StuffedWithSin:
I guess this is half a question half ??????
I am just not sure if this is a case of "go to therapy" or if there are others who feel similar and maybe know ways to make it better.
Basically, weight gain has been my biggest fetish since I can think. Especially belly focused stuff and teasing/humiliation.
Everyone in my family is super slim (genetics) and I grew up with some kind of body shaming from my maternal family side so I've always been very self conscious about my body. My best guess is also that this is where my kink combination came from.
Now, to this day I'm heavily turned on by verbal degradation and physical touching of my belly and the idea of having a bigger, softer stomach.
At the same time, anytime I start putting on weight I freak out.
It's like - I have those waves where I'm super horny for a week or so and get extremely into gaining, stuffing etc. And then suddenly I go back to "I want a six pack, let's go! Work out!"
I just don't think I really want to get fat all over, would live to be somewhat toned - but also really crave having a big, round belly.
I also dream of having a person to share this kink with but I am terrified of talking with any person who has the potential of meeting me irl.
Conclusion: I feel like I'm my own greatest enemy, blocking me from enjoying my kink in the physical realm and I don't know if there's a way to work this out.
Well. Anyone related?
I can say that I’m much the same.
And here’s the lesson I’ve gotten from all this: That even the ambiguity and the duality of your Jeckyll and Hyde mind can be amazing — and arousing.
This is a very complex fetish for you. It’s not as simple as for others, but learning to accept the inner conflicts and ambiguous feelings — and not just accept but embrace them — is what really has helped.
Because you get off on humiliation and teasing, as do I, you might find solace in feeling all this. It’s not something pathological. It’s just how your brain works with this fetish. Don’t struggle. Accept it. Enjoy the conflicting thoughts. They won’t hurt you. They are just thoughts after all. And they are as arousing and exciting as humiliation and embarrassment — if you’ll just let them be.
Anyway, that’s my take on this and how I’ve dealt with this.
