes along with being a feedist?

THIS! I think it’s a case of people being ignorant/dismissing what they don’t understand. As much as we can try and educate, people will always have their misgivings and prejudices.

The most important thing is self acceptance. That took me way too long. When you have that, the judgement of others tends to be water off a ducks back so to speak.

It sounds like you’re doing the work and are trying to do this in a healthy way. It is part of our identity and that’s perfectly fine! I hope you find the peace you deserve.

I would think of this as a litmus test to see who does and doesnt believe in progressive ideas. Anyone who says that fat fetishism is inherently predatory or gross has no idea what many cultures of the world were like before white colonialism.

Anyone even in the queer community who says fat fetishism is bad is likely the same type of queer person to say anti-trans things or racist things (which happens all too much.)

To put it simply, it is a question of bodily autonomy. Being fat doesn't hurt others, so I don't think we should acknowledge the people who call all forms of feeding and fat fetishism immoral. They just aren't engaging with reality.

Most feedees and gainers are well aware the consequences of more extreme practices of the space. So the purpose of pointing it all out is clearly shame. And Kita doesn't need that in her life, personally.

Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

I have been fat for all my life and I have always had a preference for others to be fat too. So I really had to learn to ignore society’s fat phobia from a young age. No big surprise, food and eating have been my go to solutions to cope with stress and adversity. But I have also been lucky enough to eventually find a permanent partner who is fat and shares my love of fat and food. I don’t see myself as a feeder or feedee and the same goes for my partner. We consider ourselves mutual gainers, fat appreciators and food lovers. To the world around us we are just another obese couple with bad eating habits, in our own private world we love and support each other by appreciating each other’s fat and massive appetites.

That's kinda true, although I understand those uneducated on the matter who only know of it tangentially given the like evil straight cis man feeder narrative that seems to exist around it being a little frightened/untrustworthy of the idea. I genuinely think that if most truly sex-positive people were willing to listen and actually have a conversation about it and hear they would be more comfortable with the idea but getting to that point would be hard.

I guess at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what other people think. I doubt most will assume a fetish when people start gaining weight and those I actually do want to share this part of me would I am certain at least be willing to have the conversation to give me a chance to explain should I ever get the courage to share given that they have done the same for everyone else in the friend group's kinks/fetishes/sexualities.

Sorry, I'm just rambling at this point but it's nice to be able to type it out and get some of these things off my mind in a place where I'm not scared about it existing.