Johutt:
I'd love to talk about this with people who are experiencing the same thing!
M25 that often experience periods where my libido and fantasies are a lot more vivd than usual. This makes my weight gain fantasies go loco and I do everything in my power to gain weight, because I want results as rapid as possible. Then after three or so weeks this period ramps down I go back to a normal state of mind where I'm not so much in my own head thinking about what turns me on. Then, suddenly, my attempts to gain and my new pounds of fat feels rather horrible, and I want to go back to my normal eating habits and my normal weight.
It's been like this for many many years. It's honestly a bit exhausting. And it has nothing to do with my not feeling ready with getting fat, or fear of being judged. If I want to plump up I will.
Maybe this would stop if I was fat. Then I wouldn't have to worry about wanting to get back to normal bc fat would be my normal. The nicest thing would be if I could be fat and fit at the same time!
I have no experience in this because I have always liked being fat and I want to gain weight as quickly as possible, but I recommend that you do what makes you feel good and comfortable without pressuring you. I also tell you that it is possible to be fat and "healthy" (And yes, I put it in quotes because we know that fat and being healthy are not usually in the same sentence) at the same time, you would just have to gain weight gradually, trying to eat healthy food in large quantities and avoiding junk food and combining it with strength exercises.
