General

I don't know why but ever since I found out someone in the Community got wls I've been in a very real state of mourning. Going on 8 years since I found out and I still cry when I think about it which is basically all the time. For perspective I loved my mother as deeply as a son could but since she passed I have not been able to cry once in the 2 months since she left us but I absolutely weep several times a week when I think about the other. Also I'm autistic and one of my traits is that things have to make sense through logic and mathematics but a thin person intentionally gaining weight just to get the surgery makes zero sense. If I could just know the reasons for her decisions I feel like I could start to recover and feel human again and not have to pretend I give a shit when people talk to me and then have to say something that seems like an appropriate response because I can't interact with the world naturally anymore. Sorry if I'm rambling. This is a cry for help eight years in the making. I don't know what to do.

This is a certified Go Touch Grass (TM) moment.

Seek professional help. Unfortunately, internet strangers are not equipped to give the support you are looking for. This is not specific to this community; rather, it requires a trained professional. And even if there are any psychiatrists or therapists on this site, they'd agree that this isn't a setting conducive to personal healing.

Thank you for responding and responding how you all did. I'm sure there's something that needs attention. I just find it strange that it's one singular person. I too have seen many come and go without even batting an eye but there's something about this one. I wonder if it's misappropriated grief over my father's passing about 2 years beforehand because I was not handling that well at all to the point that I probably should have been institutionalized but after I found out about her it's like a switch got flipped and my dad's passing no longer so viscerally bothered me. Thank you again for responding.